


Unraveling

by KaySeeingSparks



Category: Days of Our Lives
Genre: F/M, Gen, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-12
Updated: 2019-08-07
Packaged: 2019-10-08 15:26:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 45,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17388911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaySeeingSparks/pseuds/KaySeeingSparks
Summary: Everything and everyone in Salem seemingly wants to keep Ben and Ciara apart. But as they draw closer to each other, their pasts seem to create even more dangerous obstacles. Can they set it all aside and move forward together?





	1. Epiphany

**Author's Note:**

> What started as a way to rein in my shipper brain has now turned into 15+ chapters of a bonafide story. I have found that there is quite a bit of exposition in my writing, as I believe a) details make a story and b) I love getting to go deeper into a character's mindset/thoughts. I hope that you enjoy it. Writing is/has been stretching, challenging and ultimately wonderful. I love and appreciate any and all feedback! But be kind, please. I'm fragile! Jk. But seriously, enjoy!

Ciara sat in the cafe, laptop open in front of her. The blank cursor seemed to taunt her - clearly there was no blogging to be done today. She barely had patience for the idea when Marlena had brought it up in therapy. But she had to admit, the few times she had managed to write her thoughts out it did seem to help clear the mental clutter. 

Not today. 

Her father's bike was always the easiest way to escape, but with the snow setting in it was increasingly less practical. And after everything that had happened recently... the aftermath of the cabin, to giving it a real shot with Tripp, to trying to escape her mother constantly seeking to control her every move, there was a lot to unpack. But there was one subject she didn't want to even go near, even in her own mind. It was what was at the center of all the rest of it - Ben Weston.

She knew better than to try to run and distance herself, but she couldn't help it - that's what she did. What she felt was too big, too complicated. In the silent places of her mind that she'd only began to share with Ben at the cabin, Ciara felt as though she was broken beyond repair - she couldn't escape her past. She was damaged goods, end of story. 

Sometimes, even now, she wanted to jump on her bike and never look back. She had learned her lesson on that one, as the last time she'd tried she'd nearly gotten herself killed. But then, a stranger picked her up out of her own her wreckage, and carried her to safety... 

At the cabin, she'd felt free. For the first time in her life she knew she was in the right place at the right time. Though she'd been bruised and her leg was broken, for once she hadn't been a victim. Of all people it was Ben Weston who had allowed her to simply be her, no expectations or assumptions. When he looked at her, he didn't see the horrible things that had happened to her. He'd made her feel accepted exactly as she was. Against all odds, they had connected on a deeper level than she had with anyone, ever. And it was him who had made her feel something more real and powerful than she'd ever known, something that scared her more than she could say. 

Memories of the past few months came unbidden to her mind - reaching for his hand in the cabin to bring him out of his tortured thoughts. Then, seeing her father's bike restored at his hands and running into his arms, letting him hold her; to Ciara falling in the square but his strong hands catching her, always gently and carefully protecting her. Then to standing in front of her mother defending Ben, fire running through her veins as she did because she knew in her heart that he was worth it; to sitting across from him in the Brady Pub, listening to memories of his horrific childhood laid out. How he had tried to shut inside of himself, and how natural it felt reaching her hands to his, if only to let him know she wouldn't leave him. 

It was that moment that she couldn't seem to let go of: how right it felt as he held her hands, and how every person within a 5 mile radius seemed to disappear when they were together. He'd looked at her in that moment like she was the only thing anchoring him to the universe. And then the way his hand held her face as he leaned in to kiss her, close enough that she could feel his breath on her lips...

She shut the laptop quickly to snap herself out of her reverie. The fact was - Ben was off limits, in more ways than one. She was with Tripp, she loved Tripp - he was a good guy. They had history. And besides, nothing could ever come of her and Ben. Right? 

As she thought it, the way her heart ached seemed to answer the silent question for her. What ridiculous thing had she said to him? "I thought we just got caught up in a moment." Internally she kicked herself. A moment, yes... but it certainly had been building between them, exactly as he'd said. She'd been furious with him for suggesting that the only reason she'd slept with Tripp was because he was out of the picture. She had made that decision, she had reasoned. But since he'd said it, she'd considered it further - Hadn't it been that night that she'd decided to be with him? Hadn't she felt so betrayed, so stupid for trusting and being so wrong again that she wanted to regain control? Of her mind, her body, her heart? 

The moment she'd heard there was proof that Ben had set the fire, she was devastated. The fact that she slept with Tripp right after couldn't be coincidental, no matter what she'd tried to convince herself of. She'd been so cold to him at the police station, trying desperately to say something to hurt him the way he had hurt her and betrayed her trust... or so she'd thought. The look in Ben's eyes at the thought she had lost all faith in him made her heart sink, even now months later. 

From the moment she took his hand in the cabin, pulling him from his own mental prison, something between them had opened. It was a chasm of feelings she'd thought impossible for someone like her. She was broken, far too much to love or be loved... but still, something deeper and stronger than anything she'd ever known had begun between her and Ben. She couldn't deny it to herself any longer. 

Sitting alone in her grandfather's club, Ciara let her true feelings wash over her. The air around her seemed to shift though no one else seemed to notice - and then she realized it was amazing she'd ever been able to deny it at all. Suddenly she knew she needed to go back to the loft and talk to Tripp - this could change everything between them. She didn't know where or if they would stand at the end of it, but she had to be honest. With him... and with herself. 

Before she could even catch her bearings she realized it was happening again - a phenomenon she couldn't explain. She'd felt it first in the cabin, most recently at the Brady Pub, and so many times in between: Ciara's senses heightened, almost like static electricity all over her body. Something deep inside clicked into place that she hadn't even realized she was missing: and there he was. 

The club doors had opened and Ben walked in. The couple stumbling in not a moment behind him would have caused any other person to stumble. But instead, he gracefully stepped almost immediately to the side, shaking off the snow from his hoodie. Ciara froze in place, unable to look away. It was almost hypnotic, watching him sweep his hand quickly through his wet hair to remove the excess water, just like he did getting out of the shower - a thought her mind pushed away quickly, since the remainder of that memory included him clad only in a towel. She'd been watching him for nearly a full 10 seconds when he caught his bearings and they locked eyes. And as always, it seemed that as he did he could see right through any of her pretenses. 

He began to walk toward her, his eyes never leaving hers. Every step he took resonated inside of Ciara. As the epiphany she'd had just moments before solidified it's way through her whole body, her heart beat so loudly she could hear it in her ears. She was sure he'd be able to hear it if he came any nearer. How was it that could she want him to stay away AND come closer? Coming to a stop, Ben gave a tentative half smile at the chair in front of her, his strong hands gripping the back of it. 

"Is this seat taken?"

-••••-


	2. No Chance In Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first two chapters are, as you might have guessed, opposing viewpoints of the same event to Ciara and Ben respectively. I found that I've stayed mostly 3rd person and in Ciara's POV... though this may not always be the case in future chapters - Be prepared ;) as always constructive feedback is always appreciated!

Snowing... of course it was snowing. Yet another cafe - possibly the very last one in Salem - had just told him he wasn't "the right fit" even to wash dishes... ironic words to say to the Necktie Killer, he thought. Ben walked through the Horton Town Square, greeted by golfball sized flurries. It was the wet kind of snow that, though picturesque, could soak you in minutes. And the only thing he had to combat it was the hoodie on his back - a perfect ending to a great day, he thought bitterly. 

He wasn't heading anywhere in particular, the shelter didn't open it's doors for another few hours or so. And once he was in for the night he knew leaving wasn't wise, at least not if he wanted a place to sleep that wasn't a park bench. His intent was to go to the cafe to grab a bite, to distract from the last place in town turning him down flat. He then grimaced as he remembered Tripp and or Claire would probably be there. 

Claire he could handle - she was selfish and conniving but at least he knew where he stood around her. He'd let her think that he was her pawn in her plan to break up Ciara and Tripp, mostly because it was too much energy trying keeping up with her manipulations. Frankly he regretted agreeing to her plan in the first place - he didn't want to win Ciara that way. Not to mention, Claire could turn on him at any moment. But, something inside Ben told him that Tripp couldn't be trusted - maybe aligning with Claire he could find out what it was? It was more than what Ciara had told him at the cabin about walking in on Tripp and Claire hooking up - he was hiding something. His behavior since Ben had been cleared of setting the fire was a little too intense, a little too watchful. Besides, if Tripp WAS there, there'd be a chance Ciara was there to see him, and he'd risk having to see them... together, Tripp touching her, kissing her... 

Ben's stomach recoiled and his blood went hot. But it wasn't anger running through him, not violence. It was something far more dangerous in his mind - jealousy. At once he remembered what he'd had to remind himself of dozens of times since he and Ciara had nearly kissed at the Brady Pub - at the end of the day, Tripp wasn't a serial killer. He didn't have to stay on meds to keep from snapping all the time. And Ciara would never chose him over Tripp, no way, no chance in hell. He couldn't stand Tripp, but at least he'd never taken lives. Someone good and pure like Ciara should be with someone like Tripp Dalton, or 100 other guys over Ben Weston - clinically diagnosed psychopath, convicted murderer. 

He'd come to a stop in front of the club where he'd encountered Ciara just days before. She'd told him she didn't have any feelings for him, which he'd expected. But he'd been playing it over and over in his mind for some reason. Finally he'd come to the conclusion: it was the look in her eyes. The big, beautiful eyes that had pulled him back from the brink of his own darkness - the eyes that made his heart feel like it could beat again - hadn't looked at him with disgust when he'd told her he had feelings for her. The entire time he searched her gaze for a trace of it, but instead he could swear he saw something deeper... could it be longing? Regret? He couldn't fathom how it could be true, but he knew one thing - their interactions weren't one sided. Not by a long shot. 

Since the moment he'd laid eyes on Ciara, Ben had felt an almost primal, instinctual need to protect her. Even when his mind was at war with him, it was her face that pulled him back to reality, her hand that cleared the fog. And before, when he was at his most vulnerable telling her about his father taking the nameless man's life before his eyes, she had held him together. He was only pieces of a man, but with Ciara - maybe, possibly one day he could become whole. Ben sighed, until that day, he knew Ciara deserved far more than was. He was barely a person, let alone a man capable of giving someone like Ciara the love she deserved. He was lucky to even have her faith in him, or her friendship, after all she'd been through, and all he had done. It was enough, he decided. Having her in his life in any way was a blessing he didn't deserve. The way she believed in him, supported him, the way she looked at him... again he flashed back to the moment they'd nearly kissed at the pub. 

No one had ever looked at him like that before - as if she was pulling him out of the pit, and that she WANTED to... when they looked at each other time seemed to slow. People around disappeared, Tripp included. Ben knew it, and he knew Ciara did too. But she had told him, she was with Tripp, she'd made it clear there was no chance for them. He shook his head - there was no point going over it again and again. Ciara was with Tripp, and that wasn't changing. 

Approaching the entrance he said a silent prayer that Ciara's grandmother wasn't there so he could get a hot cup of coffee in peace. Pushing through the doors, a couple came in right behind him, laughing at the snow in their hair, so close together they could be one person. He moved quickly to the side, watching them. There was only one person he could ever imagine being that close to, enjoying something so simple with, and she didn't want him. 

His heart sank. Maybe if he stood still long enough, he thought, he'd disappear altogether like nearly everyone in Salem seemed to want him to. He quickly swiped the snow from his hair, off of his hoodie. At first slowly, then all at once he felt it - as if something had lifted off of his shoulders. An assuredness swept through him, pulling him forward. He looked up and there she was. Ciara was already looking at him, a somewhat stunned look on her face coupled with a small smile. If there were other people in the room, he was no longer aware. He reached her table quickly, the same one they'd talked at before. Ben knew he risked getting whatever was left of his heart completely torn open again. But in the same second he knew - she was worth it. 

"Is this seat taken?" 

-••••-


	3. Falling Slowly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't already please go check out the insanely talented only1tonid and her fic Safe Cin, it is totally amazing! She just posted chapter 17 and it's a doozy ;) https://archiveofourown.org/works/15668073/chapters/38505314
> 
> Also please check out the other authors we have in the Cin tag - we are a talented bunch of shippers! :) 
> 
> And thank you all for the lovely feedback and comments - I am truly humbled. Posting these chapters are very cathartic for me after so many months of sitting and obsessively editing. Lol! Enjoy chapter 3. :)

They looked at each other, probably for too long to the occasional passerby. Ben cocked his head to one side, causing a smirk from Ciara. 

"It's all yours." She said with a full smile, which he returned. 

Her heart swelled in her chest, and as he sat she felt relieved. Had it really only been a few days since she'd seen him? It felt longer. She tried to catch her bearings. She hadn't realized accepting her feelings would make her so off balance. 

"So, uh... How is the... job search? Going?" She asked, somewhat breathless. 

"Get it together, Ciara," she thought to herself. 

His face fell slightly. "Could be better. But I'm still determined. I've given up on restaurants. I'm trying for a more manual labor, work with my hands type of a thing. It's just hard to find that, being that-"

"There's snow on the ground?" She asked with her eyebrows raised. 

He returned her smirk. "Yeah. I don't know... I'm trying to stay as optimistic as I can." 

"Ben, I know it probably feels impossible but please, don't give up." 

She leaned forward toward him as she said it, automatically he shifted in his seat toward her. It was magnetic, the way she felt drawn to him. 

"You deserve a chance to make a fresh start as much as anyone. I'll tell anyone and everyone I need to in this town until it sticks." 

"That might take a while," he said grimly, one hand rubbing his forehead. She reached over the table and placed her hand over his other wrist. 

"I've got time. And you're worth it." She said, gripping his forearm. He smiled slightly, as their hands rested on top of one another on the table. As always, the room seemed to quiet as they sat, others disappearing around them. It was the arrival of the server greeting them that broke the spell. She lifted her arm carefully, his fingers flexing slightly as she did. 

"Can I get you anything?" 

"I'm fine, but a black coffee for him, please." She said. Ben looked at her in astonishment, as the server nodded once and walked away. 

"How do you know I take my coffee black?" Ben asked, dumbfounded. 

"You always do." Ciara said quietly, cheeks flushing slightly. 

"So you're paying attention... I'll have to remember that." He said playfully, biting his lip ever so slightly. Ciara sheepishly grinned in return, glancing back to find Ben's gaze had quickly turned electric. She cleared her throat to get back on track, the return of the server helped as well.

"Seriously Ciara, you don't know what your support means to me. I know I've told you before but I'll tell you again as many times as I have to - gratitude doesn't even begin to cover it. You make me believe an actual life is possible." Ben said, his arm reaching toward her wrist. But just before he reached her she pulled both arms back. 

"Ben," Ciara started, suddenly unable to look at him. 

He pulled his hand back straightaway, embarrassment flooding his features. "You were clear the other day about you and Tripp... I'm not trying to mess that up. I'm sorry. And about telling you I had feelings for you... I really didn't have a right to do that, it wasn't fair to you." His tone was placating. She shook her head, stopping him before he could apologize for anything else. 

"No, Ben, you don't have to say that. The fact that you were honest with me, even when you knew it could cost you just proves you're exactly the guy I've been telling everyone you are." She said, warmly. "Feelings are hard enough. Trying to keep them a secret, or pretending they aren't there just doesn't work. It always spills out, no matter what we do." She said honestly. Ben nodded, and again as they looked each other the room seemed to fade away. 

But still, he had sat up straighter, leaning back to a more formal position. It was clear he was trying to establish distance between them. Ironic, Ciara thought, as she had never wanted to eliminate those boundaries more than she did right then. But she shook her head, taking a deep breath. 

"Ben, I actually have to go." She said, standing from the table as fast as she could. She had to go talk to Tripp, before she lost any more nerve. She was terrified, but she had to be honest with him. Ben looked around quickly. 

"Ciara, you don't have to leave because of me. I can go if you're uncomfortable." 

"No, no! It's not that. I promise. I," she scrambled. "I promised Claire that I would pick her up from work. She's done the dishes the last few times so I figured I owed her one." The words came out in a jumble, but were convincing enough. It wasn't even a complete lie... it just wasn't true tonight. He nodded once, seeming to buy it. 

"There you go again, being better to people than they deserve." He smiled, eyes warm. Ciara's heart thudded against her chest as he looked at her in the way he always seemed to: like she was all he cared about in the world. 

"Yeah, right. Just trying to play nice with her. It's weird, lately she's been overall not as terrible to me. Go figure." Ciara shrugged. Something seemed to flash in Ben's eyes as she said it, and he took a sip of his coffee, though she couldn't place what or why. 

"Well anyway I've gotta be heading out." Ciara said, getting out before any more damage could be done. "I'll see you soon?" She asked. He smirked. 

"I hope sooner rather than later." Ben replied with a smile. That smile... suddenly her knees felt a little wobbly. She managed a quick smirk back at him and left the table, knowing if she looked back she'd be totally screwed. Ciara pushed through the club doors different than she'd entered - she knew that being honest with Tripp was the right thing to do. She had no clue what came next, but knew two things: the connection she had with Ben was only growing stronger. And though she did love Tripp, after her conversation with him, nothing would be the same. 

-••••-


	4. You Can't Always Get What You Want

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In keeping with my new fave tradition of highlighting some of my fave authors and my Cin fam, please go check out the amazing Sara's page https://www.fanfiction.net/u/3670978/SaraCiuzio - she has many downright awesome Cin fics and her writing is some of my favorite. ❤ also she can read my mind and say things directly from my brain before I can. It's crazy. 😂
> 
> C4 is the longest yet... but it sets up quite a bit for where we're headed! Thanks for putting up with my verboseness... imagine how hard it is for me to tweet?! 😂 I hope you've enjoyed the story so far, thank you for your kind words and feedback. I will never get tired of saying how much I love this fandom. :)

Ciara walked through the park as quickly as she could without slipping. It had stopped snowing but the ground was slick, and she wasn't the most coordinated even on dry land. She held her arms to her chest, breathing into her scarf. She smiled to herself, the emotions from seeing Ben still surging through her. She didn't know what was going to happen, but what Ben made her feel - an excitement, expectation and a different kind of nervous she couldn't explain - was different than anything she'd ever felt. She'd told Tripp just days before that she didn't have feelings for Ben because she was afraid... she still was. But she hadn't intended to lie. So she had to come clean, regardless of the outcome.

"If Wyatt narcs me out to the cops, I could go to jail, Claire!"

As Ciara came around the corner near the bench she heard a familiar voice. She recognized it immediately as Tripp's but what he said made no sense... Wyatt? What did he have to do with anything? Why would he go to jail? She stepped carefully so that she was out of sight but still within earshot, hiding behind the wall. She was only feet away from Tripp and whoever he was talking to.

"Tripp, I told you - I've got this handled. You just need to chill and stick to the story Wyatt told my grandmother." Claire's voice chimed in, her tone soothing but with undertones of menace that Ciara knew well. She felt her stomach drop.

"All for trying to get that maniac away from Ciara and in prison where he belongs," Tripp snarled.

"Wyatt isn't going to say a word, okay? He's been well compensated for his little fib to the police. You'll be in the clear for planting that can of accelerant and framing Ben, I'll make sure of it." Claire purred, to which Tripp was silent. Ciara's mouth fell open on the other side of the pillar. She moved toward an opening so she could see them better.

"Ciara can never know that it was me. Claire, she can't ever find out. She would never understand... Promise me," Tripp pleaded. Claire put her hands on Tripp's shoulders.

"It will be our secret. No one will ever know." Claire assured him, her thumbs rubbing his shoulders. Anger flooded through Ciara like she had only experienced a few times before - she remembered how gutted she was when she'd caught them nearly having sex. Then she was totally unprepared... Not this time. She marched out from behind the pillar, coming up behind Claire. Tripp's eyes widened in fear as he pulled back from Claire, she turned and looked at Ciara with Tripp's same stunned expression.

"Ciara," he choked out.

"It was you? You planted that canister? You framed Ben?" She asked, in shock.

Tripp stared at her, unable to speak.

"You're not even going to deny it? Not even going to try to lie to my face again?!" She stepped toward him, betrayal flooding her.

"No. I'm not gonna lie to you. It was me." Tripp said matter of factly. He didn't move, his eyes giving away no emotion or clue to his thoughts.

"Ciara, Tripp was trying to -"

"Do me a favor, Claire, and shut the hell up." Ciara snapped, as Claire had tried to step in between them. She immediately shrunk back.

"Tripp, how could you do this? And how could you lie to me like this, for months? How could you frame an innocent man?"

"Innocent? Innocent! I can't believe the way you defend this guy. He's a MURDERER, Ciara. 3 people are dead because of him. Abigail went crazy because of him. Will lost years of his life because of him. Does any of that matter to you?" Tripp snapped back.

"I know all of Ben's sins. We're talking about yours." She replied. Tripp rolled his eyes.

"You've been his puppet ever since your little cabin getaway. He's playing you and you can't even see it!" He scoffed.

"Puppet?! Do you really think I'm so naive? Ben has had plenty of chances to hurt me and he hasn't. He saved my life. He took care of me when he didn't have to. He told me over and over again that he didn't set that fire and I believed him - until the police found that can of accelerant."

"It doesn't matter about the can or not! The cops said it was suspicious. Just because there wasn't any proof doesn't mean he didn't do it, Ciara! I knew he was guilty and I had to protect you."

"So you became judge and jury and executioner, deciding Ben's fate based off of what, your feelings? That's all wrong and you know it."

"No, all I did was open your eyes. You just finally let yourself believe what you already know deep down - That everyone is right: Ben is dangerous. That's why it was so easy to convince you."

She stared at him in disbelief. "Wow, you sure did me a favor then. And you made sure of it, didn't you? Not only did you break the law by planting evidence, you reminded me every day what he'd supposedly done. I finally saw exactly what you wanted me to see in Ben. Someone who lies and manipulates and hurts people."

"That's who he is."

"Really? Because from where I'm sitting, with you lying to my face for months, manipulating me and lying about Ben every chance you got - The person I really needed protecting from was YOU."

"That's not..." Tripp scoffed in disbelief. "No, to hell with this! I am sorry if I hurt you but I'm not sorry I did it. If you want me to apologize for wanting to keep you away from that psycho, don't."

"And what about lying directly to my face when I asked you if you had anything to do with planting that can? Am I allowed to ask you to apologize for that?" She snarled, pushing his shoulder. Tripp didn't move or say a word. Her eyes suddenly focused on him differently, shaking her head. "Oh my god. The first night we slept together... you had already framed Ben. You looked me in the eyes and lied to me?!" Ciara's voice broke, Tripp finally had the decency to look away. "And then you reminded me every chance you had that Ben was exactly who you said he was. You knew proof was the only thing that would make me doubt him. And when there wasn't any you created it - You engineered everything. And I told you I wanted to be with you that night because I knew I could trust you," Ciara said in horror. She thought she might be sick.

Tripp's eyes started to bulge. He made an incredulous noise. "You're not actually saying I did it to get you into bed?! Ciara that is completely unfair and you know it." Tripp shook his head, moving away from her. Claire remained silently to the side. "I wasn't with you for any reason except I loved you. And you told me you loved me."

"Don't you dare try to turn this on me. I meant it when I told you how I felt about you. Even after I caught you with Claire, and everything I had overcome just to feel like a person who could even want to have sex with anyone - I wanted to be with you. And it was all based on a lie." Ciara said, eyes welling. She felt like someone had ripped her open, anger and betrayal flooded her.

"If you think I'm capable of something like that you don't know me at all." Tripp said sadly.

Ciara's eyes filled with tears. "I guess there we can agree. Because I never thought you could do something like this."

"I asked you how many times if you were okay? I never pressured you and you know it. I made sure that you felt comfortable and I said that we should wait. You accusing me of lying to get you into bed is bull, Ciara."

Ciara hardened again. "Fine. Maybe it wasn't all about sleeping with me. But it doesn't change the fact that we slept together based on a lie. A lie you kept going for months. You could have come clean at any time, and instead this is how I find out - You and Claire having a little therapy session in the park." She finally turned to Claire. "I guess I really shouldn't be surprised that you're in this too. Anywhere Tripp goes, you're never too far behind reminding him you're an option. So tell me - Where do you fit in, Claire? Did you plan it together?"

"Ciara, Tripp only did his because cares about you. He's just so worried about you and... well whatever it is you're doing with Ben." Claire was toying with her, and she knew it. Ciara rolled her eyes.

"Don't change the subject, Claire. Were you in on it from the beginning?"

Claire hesitated, looking to Tripp. "No. I just figured it out recently."

"I see." Ciara snapped her fingers. "Ah - the Wyatt thing does sound more like you, anyway." She paced between them slowly. "So you bribed someone who had nothing to do with any of this to cover up a crime Tripp committed? A crime that could've sent Ben to prison?" She asked. Claire again looked from her to Tripp.

"The police were zeroing in on Tripp. It was only a matter of time. They realized it wasn't Ben and needed someone else without going any further into it. So I just... asked Wyatt for a well-compensated favor, and he did it." Claire said breezily. Ciara shook her head, Tripp remained motionless.

"And I bet you were right there, ready to hold his hand through it all, right? You usually aren't too far behind me, waiting for a chance to undermine our relationship and have Tripp to yourself."

"You've been doing a pretty good job of that yourself, Ciara."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Claire gave a scoff. "After your little cabin adventure, you've been going around town singing the praises of the Necktie killer, then you invite him to live in our apartment? How do you think that made Tripp feel? Not to mention your little longing glances at each other. You don't care about Tripp at all, you know him and Ben are both competing for you and you love it."

Ciara's mouth fell open. "Spare me your little soapbox defense of Tripp's feelings, as if this is about anything but you. Admit it. You wanted Tripp, and you'd do anything to get him. Including help him frame Ben." Ciara stepped toward her, but Claire stood her ground.

"I will always be there for Tripp because unlike your precious Ben, he is a good person who deserves a second chance. He can count on me. And the truth is, when push comes to shove, you'll choose Ben. Admit it." She said with a slight smirk. Ciara glared back at her. They faced each other with their arms crossed, tension only building.

"My relationship with Ben is none of your business. And I was right to defend him - He was innocent of setting the fire. And you were going to make him collateral damage in your little quest to get Tripp? Are you really so pathetic?"

Claire scoffed. "Me, pathetic? Please. See, now I think I get it - somewhere along the way you actually did fall for Ben." Claire said with a giggle, stepping directly toward Ciara. "But you knew mommy wouldn't like that. So, you kept Tripp on the line, stringing him along while you made eyes at Ben. But the minute you heard he was guilty of the fire, you knew you really couldn't have him. So you finally caved and slept with Tripp. You couldn't have who you really wanted, so you hopped into the sack with Tripp to make yourself feel better. Wow. And they say I'm a bitch?" Claire taunted. Ciara's eyes widened, and before she knew it she'd slapped her. Claire recoiled back, grabbing her face. Tripp immediately separated them, pulling Ciara away from Claire.

"How dare you accuse me of something like that, you manipulative little,"

Claire was still holding her face. "I guess that answers that, doesn't it?" She shook off slightly and regained her composure. "So Tripp, how long till she finds Ben and throws you under the bus?"

"Ciara?! What the hell is going on here?" Ben came from the opposite end rushing over to Ciara, who was still being held back by Tripp.

"Good timing Ben! We were just talking about you. Weren't we, Ciara?" Claire taunted.

"You vindictive little brat!" Ciara shouted at Claire. Claire now was pushing against Tripp toward Ciara. Ciara had lunged for her, but Ben grabbed her arms from behind, as Tripp grabbed Claire, holding them back from tearing each other apart.

"That's enough out of you both!" Tripp shouted. Finally when they seemed to settle, Ben released Ciara.

"What the hell is going on, Ciara? Why are you and Claire two inches from ripping each other's head off?"

Ciara hesitated - Ben deserved to know the truth about who set him up. But she couldn't betray Tripp. Regardless of what he'd lied to her about, Claire was right about one thing - this would send him to jail.

"Just... roommate things. It got out of hand, but it's nothing." Ciara lied quickly. Ben scoffed, looking at Tripp.

"You're not a great liar, Ciara. But it's actually lucky that I ran into you, Tripp. Because I just had a very interesting encounter with Wyatt Stone." Ben said, his tone changing, looking to Claire and Tripp. "He told me all about how he got a sweet bonus from his buddy Claire for saying that he framed me for setting the fire."

Tripp looked at Claire, eyes narrowed in frustration.

"Now we all know that Claire sure as hell didn't plant that can, but someone else here has great motive. Don't you think, Tripp?" Ben asked, Tripp was pacing off to the side. "Why don't you face me like a man and admit it, instead of having little Claire here do your dirty work for you." Ben stepped toward Tripp.

"Oh I'd love to," Tripp immediately stood up straighter, almost nose to nose with Ben. "Hell no I don't deny it - I'm just sorry it didn't work! Just trying to restore some balance to the justice system by putting your crazy ass behind bars where it belongs."

"And far away from Ciara, right? Cause that's what you really care about, don't you? Maybe you just didn't like the way she looked at me?"

Tripp immediately shoved Ben in the chest, who fell back a few paces but quickly stood back up. Claire and Ciara immediately grabbed the men closest to them, Ciara held Ben's arm and Claire grabbed Tripp's.

"Ben, no! Tripp! Both of you, stop it!" Ciara shouted, in an almost immediate role reversal from just moments prior. She held onto his arm with both of hers and squeezed his bicep. He immediately pulled back, looking down at her.

"I could've gone to prison, Ciara. Do you understand that? I could've gone to prison, or worse for the rest of my life just because this guy wanted me away from you."

"I know that. I do. But it's over now. You're in the clear and so is he and... please. For me - let this go. Please, Ben?" She pleaded, still holding his arm. They looked at each other carefully. For the first time in months, she saw something in his demeanor that made her nervous. He was furious, she could feel him shaking beneath her. Instead of giving in to her own fear, she moved her hand up his inner bicep, and he turned his body away from Tripp and Claire almost immediately. "Promise me you'll let it go. For me." Ciara said, placing one hand on his chest. After a few moments she could feel him relaxing beneath her, his eyes anchoring themselves in hers. Finally, he nodded once and Ciara let him go, Ben went to go sit on the bench rubbing the back of his neck. Ciara walked back toward Tripp and Claire who had been watching them silently. Tripp looked shell shocked at what he had just witnessed, but Ciara was beyond caring. She looked to Claire.

"Are you proud of yourself?"

"Look, I really was trying to help Tripp. I thought Wyatt would keep his mouth shut and clearly i was wrong. I'm sorry."

"You could have gotten my mom - your grandmother - in real trouble. People actually thought she planted that evidence. She could have lost her job! Do you even care?"

"Of course I care! I didn't want anything to happen to Grandma Hope! I'm sorry, okay? And Tripp is too. Aren't you, Tripp?" Claire elbowed him slightly.

Tripp stood silently, arms folded. He had barely moved or uttered a word since Ciara had talked Ben down.

"Your mom getting in any trouble was never the plan. For that I'm sorry."

"Well I guess at least you're honest about that." Ciara said with as much sarcasm as she could muster. "How the hell are we supposed to get past this? How am I ever supposed to trust you again, Tripp?"

"I'm not talking about you and me in front of your psycho stalker."

"You're really going to stand here and call him names after he just let you off the hook? You should be thanking him!"

"Thank him? Thank him for what?! He doesn't have any proof and nobody would believe him anyway. No, you don't get an apology from me, Necktie killer. Not after everything you've done."

Ben scoffed and shook his head, running his hand through his hair. "Whatever you say, kid."

"Don't forget - I know the truth and I could just as easily tell my mom. You could at least act grateful."

"Grateful, Ciara? No, I don't think so. See it's all getting clearer now. There's been something going on with you and him ever since you got back from that cabin. The way you two are with each other. The looks and the bonding and the little moments at the loft. And then just now? Ciara it was like I didn't even exist. You didn't even try to see my perspective. It was like I wasn't even here," he said bitterly, shaking his head. She didn't say anything, replaying what had just happened in her mind. How easy it was, how right and natural it felt...

"So I'm going to ask you one last time, and try with the truth this time: do you have feelings for Ben?"

Ciara opened her mouth to speak, but knew anything she'd say to defend herself would be a lie. So instead she remained silent. For the first time that night she looked at Tripp with remorse.

He nodded slowly. "That's what I thought." Tripp said quietly, shaking his head.

"Tripp, we really should talk about this alone,"

"Why bother? There's nothing to talk about, Ciara. You have feelings for him."

"No, Tripp, I'm sorry but this isn't about any feelings I have for Ben. This is about you and me - and you lied to me, over and over. You manipulated me. I can't trust you. So I'm sorry but it's over." Ciara whispered, her eyes filling with tears.

"Yeah, you're damn right it is. And you can try to act like it's not about you and that lunatic but I know the truth. You're just too much of a coward to admit it to me. You know what? To hell with this." Tripp turned to leave, but stopped at the bench.

"Well, there you go, I guess you get what you wanted, don't you?"

Ben didn't even look at him. "Ciara hurting or in pain is never what I wanted. Follow your instincts and walk away, Tripp. You especially don't wanna be in my face right now." He said warningly. Tripp scoffed again and walked away. Tears streamed down Ciara's face, and Claire swayed on the spot, unsure of what to do.

"Ciara, I... I really am sorry." She said quickly, stepping to leave. She looked over at Ben.

"He really is grateful to you, even if he won't admit it. And so am I."

"It's not for you and it's sure as hell not for your pal Tripp. It's for Ciara. And for me - I'm not the villain anymore, and I'm not turning him in. This is over now. All of it." He said carefully. Claire's eyes flashed with understanding - he wasn't just talking about Tripp. She looked at Ciara without a word, and walked away.

Ben stood up carefully, walking toward Ciara. She had her back to him.

"Ciara, I'm so sorry. Do you wanna talk about it?"

She sniffled as softly as she could. "I think enough of my relationship issues have been on display for one night. I need to go." Ciara felt herself detaching from her emotions, into that place where she was safe, untouchable.

"Hey, Ciara," he'd reached for her arm and held it. But something in Ben's eyes stopped the pattern from taking hold inside her. She looked down at their linked arms and up at him - no, this couldn't happen this way. She gotten it so wrong with Tripp, again - clearly her instincts couldn't be trusted.

"No, I don't want to talk about it and I definitely can't talk about it with you. I need to go." He immediately let her go, and she walked quickly past him and out of the park. But, Ciara couldn't help feeling as she did that this time it wasn't working - instead of running away making her feel safe and in control, it felt now more than ever that she never would be.

-••••-


	5. Broken Records

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I simply couldn't bear to even attempt changing the first kiss scene and corresponding dialogue - i.e. "You are not too broken to be loved." And "Do you still want to run away from your feelings?" So for all intents and purposes, you can consider it canon and part of this story. Relive the magic here: https://twitter.com/croleydanielle/status/1085623636206202881?s=12 This chapter picks up a few days to a week afterward, just for a timeline. 
> 
> Thank you all so much for the lovely feedback, it truly is so encouraging. Additions and editing struggles have been the bane of my existence this week and I finally had some breakthrough just yesterday! So, look for another update quite soon 😘 Enjoy.

For the first time since he could remember, Ben walked into Horton Town Square unafraid to look someone in the eye. He was fresh off of Stefan DiMera hiring him as head of security for his estate, and agreeing to let him stay on the grounds. With a job and a place under his belt, Ben was on a mission to find Ciara and tell her. He'd try the Brady Pub first, though her uncle Roman didn't like him, he at least was seemingly rational. Maybe he could at least check for Ciara before getting screamed at to leave. But as he walked, the unmistakable mane of beautiful brown hair and leather jacket saved him the trouble. He smiled to himself, watching her pay and struggle to hold two coffees on top of each other. Ben couldn't help but laugh. Ciara turned, drinks in hand from the coffee cart and stopped.

"Need some help with that?" He said playfully. Ciara's eyes lit up upon seeing him, a sight he thought he might never get tired of.

"Hi." She said, erupting into a smile that he couldn't help but return. "Thanks, but I think I can manage. What are you doing here? Job searching? I didn't take you for the barista kind of guy."

"Actually it's funny that you mention that - I just came from signing the papers on my job, and grabbing things for the place that comes with it." Ben replied triumphantly. Ciara's eyebrows raised, shocked.

"You're kidding,"

"Not at all. Finally, after months I finally get a shot to do something with. So, given that I have that job and place we talked about... how about dinner?"

"Ben that is incredible! I would love that." Ciara beamed back at him. "What did you have in mind?"

"Are you free tonight? How about we meet in the square around 7?"

"Actually, sorry, I can't tonight. It's my first shift at the Brady Pub." She said with a slight curtsy, gesturing down at the telltale green apron. "Yeah, this coffee is for my uncle Roman, I'm actually headed there now."

Immediately Ben reached for the second coffee, as it was set to tumble out of her hands. "Well then, maybe I can walk you?" He said hopefully. She smiled again, nodding swiftly.

"I'm really excited you found a job, Ben. That's amazing. And a place, wow! See? I told you things would have to turn eventually." Ciara said, as they arrived all too quickly at the entrance of the pub.

"I should've known better than to ever try to argue with Ciara Brady,"

"Well I'm just glad you realized it now, so you don't make that mistake again. It'll save you some trouble down the road."

"Oh really? Well then. Miss always right - since you're not free for dinner tonight, what about tomorrow?"

"That sounds perfect. In the square? 7?"

"It's a date."

Ben beamed back at her, and she flushed slightly. The sudden color to her cheeks made him smile uncontrollably.

"I should get inside, I don't want to be late for my first day. Might get me a bad rep with the boss,"

"I can't imagine you having a bad rep with anyone. Especially at this place." Ben said simply, handing her the coffee.

"I guess you have a point there."

"See you tomorrow then,"

"Tomorrow."

Ciara swayed slightly on the spot but didn't move, and noticed Ben hadn't either. As they looked at each other that indescribable pull she'd felt starting at the cabin rose up in her. She also recalled how they had shared their first kiss feet away just days before... He had to be thinking of it too, right? Ben's eyes never left hers, intensity rising. Without thinking she moved toward him reaching for his collar, as he leaned reaching for her waist.

"Ciara," a gruff voice spoke from the doorway. "I was hoping you'd be on time so you could help me with the shipment coming this afternoon. Glad you made it."

Ciara's eyes closed, and she sighed slightly. "Hey, Uncle Roman. Yeah, I got your text." She pulled back and away from Ben, grabbing the coffee from his hand. He stepped back, the spell very much broken. "I brought this for you, too. As a thank you for giving me the job." She said with a smile, doing her best to divert attention. He didn't take his eyes off Ben.

"Well thank you. Why don't you run on inside, get situated. I'll be right in."

"Why don't we go together? You can tell me all about shipments." She said nervously.

"Inside, Ciara."

"Uncle Roman, I know what you're thinking,"

"Ciara, for your own good and my sanity will you go inside?"

"Fine. Ben, I will see you tomorrow." She turned back to Ben. He looked from Roman's cold probing stare to her bright, hopeful eyes and couldn't help but smile, nodding once.

"Tomorrow," he replied, causing a smirk from Ciara. She turned back toward Roman. "Please, just be nice. No matter what you've heard, since he has been back Ben has been nothing wonderful to me. Please try to remember that." Ben shifted uncomfortably, knowing whatever came next would be less than pleasant. Falling for Ciara and wanting a future with her meant the onslaught of hate from her family was part of the deal. And he knew in every part of his being: she was worth it. She looked back at Ben flashing a smile once more before going inside.

"Here we go," Ben thought to himself.

"I don't know what you think you're doing with my niece, but it's not happening. So if you're really whatever kind of man she thinks you are now, you'll walk away." Roman said clearly. Ben stood firm.

"I understand what you're saying, sir. I do. And in your position, I'd probably say the same thing to me. But I would never do anything to hurt Ciara."

"You mean besides set the fire that almost killed her at the cabin that you tried to torch Abigail and Chad in?"

"I was cleared of that,"

"You aren't clear of anything in my book, let's get that straight right now!" Roman hollered, stepping towards Ben. "You killed my grandson, and 3 other people. It's a miracle we got Will back, but you still took him from us. He'll never be the same after what you did,"

"And neither will I!" Ben shouted. "I hate what I did! I wake up with it every day, and I relive it every night." His voice broke, images of his crimes that were never too far away flashed in his mind as he said it. "Imagine only being able to watch as a monster who has your face does horrible things, and you can't do anything to stop it." He gasped for a breath, Roman stood in angry silence, seemingly unmoved.

"I don't expect you to believe it, and even if you did - I know it doesn't change anything that I did. But I pay for it every day. All I can say is that I'm not that man anymore. I was sick, but I got the help I needed, and now I'm not. Ciara believed in me when no one else even cared if I lived or died. Her belief in me means everything. I would never do anything to jeopardize that. Or her."

"I don't care what you think you can jeopardize or not. My niece isn't going to be collateral damage in your-"

"Uncle Roman!" Claire had burst in from behind Ben, breaking up the tense conversation between them. "So good to see you. I heard shepherd's pie is the special today?" She came a little too close to Ben, but it had the desired effect, Roman had backed off.

"Well, Claire. Good to see you." He said carefully, eyes still on Ben who was trying to recover his composure.

"Would you come inside and make me a coffee nudge? You know yours are my favorite," she said a little too sweetly, Roman chuckled slightly.

"I suppose. Come on in, we'll catch up." He said, turning for the door.

"Actually, Uncle Roman, I just need to finish a text to my dad, I'll be right in."

He nodded, turning one last time before entering the pub. "Tell him I say hi. Weston - You leave Ciara the hell alone." The door seemed to slam behind him, Claire turning on him.

"What the hell was that? You don't get in the face of a man who was a cop for 25 years, Ben! Hello?!" She said, eyes wide.

"I didn't get in his face. He told me to back off of Ciara and it got heated. What do you care anyway? Now that you've got Tripp all to yourself, you got what you wanted."

"Yeah well you and Roman getting into it isn't going to help your case with Ciara so figure it out. And besides, things with Tripp are, well," her face seemed to sour, and Ben understood.

"Oh I see. He didn't immediately jump to you after Ciara dumped his ass the other night." Ben said with a smirk. "Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy."

"Tripp just needs a little time, that's all. I am more than willing to be there for him through it. And don't you forget by the way, that I'm the reason you have a reason to fight with Roman at all. If it wasn't for our plan to break up Tripp and Ciara,"

"I told you from the beginning I didn't want any part of your little plan, Claire. So don't rewrite history. It wasn't our plan - it was yours. Your little tweaks and manipulations and me stupidly going along with it. And nothing even happened, so you trying to throw it in my face won't work."

Claire's eyes seemed to boil over. "Call it what you want - you've got Ciara now. So don't screw it up." She said curtly, walking away. Ben stared after her, rolling his eyes. At least now he was free of her. He pulled up his coat collar, the interaction with Roman still playing in his mind. He knew he wasn't good enough to even be in the same room as Ciara, but he was going to prove to himself and every one that her belief in him wasn't misplaced. He would prove he was the man Ciara believed he was, or die trying.

-••••-


	6. Feels Like The First Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains my interpretation of some events we've already seen play out: not stealing source material, just expanding on it 😊 plus some of the dialogue really is just too good not to incorporate. I'm also delving a little further into the dynamic of Stefan/Ben's relationship - it's fascinating to me. Also delving into a new character I call "Business Ben" who is pretty committed to kicking ass at his job... I think it's pretty hot. 😂 I hope you like it 😜 Thank you for reading and giving such amazing feedback and generally being the best shipper community a gal can ask for ❤

"It's as I told you, Mr. Weston, this is on a trial basis until you do something that even remotely displeases me. At which time I'll happily reinstate your position to town pariah and your residence to the Salem Mission." Stefan DiMera was clearly in a foul mood. It had been less than a week since he'd hired Ben as his head of security, and already this morning he'd found a way to be cross. Stefan stood motionless in front of the fireplace, staring at the flames. Ben did his best to swallow any annoyance in his tone. 

"I haven't forgotten. But you don't have to worry, I'm not going to do anything to make you have to. You giving me a chance to make any kind of a living isn't something I take lightly. Which is why, as you've asked, the grounds are secured for the arrival of your daughter. In addition, there are 2 new guards constantly monitoring and roaming the estate at 2 hour intervals, through the main house and the gardens. The new security system has been installed and the safes have been recoded, awaiting your thumbprint. Here are the new specs for the house and grounds." Ben spoke clearly, reaching into his jacket pocket and handed Stefan a small black envelope. He looked surprised. 

"You know you're not getting any bonuses for doing it this quickly?" 

"Yes sir, just doing my due diligence."

Stefan's eyebrows raised. 

"But I had hoped since my first task was done so quickly and above standards, I could have the night off." He didn't phrase it as a question... this was more than generous considering there was no one yet in the house to guard besides Stefan. 

"And the point emerges." He replied, turning to roll his eyes at Ben. "So tell me, what is it that's more pressing than your duties this evening, Mr Weston?"

Ben didn't move, knowing this was a test.

"If I didn't feel confident my duties were performed well above your standards, I wouldn't even ask. And the fact I'm asking at all means I'm building a system not dependent on one person alone.

"And why should that be comforting to me?

"Because one man who does everything above standard is good. Five is better." Ben urged. Stefan didn't take his eyes off him as he finished the scotch in his hand.

"You make a compelling argument, Mr. Weston. Only two things motivates a man like that: power or a woman. Does this have anything to do with the mystery girl you were so smitten with you asked for room and board before your first day on staff?" Stefan was toying with him, clearly already knowing the answer. 

Ben didn't react. He didn't trust Stefan enough yet to confide in him about Ciara, she was far too precious to be used as leverage with a DiMera. So, vague was still the best option. "It would give an opportunity for the new men to patrol the grounds without me micromanaging them. And it gives you less-"

"Save your breath – it's about the girl. Only because your performance is adequate so far, and not because of your forlorn platitudes – you can have the next 6 hours. I hope she's worth it." Stefan voice was dripping with sarcasm but Ben wasn't fazed.

"She's quite the girl." Ben said with a slight smirk. Stefan didn't seem amused, but he knew Stefan was partial to him already. The local town pariahs had to stick together, after all – there was no other option for either of them.

"But you're on call, and should you be called for any reason you will report back here immediately. Am I understood, Mr. Weston?"

"Absolutely sir. Thank you, sir." Ben did his best to contain his excitement, as Stefan shooed him with one hand and exited the room.

\---

"Chinese takeout in the park? This is definitely a first for me." Ciara said as Ben pulled blankets from his bag. They were in center of the town square park, the air felt as though it could turn to snow at any moment. 

"Well, since Doug's place was out,"

Ciara grimaced. "I'm really sorry about that. My grandmother was so out of line, refusing to seat us, and the way she talked to you,"

"Don't even worry about it, Ciara. I'm with you - Nothing is going to ruin this night for me.

She couldn't help but smile. "I'm honestly starving." He settled on the bench next to her, draping a blanket over both their laps. He tucked it under her legs slightly, causing a shiver.

"Oh that's right… you're crazy ticklish. I'm sorry," Ben said with a grin, indicating he wasn't in the slightest.

Ciara went crimson, she couldn’t believe a touch that small from him caused such a reaction. It was quiet between them as they ate.

"Seriously, I can't believe you remember me telling you that," Ciara said in between bites of her beef and broccoli.

"How can I forget? When I was washing your feet you nearly took my teeth out with that kick to my face!"

Ciara held in a laugh. Ben put his arm around the bench, leaning close to her. "Of course I remember. That was the moment I knew you trusted me."

She leaned in toward him, just a breath from his face. "I didn't understand it. But I couldn't stop myself. I knew I was safe with you." 

Ben's other hand went to her lap, and she placed her hands under his. "You are. Always." He whispered. 

She gazed back at him, her eyes full of warmth. "So. I didn't get to ask you about your new job the other day. Who ended up hiring you? I want to send them an Edible Arrangement or something." Ciara smiled. Ben's face dropped slightly. 

"You may not think so after I tell you," 

"What? Why? Who are you working for, Ben?"

He turned toward her, taking a breath, knowing this could be a fight. "I'm the new head of security for Stefan DiMera." 

Ciara seemed to freeze in place. "What?!" Her voice was barely above a whisper. 

"Ciara, hear me out, okay? I'm watching the grounds, guarding the estate. Protecting him when and if he travels for business. That's it." 

"Really? Because I know what kind of business the DiMera family does and so do you. Are you really going to try to tell me you're not some hired henchman?!" She stood up from the bench quickly, throwing the blanket backward. He got up after her. 

"Ciara, I'm trying to tell you-" 

"How exactly am I supposed to feel about you working for the DiMera's? And for Stefan, after all he's done to my family? To Abigail?" 

"You know I went through every part of this town trying to find any opportunity - it wasn't happening, Ciara. Not even dive bars wanted me to clean tables. This is an opportunity for me to actually do something to get my life back on track." 

"I know... I know you tried, all over town. But really, Ben? Stefan DiMera? He is despicable." 

"It's a chance, Ciara. That's all it is. I'm mostly just protecting the guy-" 

"Doesn't the fact that he needs protecting tell you something about who he is? He doesn't deserve it!" 

Ben sighed... This was not going well. 

"What's going to happen when he asks you to cross the line, Ben? Because you and I both know it's only a matter of time. And when it happens, you'll be the one who's doing his dirty work. You're okay with that?" She stepped toward him, her voice rising. He shook his head. 

"Of course not, Ciara. The first thing I told him is that I'm reformed - There are boundaries I will never cross again. I learned in therapy: setting structure for your life is the only way to control your behaviors. There are lines I won't cross for Stefan DiMera, or anyone else, and that's that." 

"But what are those lines, Ben? Knocking someone out? Getting physical with them? Hurting someone?" She asked, clearly horrified by the thought. Ben sighed, having asked all these questions of himself before taking the job but not having answers. Didn't she see? He had no choice. 

"Ciara, I need you to trust that I know my boundaries. And that I will abide by them. Not just for me, but for you." 

"And what does that mean to me, Ben? What happens when Stefan asks you to do something that takes you away from me?" Ciara asked intently, eyes full. Ben exhaled with relief, finally understanding. He stepped toward her immediately, hands reaching for her face.

"I don't want to lose you." Ciara whispered firmly. His hands rested over her ears, fingers in her hair. 

"Listen to me, okay? I promise you right now that I will never put what we have in jeopardy. I promise that you are my priority, no matter what. Ciara, you come first." He caressed her face, the tension between them alleviating. "I promise - I'm not going anywhere." 

"Good." 

They stood holding each other for a few moments longer, and she sniffed slightly. The cold air plus their charged conversation had clearly affected her. Ciara went to sit back down on the bench, and he followed, placing the blanket over her. 

"So, can we move forward from this? You and me?" He asked hopefully. She looked at him intently. 

"I won't lie to you - I don't like it. But it's your life. So if Stefan is the one who's giving you a chance to prove to everyone who you really are... I can accept it. For now. I trust you, Ben." 

Ben put his arm around the bench just behind her, leaning in. "You're amazing." Ciara smiled as his arm tightened around her.

"I'm glad that you recognize that." Finally the tension was leaving her voice, the air between them had settled. 

"Now, didn't we have some fortune cookies to break into?" He said playfully, trying to lighten the mood.

"I think so." She smiled, reaching into it from the takeout bag. "I've got mine, you go first." 

"Huh… 'Good things come to those who wait.'" 

"Ugh. I hate clichés like that. Don't you?" 

"Not if they end up being true." He said, rubbing her back slightly. Ciara smiled, reaching for hers. Looking down she couldn't believe what was in her hands. 

'Keep your guard up, not all is as it seems.'

Ciara's mind went blank - assuredly a fortune cookie couldn't be against her and Ben, too? 

"What's yours say?" He asked breezily, eyes content. Ciara refused to let a stupid cookie ruin their night.

"It says that the next part of my date will begin with a kiss." She said somewhat innocently. "Maybe you could help me with that," she leaned toward him, and he immediately brought his arm around her shoulders pulling her into a kiss. His other hand cupped her face, and she brought her hand up to his arm, holding it in place. She felt him tilting his head and couldn't help but reciprocate, wanting to pick up where they had left off the other day when Rafe had broken them up in front of the pub. Ciara could feel the tension from their conversation melting away and instead was fusing them closer together as they kissed. But all too soon he pulled back, gazing at her. 

"Hang on. Did you say next part of the date?" 

She laughed. "I did say that, didn't I? Well you handled dinner, I thought it was only fair I take care of dessert." 

"And here I thought that's what the fortune cookies are for? 

"For dessert we're going away from Chinese - and back more to your roots, Mr. Ozark." Ciara said cryptically, standing and reaching for his hand. Ben's eyes narrowed. 

"You're really not going to let me live that one down, are you?" 

"Not for a while, no." She said with a smirk. He leaned into her without even thinking, his face tantalizingly close. He lingered there for a minute, looking at her lips. 

"Alright well, I am officially intrigued." 

Ciara stood up from the bench with clear excitement, stretching her hand toward him. "Come on, I'll lead the way." Ben grabbed her hand, his eyes warm as she interlocked their fingers and they turned to leave. 

\---

"Breaking and entering on the first date - that's pretty next level stuff." Ben said softly as Ciara fished her keys out of her purse. They were in front of the Brady Pub, but the lights were off - it was clearly closed. 

"That implies I don't have permission to be here. And my name is very clearly on the door. Plus I have a key," she said with a smirk. Ben smiled. 

"So, since we're *not* breaking into the Brady Pub at 10 o'clock... what are we doing exactly?" 

The door swung open and Ciara stood in the entryway. "Only one way to find out," she grabbed his arm, pulling him inside. Ciara quickly darted toward the back, as Ben carefully closed the door, making sure the curtains were drawn. Suddenly a soft lighting came on, and Ben turned to find a table set just to the left of the bar. On it was a large, circular cake display with a sheet over it that Ciara stood next to with a gleam in her eye. 

"Okay so confession time: I may have googled popular foods from where you grew up." She quickly pulled away the towel on top of the glass casing to reveal what looked to be a pastry of some kind.

Ben smirked slightly, examining the dessert. "Is that blackberry cobbler?!" He said with slight astonishment. 

"Yes. And full disclosure, I've never made one, so if it's terrible..." she shrugged. 

He looked at the case and dessert inside with wonder. "You made this for me?" He said quietly. 

"Yeah! Well… looking at the different desserts I just sort of guessed what you might have liked -" 

"You guessed perfectly. It's my favorite. I can't remember the last time I had it." 

"Well, sit. I'll cut us some." He sat at the barstool nearest to her, taking off his jacket. "So... this is the thing where you're from?" Ciara asked with a smile, going behind the bar.

"My mother used to make the best cobbler in 3 counties, and blackberry was always her favorite." Ben said, his tone an edge more somber. Ciara took the slicer to cut a piece for him, staying silent. She waited for him to continue - he had never brought up his mother. "We never had a lot of sweets in the house, and we couldn't afford to have candy just lying around. But in the summertime, we had blackberries as far as the eye could see. Jordan and I would run up and down the patch, eating till we were so full we'd just lay on the ground," Ben smiled to himself, clearly recounting a fond memory. 

"That sounds nice. I can almost see you as a kid, purple mouth and all." Ciara smiled, handing him a plate. 

"We'd eat till we couldn't move, but only after we'd picked hundreds for my mother's cobbler. Jordan never had much patience for cooking, but I loved helping her make it. She'd let me press the dough, and she'd always sing to herself as we baked together." Ben tentatively took a small bite. Ciara smiled as she watched him, she hadn't moved listening to him recount memories of his mother for the first time in who knew how long.

"Ciara, I can't believe you made this." He said after a few moments. She smirked. 

"I told you we were a donuts family! Baking is in my Horton blood." Ciara said triumphantly. "So... do you like it?" 

Ben looked down at his nearly empty plate. "Considering I ate 4 bites in the last 30 seconds, what do you think?" 

"Really?! Oh Ben, I'm so glad you like it! I've never actually made a cobbler before." Ciara said carefully, coming toward him around from the bar. He'd finished his plate by the time she reached him, swinging the barstool to face her. 

"I loved it, I can't thank you enough. I haven't had blackberry cobbler that good since I was a kid." 

"I will take that as a compliment, it sounds like you have high standards for it." 

"You should, because I do." He smiled, leaning toward her. Ciara did the same unconsciously, leaning against his knees slightly. She looked at him intently.

"Thank you," 

Ben's eyebrows raised. "For what?" 

"For having Chinese in the park with me. For telling me about your mom. For tonight. It's everything I wanted." Ciara said quietly. 

He carefully stood up, his hands reaching for hers. One settled on her waist, and he softly brought the other to her face, pushing back some of the hair that had fallen forward behind her ears. Ciara shuddered slightly. "It's you I should be thanking. For breaking in here, for making me that cobbler, and for agreeing to go out with me at all. I know it's only our first date but, Ciara, I need you to know that this, being with you... it means everything to me."

Ciara leaned into his hand, feeling the nerves pooling in her stomach. "There's nowhere else I'd rather be and no one else I want to be with right now more than you, Ben." He tugged her hair slightly, causing her head to dip to the side. Suddenly the air between them felt like it was charged, she looked into his eyes and felt the intensity rising. Finally, unable to take any more, she reached for his collar and pulled him to her.

His lips were slightly sweet from the cobbler, it made Ciara smile. His hand tightened at her waist and hair, she then held his wrists softly, holding him to her. She could feel he was holding back, and frankly so was she. But the soft, gentle way he kissed her made her heart skip a beat. This was the Ben she knew, this was the man he was now. Good, kind, considerate. Gentle. Absentmindedly her hands went down to his waist, pulling him closer to her as they kissed. Just as she felt her self-control might be waning his phone vibrated in his pocket. Ben pulled back, his eyes warm and full. 

"I'm sorry, I have to, I promised I'd be on call and I've already ignored it three times," He whispered quickly, and she nodded once. He smiled slightly, giving her a quick kiss on the forehead as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. He turned his back to her to answer the call. "Yes, sir." He answered roughly, clearing his throat. Ciara smiled at the thought that maybe she was effecting him the way he was her. "Right now isn't the best -" he was clearly cut off, and she could hear a man's voice on the other end of the line shouting. "Of course. I'm on my way." Ben said, admitting defeat. He turned back toward Ciara, clearly worried.

"I'm so sorry babe, but I have to go. 

"Is everything okay? Did something happen?"

"There was some sort of incident at the mansion. Stefan wants me back there ASAP."

"Like a break in?

"I don’t know, but I'm going to find out. I'll text you." He grabbed her hand and kissed it. Ciara nodded briefly as he quickly turned and was out the door. All in a span of less than 30 seconds and he was gone. She looked around the empty pub, putting her hand on her lips, heat and disappointment running through her simultaneously. It wasn't exactly as she had planned on the night ending.

Suddenly from behind, there was a hand on her waist spinning her around. Ben grabbed her face with both hands, and pulled her into a deep kiss. She was caught so off guard, her arms hung suspended in the air until after a moment they found his waist yet again, pulling him close. Ciara felt his tongue gently touch hers, causing her legs to turn to jelly beneath her. And again, all too soon he pulled away.

"Have dinner with me tomorrow?" He said, his voice gravelly. Ciara gasped for air.

"Okay," was all she could manage. He flashed another dazzling smile. "It's a date." Ben said triumphantly, kissing her lightly once more and leaving her swaying on the spot. He grabbed his jacket from the barstool and flashed one more grin at her as he left. She shook her head slightly, in utter bewilderment. 

It definitely wasn't how she'd planned the night on ending. 

It was better. 

-••••-


	7. Hostile Work Environments

Ben marched into the security control room, immediately sitting in front of the monitors displaying the live feeds. Going to the master screen, he went back 30 minutes. The motion sensors in the new security system he'd had installed on the grounds had detected an intruder. Even more puzzling was where: it had been tripped outside the guest house - his new residence.

"What the hell?" Ben said to himself. Going back to the exact time stamp he'd received he reviewed the footage. And sure enough there was what appeared to be a man - dressed in a long trench coat. He was clearly destitute, he wore fingerless gloves that were tattered and his hands and face were excessively dirty.

"Gotcha," he thought out loud.

The only downside was that his face never looked directly at the camera, even as he faced the front door to the guest house. The man stood still on the spot, not seeking to enter or even moving. Ben looked at the timestamps - for a full 3 minutes he'd stood motionless.

"What in the hell?" Ben said to himself again. Watching, finally the man turned to nearly face the camera - to Ben's dismay it was covered in dirt, and the angle made it so eye recognition was impossible. Freezing the image, he enhanced it as many times as he could. Though he couldn't see the man's eyes, something cold went through Ben. What was the point of reaching your intended destination only not to enter?

Ben un-paused the video - moments after facing the camera one of the guards came upon him. He moved faster than even Ben gave him credit for being able to - this man was clearly young. He attempted to tackle him but they struggled, the homeless man pulled something from his pocket and struck the guard, causing him to fall on the ground unconscious. He then went back toward the edge of the grounds, exiting to the long drive in a dead sprint. Ben rewound and zoomed back - the item in the man's hand was a syringe. Moments later one of the new guards came into the control room.

"Mr. Weston, we did exactly as you instructed. The grounds have been monitored exactly to your requests. We contacted you as soon as we saw the detection."

Ben stood up, nodding. "Really? Clearly someone didn't, otherwise this lowlife never would've gotten on the property!" He said harshly. The guard looked away and back.

"Mr. Weston, he came out of nowhere,"

"So what, he's a ghost? I'm imagining this guy standing on my doorstep for almost 5 minutes and then disappearing into the ether?" Ben paced on the spot. "Where's Rosco? Is he still knocked out? I want to talk to him. Maybe he got a look at this guy."

"One of the house staff took him to the ER. He wouldn't wake up."

"I want updates on him. And I want to know how the hell this guy got into the grounds."

"We have no idea,"

Ben stepped toward the guard with as much menace he could. His position had authority and he knew he needed to assert it - but he didn't want it to get physical. Especially considering his argument with Ciara tonight. "Is THAT what you're going to tell Mr. DiMera?"

"I'd like an answer to that myself." A deadly voice said from behind Ben.

Ben froze. He didn't dare look behind him, but snapped his fingers at the guard, who's face had gone white at the sight of Stefan and being inches away from Ben. "Recheck every entrance and exit - and then do it again. Someone was on the grounds tonight and I want to know how and why. Yesterday. Do it now."

The guard quickly left the room, and Ben turned toward his boss. He sighed, irritated and frustrated that just a few days on the job something was happening he couldn't yet explain to Stefan.

"Go to the guest house and collect your things. Save any explanations, you're fired." Stefan stated clearly. Ben's eyes widened.

"Hang on a second,"

"I told you, Weston, one chance. You blew it."

"Blew it? I knew about this even before you did. I've got a picture of the guy and I'm going to figure out exactly who he is. The new security system has facial recognition. Plus we're going to seal off any entrances not including the main house. He didn't even make it near the main grounds before my guys caught him, only the guest house."

"Those are your quarters. Are you saying this is a friend of yours from the homeless shelter? Here for a visit?!" Stefan bellowed, shoving the chair in front of the monitor into the wall. "You were overconfident and sloppy. Had you been here,"

"This guy drugged one of the guards with something so strong it knocked him out instantly. He's no amateur."

"How is any of this supposed to make you look any less incompetent? Maybe I'm missing it." Stefan snorted.

Ben thought quickly. "Mr. DiMera it was at your request that a new security system was installed today."

"I'm sure you're not suggesting this was my fault,"

Ben continued without even blinking though that was almost exactly his point. "Since the old system was removed there were not only potential gaps in the feed footage but also dozens of strangers on the grounds today - installing new equipment, motion detectors, the safes. This guy could've easily snuck in at any time, hours ago."

"So your incompetence has been going on all of today? How reassuring!"

"What I'm saying is that this guy wasn't here just perusing the grounds. He came prepared to knock anyone out who got in his way. He didn't break in or take anything - he was making a statement. This was planned." Ben reasoned out loud, and as he did he knew he was onto something. Stefan's eye's even seemed to click with recognition. "Give me 72 hours. I will find out what happened and I will secure the estate to new heights. And if I don't... You can get rid of me." Ben offered, his brain racking itself to figure out how he would solve this in that timeframe. Stefan seemed to consider it, stepping closer to him. He pointed at Ben, his finger pushing into his chest roughly.

"My wife and daughter are arriving here in 48 hours - I won't have them coming home to anything less than a fortress. That's how long you have to solve this."

"I thought Abigail was committed in Bayview,"

"She was, but Gabby is back in control. For good this time. And we're finally going to have the life we've always wanted. 48 hours, Mr. Weston. I suggest you make use of it, before I find someone else to relieve you." He spat, leaving the room. Ben sighed, throwing himself down in the chair. It was going to be a long night.

-••••-


	8. Dangerous Woman

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is one of my favorites in the story, I hope you enjoy it. We're just about at the halfway point (I think, who knows lol) and so these last few chapters have been a decent amount of filler... this is a turning point. Thank you all for continuing with me on this writing journey, it's really so fun and stretching. I can't overstate how all of the kind feedback helps us as writers. 
> 
> This chapter is dedicated to Russ, because even though he breaks my balls about updates, I love that dude. 😂

It had been almost a full 24 hours and Ben hadn't slept. He'd poured over every piece of footage from every angle - aside from the initial view, the identity of the man in the footage was a mystery. Ben knew should face facts - he may not solve this. Stefan was furious, the fact he'd given him time to figure it out at all was a miracle. Anyone else would've fired him on the spot, and with good reason. After all, the whole idea of him as head of security was always a stretch. He stood up from the chair, pushing it behind him with a little too much force. He didn't want to blow his first chance at a living, but this ill-timed break in may just have done it. Was this more payback for his past?

He walked out of the control room to head to the guest house, utterly defeated. Ben shuffled his feet, wondering how long it would take to pack his things, and what he would do after.

\---

Ciara stood awkwardly at the large front doors, her leg unable to stop shaking. Even when she'd nannied for Chad and was here often, the DiMera mansion had always felt intimidating to her - or at least, it never felt comfortable. Maybe it was because Stefano's presence always lingered, always felt dark and full of secrets. But, Ben had cancelled their date via text and hadn't responded when she'd asked if everything was okay - it wasn't like him not to communicate. So, here she was. Ciara took a deep breath and rang the bell, it's decadent chime deafening. She expected a random servant, or another version of Harold, the butler she remembered. But as the door opened, she instead found herself staring into the dark eyes of Stefan DiMera.

"Ciara Brady. What a pleasant surprise. My brother and wife speak highly of you," Stefan quickly stood up from the chair, reaching his hand toward her. "I don't think we've been formally introduced. I'm-"

Ciara crossed her arms. "I know exactly who you are. You took advantage of my cousin when she was in the middle of a DID relapse. Then you did everything you could to make her alters come out so you could have your imaginary girlfriend back permanently. I don't want your fake manners and I certainly don't want to shake your hand. So save your breath." Ciara stepped past him and walked directly into the living room. Stefan followed, looking amused.

"I can see the sanctimonious Brady complex I've heard about hasn't been exaggerated." He said, a little too sweetly. "Your facts are a little off."

"I doubt that. Let's get one thing straight - your sham of a marriage to Abigail and being Charlotte's father doesn't make us family. And I'm not here to talk to you. I'm here to see Ben Weston."

"Well, he is indisposed at the moment."

Ciara didn't move, folding his arms. "Doing what exactly?"

At this, Stefan actually laughed. "Oh come now, miss Brady. Why would I tell you of all people any of my personal dealings? Especially after just now, with how blatantly and in detail you've explained your dislike for me. He's working. And your grandstanding makes me wonder - what exactly has my current head of security told you about his position here?" Stefan stepped toward her carefully, his intent was to intimidate.

Ciara's stomach dropped slightly - she couldn't stand Stefan, but she didn't want to jeopardize Ben's livelihood. Even though she hated it, he had to stay in Stefan's good graces, for now. And clearly something wasn't right.

"If he's working I'm not going to interrupt. I just wanted to leave something for him in the guest house."

"One of the guards can escort you to his quarters and then you can leave. Your boyfriend isn't exactly wowing me with his performance at this point." Stefan rolled his eyes, turning away from her, going to sit at the desk. Ciara's mind went into overdrive - this was the reason he'd cancelled their date. Something had gone wrong the other night he'd left the pub. She leaned toward Stefan slightly, changing her tactics.

"You know, Ben is putting a lot into working for you. And he's putting himself on the line to do it. So whatever's going on... If you're really not as bad as everyone says you are, you could try to remember that."

Stefan looked over at her, eyebrows raised. "I'm not in the usual practice of second chances, miss Brady. So as impassioned a defense of him I'm sure this would be,"

"What I mean is - Ben is really smart. And capable, and resourceful, and loyal. He's defended you to a lot of people. My whole family who hates him, my mom, and to me. And you know how people in Salem already feel about him. So whatever's going on, you should remember that he may be your only ally in this town."

At this he seemed to pause. "I can see why he's so taken with you. So much fire and loyalty in such a lovely package." He said, making Ciara's stomach crawl.

"Don't try to flatter me. You may be Ben's boss, but I don't have to like you."

He raised his hand in a placating gesture, a small chuckle leaving his throat. "I sincerely apologize if I offended you. That wasn't my intention. And in the name of making peace with my daughter's family, I hope you accept it."

Ciara unfolded her arms, confused. His tone was seemingly sincere. "So is Ben here?"

"As I said, he is indisposed. Trying to tighten up security before my daughter comes home tomorrow." Stefan added.

"Charlotte is being released from the hospital?" Ciara said hopefully.

"Yes. She'll be here tomorrow."

"That's wonderful." She replied. He smiled slightly. An awkward silence enveloped the room. "Well, I'll just go to the guest house, then... To drop off what I have for Ben." She turned to leave quickly, before being forced to endure anymore small talk. Stefan was a known liar, condescending, and above all - dangerous. But at mention of Charlotte he seemed to soften. It confused Ciara - for now she still didn't trust him.

Reaching the front of the guest house she looked down to the door to realize it was locked not just with a deadbolt but a key code. She sighed heavily - her plan to surprise Ben was backfiring all over the place.

"Ciara?" A voice called from behind. Ben emerged in what appeared to be the same outfit from the night before. Though a smile stretched across his face at the sight of her, he looked haggard.

"Ben? Oh my gosh, you look,"

"Awful, I know. I've been working all night. I was just coming to take a shower and try to sleep a little. I was going to call you after and explain why I had to cancel tonight,"

"I'm not here to give you the third degree, just to see if you wanted to grab lunch instead." Ciara said with a sad smile.

Ben reached around her to key in the 5 digit code to the front door. "I'm sorry babe. I have to get this project done. My ass is on the line." He motioned her through the open door. Walking in she looked around the house - it was very open, a kitchenette to the right, a small bathroom to the left. There was a desk on the righthand side of the wall, and a large, clearly antique and ornate bed. Ciara went to sit on the ottoman at the end.

"Nice place."

"Definitely an upgrade from the homeless shelter. But I'm going to have to move already if I can't figure this out. Today." He sighed, stepping into the bathroom with a t-shirt, she assumed to change. Ciara knew he was preoccupied with whatever was going on, so she tried not to be distracted by the fact that he was stripping just one room over.

"Yeah, I just had an interesting conversation with Stefan. He didn't seem too pleased with you. What happened? Is this about the other night?" He had come out of the bathroom, shaking his head.

"Yes. Someone managed to get on the grounds, and knocked out one of the guards who caught him with some kind of drug."

"Oh my gosh... Did he steal anything?"

"No, that's the weird part. He stared at the house for a few minutes, took out a guard and ran off. I can't seem to figure out where the hell he came from. And the best part? Stefan gave me 48 hours to figure out who the guy is and why, and I'm nowhere even close to being able to see his face. Ciara, I could lose my job over this." Ben ran his hands through his hair, wringing his neck slightly. She stood up and moved toward him. Reaching her arms around his neck, she pulled him into a hug. He wrapped his arms around her waist, burying his face in her shoulder. Ben breathed deeply, kissing her neck once. She pulled back slightly, looking at him intently. His arms rested around her back, holding her close to him.

"I'm sorry."

"I just wish I knew where to go from here. All I know is, it can't be a coincidence. This guy wanted something. And I can't help but think it has to do with," Ben cut himself short.

"What?" Ciara asked. He remained silent. "Ben. Has to do with what?"

"Me. He was staring at the guesthouse. He didn't move, just staring at it. it's like he was transfixed by it."

Anxiety creeped into Ciara's mind. "Who would do something like that?"

His hands tightened around her waist. "I have no idea. But I have to find out." He released her, walking over toward the desk.

"Well... Maybe you need a fresh set of eyes. Maybe I can help you."

Ben hesitated. The less Ciara knew about his job the better. "No, Ciara. I don't want you anywhere near this. Especially when I don't know who this guy is or what he wants. I'm on thin ice right now as it is."

"Ben, you need help. I may not like that you work for Stefan but this is serious. Anyone who comes into the property of a huge mansion like this and doesn't take anything sounds more than suspicious, and definitely pre-meditated to me." Ben's eyebrows raised. Ciara shrugged slightly. "I'm the daughter of two cops, and the little sister of a forensics expert... Remember?"

He grinned in spite of himself. "How could I forget?"

"All the more reason to let me help you."

"Ciara, I don't want you anywhere more near this than you already are."

"Oh, come on. Together we can crack this. Let's do it." Ciara said with a smirk, walking over toward him. Ben couldn't help but return it - only Ciara could make him feel optimistic at this moment.

"Fine, you win. The feeds from the day are over there, just open the computer. On the right is the photo we got of the guy." He started to follow her to the desk, but Ciara put a hand on his chest.

"I'll take the laptop - you go shower."

"What?"

"You haven't slept. I'm sure you haven't eaten. You're going to at least shower so you can have a moment to recover. I'll get started and you can come help me when you've had a minute away from all of this." Ciara urged him. Ben's eyes looked exhausted, clearly he was beyond arguing.

"Are you su-"

"Shower. Now." Ciara ordered, pushing him toward the bathroom. He smiled and threw his hands up.

"Fine. 5 minutes and I'll be back. Just to clear my head." Ben finally agreed, grabbing a change of clothes out of the dresser adjacent to the bed. Ciara smiled as she walked over to the desk where his computer was. Sitting down she grabbed the photograph. Studying it carefully, something sank in her. She didn't think she recognized him, but something about him almost seemed familiar... she couldn't place it. No one she could think of past or present looked like the man in front of her. She shrugged away anything her mind might conjure that could distract her from helping Ben.

Pulling up the footage, she saw him standing in front of the guest house. Ben was right, he didn't move. He didn't reach for the door, move, or do anything at all - it was bizarre. It was the behavior of someone fixated. She'd remembered Marlena talking about fixation in therapy. How someone who was seemingly normal at one point could be so focused on an outcome they could become obsessed... after what had happened to her she had studied it, she needed to understand how it was possible. Who was this person, and could he be after Ben? The thought made Ciara's blood run cold.

The bathroom door opened and a breath of mist came with it as Ben exited, breaking her from her own thoughts. Looking over, Ciara could see his profile headed to the dresser. She did her best not to notice the clean white t-shirt and gray joggers he'd put on. She could smell his body wash from where she sat.

"Alright, detective Brady. What do you think?" His voice was noticeably brighter.

"I think that shower did wonders for you. Or maybe it's just the company you have." Ciara smiled at him. He knelt beside her, leaning his arm against the back of her chair. He smelled so impossibly good that without thinking she leaned her head against his arm. Ben smirked at her, nudging his forehead against hers.

"So you **did** just come to be a distraction," he whispered, and she didn't miss the heat in his voice. It made her stomach plummet somewhere into the floorboards, and she rested her chin against his arm.

"That depends, is it working?"

Ben didn't answer but looked at her mouth, slightly biting his lip. He cleared his throat loudly, trying to break the spell.

"I really should,"

"I know. Let's solve this mystery, shall we?" Ciara sat up, trying to get a handle on herself. What was it about him that made her so quick to be want to be reckless? She shook her head. "Okay. So we have to find this guy. But we can't do facial recognition. And we don't know when he actually came on the property."

"So far, so accurate. I've got a lot of nothing. I've got some homeless guy wearing a giant trench coat so I can't see his build. He's wearing fingerless gloves, but that does me no good if he didn't touch anything. And even if I could see his face, it's covered in dirt and his hair is practically matted."

But maybe it wasn't his face that was the answer.

"The gloves. That's it, Ben."

"What do you mean?"

"You can't check facial recognition. But no one tries to hide their hands from the camera. Don't try to look for a face, look for gloves. Maybe he wore them throughout the day. Or in another room of the house."

"What if he didn't?" Ben countered. Ciara's brow furrowed.

"I know. But it eliminates something at least. He had to have been somewhere else on the property today. It's a needle in a haystack, but,"

"It's a haystack." Ben finished her thought, pulling out his phone. "I can look at the feed on this too, they're connected. You focus on the main house, the safe guys. There were less than a dozen of them." Ciara nodded once, quickly finding what she needed. 7 men wore the uniforms of the safe company, weaving in and out of the main rooms. Her heart dropped as she saw all of them wore black gloves.

She sifted through the footage carefully when finally she saw one man who stood out from the rest. He had longer, more disheveled dark hair just past his ears. He never interacted with the other men from the same company... it didn't make sense.

"Ben, look at this."

He immediately came over to the laptop. "What is it?"

"This guy. He never talks to the others. See how everyone seems to be doing something specific but him? It's like he follows them. Does Stefan make you do background checks on everyone who does installations like these?"

"Of course. All of these guys were cleared and approved."

Ciara's face fell slightly. "This guy just seems out of place." Suddenly Ben grabbed the screen, backtracking it.

"Wait, no. The safe company told me that they were sending 6. 6 guys. All background checked and fingerprinted. There's 7 uniforms. One of them shouldn't be there," he rewatched the footage Ciara had and compared it to the footage in front of the guest house.

"His hair and clothes are different... don't ask me how." Ben paused his phone and the computer at the same time. "But that's him." Ben's voice raised with excitement. Showing Ciara the screens, an almost mirror image was in front of her - the left profile of the intruder, unmistakably the same person. "And look at his gloves, Ciara!" He fast forwarded, they watched as the man was carefully pulling the fingertip off of his gloves, and when the room was empty was attempting to use his thumbprints to open the safe.

Ben had been wrong, it had just been an elaborate break in attempt. He worked quickly, trying to hit the safe in the living room. But, Ben knew by the time stamp it was already too late - Stefan would've already set all the codes on all of the safes. The man realized it himself within seconds after, he slammed the portrait shut and darted outside out of sight. Ben shook his head in disbelief, and Ciara smiled at him. A quick stroke of her fingers and the recognition software found a match to other areas he'd been on the property that night. "All we have to do is find one good picture of him looking at us," Ben smiled back at her.

"I can do better." He said, pulling out his phone and dialing quickly. "This is Ben Weston of DiMera enterprises. I'm sending you over very compelling security footage of one of your employees attempting to break in to one of our house safes." Very quickly there was high pitched voices on the other end of the call, and Ben winked at Ciara. She grinned, shaking her head slightly.

"Unfortunately, this incident has Mr. DiMera greatly troubled about the professionalism of your company. He'd like to know the identity of this person so he can press charges. I'm sending over that footage, I need a positive ID of everyone on the property today, fingerprints and a dossier. You have 2 hours, or he goes public with the story of your employees trying to defraud your customers, and I'd say that's highly generous." He ended the call with grin stretching across his face. Ciara was transfixed watching him handle it - and without any threat of violence, not a hint of anything that could endanger him. Not to mention his assertive side was a huge turn on.

"Ciara, this is it! Oh my god, I can't believe this," Ben said excitedly. "I get to keep my job because of this. Because of you. You did it," Ben said happily, looking down at her. Pride beamed through her for him, and for what they had accomplished together.

" _We_ did it," Ciara grinned back at him. Ben leaned down toward her again.

"What would I do without you?" Ben's eyes were so bright and full, it made her heart swell. He kissed her, one hand gently holding her face. Ciara immediately grabbed the collar of his shirt, pulling him closer. Ben's hand went under her jaw, tipping her face up to his. Quickly she was unsatisfied with their position - he was too far away.

Standing up, Ciara clung onto his neck, Ben's hands slid down her back as he kissed her softly. Together they stumbled toward the bed, she kicked off her shoes as they kissed. Ciara's hands went to his still wet hair, running through his scalp. He smelled clean, as she breathed in his scent made her dizzy. As they reached the bed he guided her to sit, resting against his legs against her knees as he stood in front of her. She guided her hands from his shoulders down to his stomach, feeling all the way down. He breathed deeply as she did, and she felt a shudder under her hands - it made her smile. Ben looked down at her, resting his hands over hers.

"Ciara, maybe we should," his voice was quiet but gravelly. She silenced him by tugging at his shirt, pulling him down into a kiss as he quickly sat on the bed next to her. Ben wrapped his arms around her, pulling her nearly on top of him. Both of his hands immediately delved into her hair, something she quickly knew she would never grow tired of. His mouth was urgent, and at the touch of his tongue to hers she hummed against his lips. This seemed to have an immediate reaction on Ben, his hands tightened on her scalp, and hers slipped under his shirt, clinging to his broad shoulders.

The skin on skin contact finally broke their lips apart, and he undid her blouse, latching onto her clavicle. Her hands wrapped behind his neck and he kissed every available area of skin his mouth could reach. Without thinking she was pulling his shirt up over his shoulders, and he quickly shrugged out of it, his eyes full of heat as he pulled her into a harder kiss, her tongue pushing it's way into his mouth. The urgency rising in Ciara alarmed her, she'd never felt this kind of reckless want before. All of the well crafted walls she had created to keep people away from her meant nothing around Ben. Instead of wanting to stop, she wanted to cross every boundary she could think of to let him as close to her as possible.

"Mmmm," she whispered, as his hands now rested behind her neck and at the base of her lower back, his fingertips pressing in as he splayed kisses below her chin and back up to seize her mouth again. It felt so impossibly good, she was dazed, unable to consider anything but what part of him to touch next.

Suddenly Ben took a sharp breath in and leaned his head sideways against her chest, not moving. Ciara froze as well, relatively confused. He leaned away from her.

"God, Ciara, I'm sorry. We can't do this." He spoke with his eyes closed, but didn't loosen his grip on her whatsoever. Ciara looked back at him dumbfounded.

"Uhhh... you kinda... you lost me there."

Ben shook his head slightly. "I... we can't. Not now." He said, and she didn't miss the bitterness in his voice. Even more confusingly his hands ran up and down her back, which wasn't really selling the idea that he wanted to stop. Almost on queue he carefully rotated her onto her side and then quickly stood up, his breathing labored.

"Ben, can you explain to me what's going on here? Because just now it seemed like you wanted to, well,"

"I do. Believe me, Ciara, I do."

"Then why are we talking?" Ciara finally sat up, scooting to the edge of the bed. She felt almost dizzy, the adrenaline leaving her body.

"I just don't think... I don't think it's the right... time." Ben replied, not looking at her. He stammered, unable to find the right words. He knelt down in front of her, placing one hand over hers as they rested on her lap. The other took her face in his hand. Suddenly she felt heavy, not wanting to look him in the eyes. "Ciara, do you understand how much you mean to me?" His voice was barely above a whisper, he looked down at their joined hands.

Ciara's eyes were inexplicably filing with tears as the unnamed emotion finally spilled out. "But you - you don't want me?" Rejection was flowing through her every vein.

Ben's head shot up, he scoffed as quietly as he could. "Ciara Brady, I want you more than anything."

"And I want you, Ben. So why are you stopping this?"

"I've told you this before and I meant it – you are the most important thing in my life. As much as I want you, and I do, believe me," His voice took on that husky quality that made her stomach plummet. "I don't want the first time we make love to be anything less than perfect. You deserve that much."

"Ben, I came here _because_ I want to be with you. I know exactly what I want." She said clearly, her thumb tracing his jaw. His eyes closed instantly as she touched him, she could feel him tremble.

"Ciara, being with you - It's not going to be because of a reaction to something else going on. Or because we didn't take our time. I've done it all wrong before and not given a damn. But what we have... Ciara, it's completely different. It's perfect." He held her hands tightly. "I'm not gonna ruin it no matter how damn beautiful you look. And no matter how much I want to wrap myself around you right now," Her stomach dropped as he spoke, the desire to touch him pulsating through her. "What I want more is to wake up with you tomorrow, and the days after that. But that isn't tonight."

He stroked the sides of her face with his fingers, and though every part of her wanted to fight him on it she knew he was right. What they had was different, more powerful than anything she'd ever felt. She wouldn't make the same mistake with Ben she'd made with Tripp. He was too important.

"You're right. I want it to be perfect, too. For both of us." Ciara said quietly, her hand caressing his face. He kissed her palm.

"Come on, i need to update Stefan so he doesn't try to kick me out, and then I'll take you home." He stood, grabbing both of her hands and lifting her to her feet. She smiled slightly.

"Trying to get rid of me before you change your mind?" Ciara said, one last half-hearted attempt at getting him to suspend his self control.

"Let's go with that," he said, his voice was bordering on husky, eyes moving down her figure. It made Ciara's blood run hot again. Ben looked her up and down only once before shifting on the spot to put his shirt back on and grab his jacket. Ciara smiled, the confirmation that he did want her was enough for this night. After all the obstacles they'd fought through just to get to this point - what they had was too precious to be cavalier with. Ben was right: Ciara didn't want the first time they made love to be happenstance. They would take the next step like they had taken all the prior ones - together.

-••••-


	9. This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things

Ciara exited the pub with a little too much excitement, the door slamming behind her. Her eyes were fixed on Ben, who was sitting on the bench directly in front of the pub, a wide smile stretching across his face. 

"Happy Friday," he said, holding a bouquet of dahlias. Ciara's mouth fell open. 

"Ben, these are absolutely beautiful, thank you. What's the occasion though?"

"I walked past a shop in the square and I couldn't stop looking at how beautiful they are. Kinda reminded me of you." Ben said with a breathtaking smile. Ciara's knees went wobbly beneath her as she tried to form a coherent thought. "I know most girls go for roses, but," 

Ciara shook her head slightly. "Not this girl. I love them, thank you." He grinned back at her.

"Dahlias are... special." Ben said as he leaned into her, taking one flower out of the bouquet and delicately putting it behind her ear. Ciara couldn't take her eyes off him and his careful movements, a smile spreading across her face. 

"Special, huh? How so?" 

"Well, according to the florist, they represent grace, kindness, and inner strength. I knew I had to get them for you."

"You did your research. But there's another reason they're special... they happen to be my favorite flower." Ciara smirked back at him. 

"What can I say? I'm just that good." He leaned down to kiss her lightly. "So, now that you're officially off work, how about dinner? At my place?" Ben asked carefully. Ciara's eyebrows raised. 

"A DiMera family meal? Not sure I'm up for that. We could grab takeout and go to the loft? As much as I'd love a repeat of our first date it's already a little cold for me," she shivered slightly, and immediately he took off his overcoat and put it around her. 

"Well, I meant, my place. As in the guesthouse. As in," Ben fiddled with the collar as he faceted the jacket, then looked away from her, suddenly quiet. 

"As in - just us? Alone?" Ciara asked hopefully. 

Finally his eyes met hers, and they were warm. Ben smiled. "That's what I was hoping." 

"I'd like that." Ciara replied simply. Ben looked at her in that way that made the nerves pool in her stomach. She quickly changed the subject. 

"A night off must mean Stefan has let up right? Have there been any more incidents at the mansion?"

"I don't know if he'll ever let up, but... No, no further issues. The guy just dropped off. Once he realized he wasn't going to be able to get off the property without any cash or valuables he vanished. I'm still trying to figure out the motive." 

Ciara frowned, deep in thought. Something didn't feel right. "Isn't that odd though? I mean it was clearly premeditated," 

Ben nodded. "I agree. I'm still waiting on fingerprints and background checks on all those guys. There's nothing so far, but Stefan has me running them through every database known to man. I'll find out soon enough. I'm not going to have to chase him down, he'll pop up again." His tone shifted a shade more dangerous, and Ciara smirked. 

"You know, this whole "business Ben" thing where you solve problems and strong arm security companies... it's kinda hot." She said, resting her hands on his chest. 

Ben's eyebrows raised. "Really?" 

She pulled on his collar. "Really."

He looked down at her, eyes suddenly ablaze. Ciara felt it too, the electricity that always seemed to be between them. He brought his hand to her hair, pushing it behind her ear. 

"I think you said something about dinner? Your place? Just us?" Ciara whispered, her heartbeat thumping so loudly in her ears she was sure he could hear it. 

"In a minute." Ben breathed back, eyes fixed on her mouth. Warmth and relief seemed to spread throughout her body when he finally kissed her, his lips and hands the perfect temperature. Ciara pulled him close beneath his jacket, his mouth opening to capture more of hers. He held her tightly with both hands, one hand on the small of her back and the other cradling her face. She felt that same urgency rising in her that she didn't fully understand, the need to be closer and closer to him radiated through her. 

Moments - or minutes, Ciara honestly didn't know which - later he pulled back slightly, looking at her without words. 

"Ciara," Ben whispered, slightly out of breath. She traced his chin with her fingers. 

"Yeah?" She breathed back. Ben smiled, and she quickly pulled his collar toward her to kiss him again. Suddenly something ripped them apart, and Ben was feet away trying to keep his balance. 

"You stay the hell away from my daughter!" Hope yelled, appearing from nowhere and turning back toward Ciara. 

"Mom! What the hell?!" Ciara shouted, moving away from her over to Ben. She reached to help him up, but he was already straightening his shirt. 

"Ciara, it's okay. I'm fine." He said, though his voice was off balance. 

"You're not going to be fine if you lay a hand on my daughter ever again." Hope warned. Ciara stepped toward her mother. 

"Mom, are you out of your mind? Ben wasn't hurting me!" 

"Yes, I saw exactly what he was doing. What are you doing with him, Ciara? Letting him touch you? With the same hands that killed 3 people? After everything he has done to our family why in God's name would you be kissing him?"

"I'm pretty sure I don't have to answer that, mom. Ben and I are not any of your business. I told Rafe when," 

"When he saw you two kissing. I know. He told me." 

"Yes, of course he did." Ciara sighed, rolling her eyes. She took a deep breath, this argument with her mother wasn't new. But she had to keep trying to get through to her. "Mom, I know this is going to be really difficult for you to understand but I need you to try to hear me this time, okay? Ben has changed. He isn't who he was anymore, and he would never hurt me." Ciara said carefully. She knew her mother had to mean well somewhere deep down, but this was overkill. 

"Ciara, you're not listening to reason. You haven't been for months. He is a maniac. He terrorized your cousin for months. He ruined people's lives forever. He killed three people!"

"I know his past, Mom! But I also know that he wasn't himself when he did those things! He was sick. And now he's gotten help. He's changed." 

"People don't change that much Ciara. Sick people like this just continue to lie and manipulate everyone around them until it's too late! I won't let you get hurt when he loses it again! That monster belongs in a cage!" She spat at Ben, who had gone to sit on the bench next to them. He merely shook his head, silent. 

"Mom, stop it! Don't talk about him like he isn't here." 

"He is a psychopath, Ciara. He is a lunatic-"

"Ben is important to me. And you won't talk about him like that in front of me." Ciara stood resolved, a new fire rising inside her. 

Hope again turned to Ben. "I bet you're loving this aren't you?" 

"Mom, you are the one provoking him at every turn, not the other way around. And anyway this is so NOT about Ben - it's about me. You trusting me. You accepting that I am an adult and I am capable of making my own decisions. And accepting that anything going on between me and Ben is just that."

"He is manipulating you, Ciara. He is fixated on you just like he was Abigail. I won't let my only daughter become collateral damage in his sick obsession." Hope said, unrelenting. Ciara sighed loudly, her hands wringing the air. She scoffed and stepped to the side, looking back at Ben who hadn't uttered a word. Hope trashing him to Ciara wasn't a new occurrence, but the days of it frustrating him ended as soon as he knew Ciara believed in him. Finally he stood from the bench, stepping to just behind her. She about faced one last time, taking a deep breath.

"For the last time, Mom - Ben is not a threat to anyone, least of all me. Why is that so hard for you to believe?"

"And why should I?" 

"Because I love her." Ben said from behind Ciara's shoulder, bold and clear. 

Hope seemed to be paralyzed in place. "What did you just say?" 

"I love Ciara. And I would never hurt her, not for anything in the world."

Hope's eyes somehow looked both exhausted and crazed. "No, no. Love? You don't know the meaning of the word. No." The denial in her voice might have even been amusing under other circumstances. Ciara, on the other hand looked at Ben with complete amazement. He gave her a small smile at her and rounded on Hope. 

"I love Ciara. And I will keep doing what I have been - showing her, and you, and everyone else in this town the changed person I am now. Nothing else matters to me. So unless there's another cabin fire you want to let go unsolved, I think we're done here." Ben said coolly. Hope nodded slowly, an uneasy smile on her face. 

"You're trying to brainwash my daughter, but it won't work. You hear me? Mark my words." She pointed at Ben, who stood firm just behind Ciara's shoulders. He stood resolute, fighting the urge to roll his eyes. 

"Mom," Ciara sighed. 

"Baby, please. You don't know what you're doing. You don't know what he is capable of!" She stepped forward with her hands out toward Ciara, but she'd moved so quickly that it had startled Ben. In a moment he had stepped forward, shielding Ciara behind. Ciara lost her footing at the quick movements but stayed upright, holding onto Ben's arm. Suddenly Hope was unholstering her gun, eyes glowing in anger directed at Ben. 

"Mom, what the hell are you doing?!" 

"Hope!" Rafe shouted, also coming out of nowhere. Ciara stood frozen, it had all happened so fast she was in a daze. She couldn't believe she had reached for her gun. 

"You keep your hands off of her! You animal!" Hope snarled, unmoved by Rafe's presence. He'd had to grab Hope's shoulders to keep her from launching herself at Ben. Even Ben had winced at her word choice, looking back and away. Ciara saw his face drop, and felt her blood boil as she pushed forward toward her mother and stepfather.  
"Mom - we are done talking about this. I swear, I don't want to hear another word about Ben." Ciara warned, her voice shaking. 

"Ciara Alice," 

"ENOUGH!" She shouted, finally stopping Hope in her tracks. "Another word and you and I are through. I mean it." Hope's eyes widened in fear, and she finally fell silent. 

"Ben, let's go." Ciara reached her hand toward him, her eyes pleading. 

Ben's eyes looked empty and defeated as he looked at her hand. Ciara continued holding it out to him, not moving and after another moment he took it. Taking a deep breath she interlaced their fingers and turned to leave the square, Hope sitting in defeat on the bench. 

"Ciara!" Rafe called after her, to no avail. "That went well." He said, as Hope put her head in her hands. 

-••••-


	10. Come What May

Ciara stormed through the guest house door that Ben was holding open for her, pulling off her jacket and throwing it onto the ottoman at the foot of Ben's bed. 

"She is absolutely the most infuriating, stubborn... I can't believe what a hypocrite she is! It's so clear that you've changed and she refuses to see it because it would mean - God forbid - she was wrong!" Ciara shouted at the walls, pacing back and forth across Ben's bedroom. He hadn't said anything their whole ride back to the mansion. "It's like she still thinks I'm a kid. Like I'm not living on my own, not making my own decisions, like I'm just an incapable little girl. I can't stand her pretending like I don't have a life and mind of my own." 

Finally she stopped for a moment, sitting on the ottoman. Ben stayed silent, taking off his jacket and hanging it carefully on the chair next to his dresser. "God... Ben, I'm so sorry, I've just been ranting about her for the last 15 minutes haven't I?! Ugh, I'm sorry. And I'm so sorry for what she said." She walked over to him, hands reaching for his shoulders. Ben stepped past her, avoiding her touch. Ciara turned back toward him, confused. "It kinda feels like I've been talking to myself here." Ciara said, folding her arms across her chest. "Anything you want to add? Thoughts? Comments?" He smirked a little, though it was clear to Ciara there was nothing he found even remotely funny. "What is it?" 

"I've always worked with my hands," he said quietly, seemingly in a trance. He looked out the window, his back to her as he spoke. "Ever since I was a teenager. On the run with Jordan, I would do odd jobs to get us fed, a place to sleep. Manual labor, building furniture, demolition - whatever I could find. I was never the smartest, or the best, but I was always good with my hands." He looked down at his fingers, examining them. "Now I look at them and I remember that 3 people are dead because of these hands." He finished, his hands wringing together. Ciara listened, knowing her mother's words had opened a wound. 

"Ben, my mom wasn't thinking when she said that,"

"Don't do that. Don't act like she was lying or making things up to get to me. Don't pretend like your mom didn't tell the truth."

"The truth isn't black and white!" Ciara said quickly. "The truth isn't that you were just obsessed with Abigail and then tortured her because you felt like it. You had a whole childhood of unresolved trauma that was never dealt with, and then you had an actual mental breakdown. You are just as much a victim of your father as that man he murdered in front of you! The difference is you are not like him." 

"How can I not be like him, Ciara? It's his voice in my head. It's his anger and his cruelty that he literally beat into me. His hands are my hands." He said bitterly, his arms crossing over his chest, up to his neck. Ciara felt desperate, she could see Ben closing inside of himself again, like he had that day in the pub. 

"These hands," Ciara pulled at his arms, as she had that day, and just like before he fought her slightly. "Are not something I am afraid of." Ben opened his mouth to speak but she brought her hand to his lips, silencing him. "These are the hands that picked me up off the road and carried me to safety. These are the hands that splinted my leg so I wasn't crippled for the rest of my life. They also fixed my father's bike." Facing him, she put his hands in hers. Slowly, she pulled them to her face and kissed the inside of both his palms. "Your hands don't scare me, Ben Weston. And neither do you." Ciara whispered, and he exhaled slowly. She could feel the relief coming off of him in waves, his eyes probing into her with such vulnerability it took her breath away. When the moment was over, they had anchored one another yet again. She stroked the side of his face gently, looking directly in his eyes to make her point. 

"When you feel this way, when you feel yourself wanting to shut down, just know that I won't let you. I will hold you and remind you of the man you are now - and I won't leave. I can't... I can't lose you, Ben." Ciara said, her eyes bore into him as she did. He was quiet for a long time, just looking at her. 

"You keep me centered, you know that? You remind me everyday that there's something worth fighting for. You are my lifeline, Ciara Brady." 

As always, the space around them seemed to fade as they held onto one another. Somehow, Ciara knew that what she felt for him, what happened when they looked at each other was unbreakable, unchangeable, and always would be. Ben's eyes seemed to echo what she was thinking, as his hands moved upward to cup either side of her face. 

She leaned into one, closing her eyes briefly as his other hand slid through her hair. Did he know how good it felt when he touched her? His fingers flexed on the back of her scalp, sending a shiver down Ciara's back. Ben felt it, and his other hand moved to the small of her back. She felt that constant electricity between them rising, their eyes unable to leave one another's.

"So about before in the square. What you said to my mom... that's the first time you've... well. You know. Said that." Ciara said with a small voice, looking up at him questioningly, cheeks flushing pink. The color made Ben smile. 

"Ciara, are you blushing?" He toyed. She went even redder. 

"Ben, come on, don't play with me. When you said," She gulped. "Did you... well... Did you mean it?" She asked, panic slipping into her voice. "Because I would understand if it just sort of slipped out by accident and you didn't. Mean it, is what I'm saying. I mean, my mom was being so awful and," she stammered. "And I know you would've said just about anything to shut her up because I would've done the same thing. She was being just awful... And well, I mean, saying you loved me certainly did the trick and," This time it was Ben who brought his fingers to her lips, to prevent any more words from escaping. She fell silent with an embarrassed look. He smiled, taking her face in his hands again. 

"Of course I meant it. I meant every word. I'm only sorry that the first time you heard me say it I couldn't look in those big, beautiful eyes while I did." Ben stroked her cheeks with his thumbs. The pit of nerves in Ciara were lessening, but as he touched her the muscles in her lower belly tightened instead. "So how about this," He leaned back and took a breath. She could feel the nerves now radiating off of him, his cool exterior walls all the way down, just for her. 

"Most of the time I can't believe that you're real - you are so kind, so brave, so generous. And the way you believe in me... it goes without saying that you are the best person I've ever known, and the strongest person I've ever met. I love you, Ciara Brady." Ben said, his eyes never leaving hers. As he spoke it felt like Ciara's heart might burst wide open. Her hands came up his shoulders to his neck, thumbs tracing his jawline. His eyes closed at her touch, making her knees go weak. Ciara smiled, shaking her head. 

"Ben Weston, big romantic speech guy. Who knew?" She said, leaning into kiss him. 

-••••-


	11. One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Approaching the end of this Cin draught and I could not be happier! I thought it was time to introduce just a little bit of our favorite thing - angst. Hope you enjoy it, this one sets up a lot of what's to come... don't hate me! 😊

"See? I told you, Mr. Ozark! Admit it."

"Okay, fine! I cave. Ice skating isn't all that bad."

Ben and Ciara walked hand and hand through the park, having left the ice rink in the town square. "Thank you! And of course, you would be a natural."

"Oh so, going no more than a foot at a time before grabbing the wall makes me a natural? I guess I'd better sign up for the Winter Olympics." Ben chuckled.

"But you only fell twice - not gonna lie, that was honestly a little annoying."

"Annoying? Why?!"

"Because I would love to find just one thing you're not immediately good at! You make perfect pancakes, you come up with romantic date night ideas on the fly, AND you pick up ice skating on your first try? Come on. There's gotta be a chink in the armor here somewhere." Ciara said, squeezing his hand.

"Oh so, going no more than a foot at a time before grabbing the wall makes me a natural? I guess I'd better sign up for the Winter Olympics." Ben replied, spinning around in a circle. Ciara giggled as he whirled her around twice more, and then continued walking hand in hand.

"Damn right, you did. Maybe I'm the one who should go pro," she said with a grin. "No seriously, you picked it up so fast. I'm going to have to keep searching for something you aren't good at, aren't I?"

"That should be easy - I am far from perfect. Just ask your family." Ben said, eyebrows raising.

Ciara shook her head. "They also think they know everything. I don't have to ask them anything - I know they're wrong. I love my family but it doesn't matter what they think about you. I know you, they don't. End of story." She said, her hands running up his back. Ben closed his eyes, a small contented noise escaping. Ciara smiled as he leaned in to kiss her.

"Is all the PDA really necessary? Aren't there like 100 rooms in the DiMera mansion you could do that in?" A shrill voice asked, coming from behind Ben.

"Ah, hello Claire. What a wonderful surprise." Ciara said, not moving from Ben's arms. He had tensed slightly but still held her close. She lightly rubbed his back reassuringly.

"No one's forcing you to be here, Claire. So why don't you mind your own business and leave us to ours?" Ben said, suddenly edgy.

"A little touchy, aren't we Mr. Formalwear? And here I thought we were friends." Claire said, feigning hurt. Ciara rolled her eyes.

"Friends is a bit of a stretch, especially considering you helped Tripp cover up framing me for the the fire that could've killed Ciara."

"Shouldn't you be thanking me? Since the cops think it was Wyatt, you are officially in the clear! My grandmother has dropped the charges and isn't investigating the fire anymore. Win win!"

"She stopped investigating it because Ciara stood up for me when no one else would."

"Saint Ciara to the rescue again." Claire scoffed, her eyes narrowing.

"Honestly Claire, don't you have anything better to do?" Ciara said with a humorless laugh.

"As a matter of fact, I do. You weren't answering your phone, so I went to the Pub but your shift was already over. You need to come home. Tripp's moving all of his stuff out of the apartment as we speak. He's leaving."

Ciara stepped away from Ben. "What?"

"He kept rambling about how he can't deal with you and him in the same apartment and said it was best for everyone - Ciara, we need to go talk to him and fix this."

Ciara hesitated, looking at Ben. His expression was unreadable, though she could guess he wasn't thrilled.

"I have to talk to him, this is crazy." Ciara said, shaking her head. His eyes widened.

"What?" Ben replied. She turned back toward him.

"This is ridiculous, Tripp doesn't have to move out. We can get to a civil place, it's going to be fine. He just needs to hear it from me."

"So you're going to go try to convince your ex to stay living in your apartment, with the girl he cheated on you with? Talk about an ideal living situation," Ben snorted. Ciara's shook her head, turning back towards him.

"None of that matters now. He shouldn't have to move. Besides, he hasn't said a word to me since the other night, I just... I have to go talk to him."

Ben's eyes widened. "What, right now? You're going to go and what, beg him to stay?" He was clearly upset, Ciara sighed hearing what his real issue was.

"Ben, look, it's not like that."

"For who? Can't you see that maybe this is a good thing?"

"How?"

"It will give him some closure, for one. And does the fact that you broke up with him because you said you can't trust him ring a bell? He's never going to be the same around you Ciara, because of me. And for that I'm sorry. But you shouldn't have to live in that kind of environment. I'm not trying to hurt you, I'm just being honest." Ben replied carefully. Ciara processed what he said. He was right - she didn't trust Tripp anymore.

"Maybe you're right. But whatever else Tripp has done, he's been a good roommate. I can't just let him leave without at least trying to make things civil between us." Ciara reasoned. Ben looked away, clearly not happy with her conclusion. A scoff came from the side.

"Hello, remember me, Claire? Still over here. Ciara, are you coming home so we can fix this?" Claire snapped. Ciara looked from Claire to Ben, he wouldn't meet her gaze. She wanted to make peace with Tripp - it was the right thing to do. And she had to admit that the idea of not running into him every morning was probably best for the both of them. She sighed heavily, turning back to Claire. But the more she considered it, the less it seemed a good idea for him to stay.

"I don't know Claire... maybe this is for the best?"

Claire looked from Ben to Ciara and scoffed. "What are you talking about? Of course it's not. We're roommates! Why should Tripp have to move out just because you're with Ben? Have you even talked to him to try to fix any of this?"

"Tripp doesn't HAVE to do anything. He's choosing this. If he wants to move out, I can't stop him and you shouldn't try to either. You and I are more than capable of sharing the rent."

"I don't believe this! Your new boyfriend convinces you to let Tripp just walk out and you're letting it happen?"

"I'm trying to think about all of us here, Claire. I'm with Ben and that isn't changing, and we all know Tripp isn't happy with it. It makes it awkward and uncomfortable for all of us."

"So you're really going to let Ben call the shots like this?" Claire said angrily.

"No, I am thinking about everyone. Tripp living with us just isn't working anymore." She admitted. Ben smiled slightly, relieved. Claire looked at Ben's reaction and something in her demeanor changed.

"I see. So - you and Ben are a united front. He says something and you support him. I'm impressed. You've only been dating for a few weeks and already you seem so... solid. Wow." She said feigning awe. Ciara detected her insincerity almost immediately. Ben stood up straighter, not sure where Claire's manipulative, dangerously selfish mind was going.

"Claire, I know you're mad but don't be condescending. Ben and I are together, and yes of course we support each other."

"I suppose you guys tell each other everything then."

"What are you getting at, Claire?"

"Did your knight in shining necktie already tell you about our little plan to split up you and Tripp?" Claire scoffed. At this Ciara froze, stunned.

"What did you say?"

Claire smiled wickedly. "Oh, tsk tsk, Benny boy! He didn't mention it? Hmmm. Must have slipped his mind." She said tauntingly.

"What stupid game are you playing now, Claire?" Ben said, coming up behind Ciara, who still couldn't formulate a sentence to respond. Claire smiled innocently.

"Well, you and Ciara have the forbidden love of all time. So I was just sure that you would have told her about our little alliance, since you don't keep secrets and all."

Ben sighed, his eyes closing. "Claire, what the hell are you doing?"

"Setting the record straight. I don't get Tripp, you don't get Ciara. Deal's off." Claire said defiantly.

"Deal? What the hell is going on?!" Ciara shouted.

Ben was getting agitated. "It was never like that and you know it!"

"Your precious Ben and I teamed up to split up you and Tripp. He got you, I got Tripp. Which by all counts worked... except Tripp can't seem to let go of the fact that you dumped him. So, I thought it was time for a little honesty."

Ciara stood stunned. Ben rounded on Claire. "Stop acting like this was something we cooked up together, you know that's not how it happened. Don't forget that I can blow this whole thing to Tripp, and then he won't be able to stand the sight of you either." Ben warned. She scoffed in return.

"Like he'd ever believe you over me. Anyway it doesn't matter - by the time you'd tell Tripp anything, I will have already been the only true friend who stood beside him. He won't believe anything you'll say - I'll make sure of it. He will lean on me the way he should have from the beginning, and everything will be the way it's supposed to." Claire spat. Ciara shook her head.

"You really hate me that much? That you would sabotage me and Tripp, pull Ben into it, and now rub it in my face like this?" She said sadly. Claire's eyes welled slightly.

"Everything you want, you get. Even the things you didn't even care about! Theo, and then Tripp. You get everything and I get nothing and I am done with it! So yes, I plotted to split up you and Tripp. But I didn't make you fall for Ben. You did that all on your own and we both know that's why you ended it." Claire admitted, trying to catch her breath as she shouted at Ciara. "I gave you the push you needed toward the guy you'd fallen for but couldn't admit it. You should be thanking me."

"Thank you? For betraying me? Lying to me?" Ciara snarled back at her, rage bubbling in her stomach. "Well, you got what you wanted, Claire. Now go away. I don't care that we're blood - I can't even look at you right now. You make me sick." Her voice was barely above a whisper. Claire finally seemed to relent, backing off. She looked from Ben back to Ciara, who stared at the treeline facing away from both of them. Claire opened her mouth to speak, closed it, and briskly left.

Ben didn't dare move, and after a few moments she finally turned to face him. "You have exactly one chance to explain yourself. And don't you dare lie to me." Ciara said, her voice livid and shaky.

He swallowed heavily. "Claire wanted Tripp, so she approached me about pursuing you so that she could have him to herself. I told her no way in hell, and that I didn't want any part of it. I was stupid... but I didn't lie or manipulate you. I swear to God, Ciara."

"You mean, aside from lying to me from the beginning about all of it?"

"I didn't-"

"I want to know exactly what you _did_ do. Right now."

Ben took a deep breath. "Claire told me you would be at the cafe the day I tried to talk to Doug about getting a job."

"So, you knew I was there that day."

"Yes,"

"And you telling me you had feelings for me, that was what - your show stopper? Your ace in the hole to manipulate me?!" Ciara choked out, her eyes filling with tears.

"No, God, no Ciara! It wasn't like that, you have to know that! I told you how I felt that day because I couldn't go another minute without you knowing how important you are to me," Ben said, stepping toward her. She recoiled away from him.

"Do NOT come near me right now." Ciara warned. "I feel like I'm going to be sick. I'm going back to get my bike." She said, walking past him without a glance. Knowing she'd left it at the mansion, he breathed a sigh of relief - at least he'd have a chance. Ben followed her quietly, unwilling to let her ride off without making it right.

-••••-


	12. Three Words, Eight Letters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two of my favorite elements of Cin: that they are not afraid to challenge each other, and Ciara is NOT afraid of Ben. And, what a shocker, I wanted to delve a little deeper. 😜
> 
> As always, everyone's lovely feedback is so humbling and appreciated. The next few chapters are some of my favorites... I hope you'll agree and enjoy reading as much as I loved writing it. ❤
> 
> Ps. This chapter (and especially it's title) is dedicated to my girl KimNYC84. 😊

Ben stayed a few paces behind Ciara all the way back to the mansion. His hands in his pockets, he could practically feel every foot stomp she took into the guest house. She threw the door behind her purposefully - it hit Ben squarely in the shoulder just as she'd intended. 

"Ow! Okay, alright. Let me have it already. Anything is better than the silent, and now apparently door treatment." Ben said, rubbing his shoulder. Ciara glared back at him, shooting a look she knew could kill. Any trace of humor or trying to make light of the situation left his face immediately. 

"Ciara, I'm sorry. I should have told you about Claire and her stupid scheme and any part I had in it. I should have told you and I'm sorry I didn't." 

Ciara had thrown her bag into the chair and was pacing back and forth across the room - she still hadn't looked at him.

"Babe, come on. Talk to me."

"Do. NOT. Use pet names with me right now. Quit acting like your smarmy boss and don't try to charm your way out of this."

"I'm not, Ciara. I... I'm sorry. I was an idiot. I should've never agreed to anything with Claire."

Finally coming to a stop, she faced him. "Don't you get it? You lied to me. You... we... We don't lie to each other, Ben." She said quietly. He sighed, taking off his jacket and throwing it with a little too much force into the chair next to his bed.

"I know. I even told Claire I didn't like deceiving you. I hated it."

"Oh! Well I feel so much better you told CLAIRE how awful you felt lying to me. If you hated it so much, why did you agree to it in the first place?!" Ciara's anger seemed to be rising, and he didn't know how to stop it.

"I - Ciara... I don't even know." He said, running his hands through his hair. "I had nothing going for me. I thought I had no chance with you under any circumstances. And then she was this persistent little reminder that Tripp was better with her and, and..." he shook his head. Her eyes continued to narrow. "Look... There's no excuse I'm going to try to make. I knew I would regret it from the moment it started."

"The whole reason I broke up with Tripp is because of trust. Do I really need to explain to you how important it is to me?"

"No, of course not. I'm not an idiot, I know I screwed up."

"This is more than that, Ben! How am I supposed to trust you now?!" She shouted. Ben sat on the ottoman, head in his hands.

"I... I wanted to do it the right way, Ciara. I wanted to sweep you off your feet the way you deserve. But I couldn't, not after every place and every person in this town reminded me that I'm nothing more than the things I've done. So I agreed to be part of something that I didn't even want because at least it gave me a shot at being around you, of seeing you. It started and ended there for me. I never wanted to manipulate or lie to you."

"Well that doesn't really mean much, does it? Considering you did both."

Ben looked up at her carefully. "You're right. I did. And I may not have done anything directly to break you guys up, but I wanted you to. I don't even know what else I can say to you except I'm sorry. So, whatever happens now is up to you. Whatever you decide to do next, I will respect. I will never take your choices away."

Ciara stood still, arms crossed. He looked at the floor, clearly defeated.

"I wish you had considered my choices then, especially when all I've done is listen to yours."

"And what does that mean exactly?"

"The whole Tripp moving out thing?! You completely flipped out! I listened to your side and I agreed with you, but you just didn't want him around me. Admit it." Ciara fired back.

Ben finally looked up. "Done. I don't want him anywhere near you. I don't want him looking at you, and I certainly don't want him trying to reminisce about old times in that loft."

Ciara scoffed, moving past him. "Do you hear how jealous you sound?"

Ben finally stood up. "We're gonna go there? Okay, fine. You practically wanted to go running after your ex to beg him not to move out of the apartment you lived in together. What the hell was I supposed to feel about that?"

Ciara's eyes widened in anger. "It was about him staying as our roommate! That's it and you know it."

"Maybe for you it's about having a roommate, Ciara, but for him it's different and you know it."

"I can't just hate him on command because it's convenient for you and your ego, Ben. And it doesn't even compare to you and Claire plotting behind my back!"

"Claire wasn't into me. Tripp, on the other hand, still wants you. He's still in love with you, you're not stupid. You have to know that." Ben said with frustration.

"That doesn't matter," she said matter of factly. 

"And why the hell shouldn't it?!"   
"Because I'm in love with you!" Ciara shouted. Her eyes widened as the truth came unbidden out of her mouth, the weight of the words she had spoken hanging between them. Ben stood facing her, frozen. 

"What did you say?" Ben asked with a small voice, his face unreadable. For some reason she felt her eyes welling with tears. She shook her head quickly to keep them from spilling out, the anger she had felt moments ago was now changing into something more consuming she couldn't name. 

  
"Tripp can feel whatever he feels, it doesn't matter to me. I am in love with YOU, Ben. Haven't you figured that out yet?" Ciara said, her voice cracking. He was as frozen as a statue, though his eyes were open, she wasn't sure he was registering what she was saying. Confused, she took a step towards him. He almost leapt backward, recoiling from her movement toward him as if he was a wounded animal. She stopped with even more shock, and slowly lifted both hands to him as a placating gesture.

"Ben... where are you right now?" She asked carefully. His arm was across his chest, fiddling with his collar, like he had in the pub the day he remembered his father murdering a man in front of him. "Ben, babe. Look at me." His eyes seemed to be out of focus. She inched closer to him, he looked around at the floor and then the ceiling. 

Ben sat on the edge of his bed, body leaning away from hers. He looked toward the window. "No, Ciara. No, you don't... you can't... love me." He said quietly. She was stunned into silence - of all the things she expected him to say, that was not on her list. She felt a small sting of rejection, but mostly confusion.

"Ben, what the hell are you talking about?"

"Ciara, I'm not... I'm not enough for you. Don't you see? I'll never be the good, squeaky clean guy like Theo. I'll never be in your family's good graces like Tripp. I already screwed up with the stupid Claire thing. I've been trying to fight it because you are - Ciara, you are everything to me. But I know that I'll never be enough for you. I'll always do something to screw it up and I don't ever want you to be hurt because of me." His eyes were pleading, but his hands reached for her. It was like he was at war with himself. "I should let you go. It's the right thing to do."

"So what you're... ending this now? Is - is that what you want?" The pain in her voice was palpable. Ben scoffed.

"What I want? No... Of course that's not what I want. Ciara, I want you. I'll spend the rest of my life just wanting you. But trust is the most important thing to you. And I broke your trust."

Ciara nodded, finally able to step toward him slowly. "Yes. Trust is the most important thing to me, and it always will be. But Ben, when something happens... we're supposed to talk it through and work it out so that we can move forward. We're not just breaking up because we fight, that's not how it works. And definitely not because I tell you that I love you."

"But that's just it, Ciara! How can you want to love someone like me?" His voice was so small, it tore through Ciara's heart. She went to the edge of his bed, kneeling down to grab his face with both hands. As he looked at her, she knew he was completely vulnerable, a state he couldn't stand to be - what she said now had to resonate.

"Ben Weston - I am in love with you. I've never felt this way about anyone in my life. Not Theo, and certainly not Tripp. I know that your past exists, I'm not ignoring it. I love you for who you are now." She said, trying to implant the words into him. "The day you found me on the road, you didn't just save my life. You brought me back to life. I need you. I love you. You are enough for me." She caressed his face, hoping desperately that baring her heart this way would reach him. It had to, there was no other choice. Ben looked at her wordlessly. Assuredness rose up in Ciara as she continued to look back at him - she didn't move, she was resolute and this was her way of showing it to him.

Ben didn't move for a long time, until finally he gave a small smile. "I guess the speech thing goes both ways," he said quietly. His eyes were clear again, and he looked at her as if he were seeing the sun for the first time.

"Yeah, I guess it does." Ciara stood up, and reached for his hands, pulling him to his feet.

"Can you forgive me? For agreeing to Claire's stupid plan? For lying?" He asked, his hands still clearly wanted to reach for her though he didn't. So instead she reached down to grab one of his, holding it firmly.

"Yes, I forgive you."

Relief came off him in waves, she squeezed his hand. "But Ben, listen to me. You can't ever lie to me like that again. In fact, no more lies, ever. Okay? We're Ben and Ciara and we don't lie to each other. Deal?"

"Deal." He replied, lifting up her hand to kiss it. Suddenly Ben's eyes narrowed, he looked confused.

"But, Tripp lied to you and you ended it." He said, and she looked down.

"Yeah... I did. He made it clear that he didn't have a problem lying to me, even when he knew I hated it. So I couldn't trust him anymore. And," she looked around awkwardly, unable to find the right words. "And because I wanted to be with you." She admitted finally, unable to look him in the eye. "Once I knew what had really happened, that Tripp had framed you, God, even before - I realized I couldn't deny I had feelings for you anymore. Tripp knew it too, even before I did. So once everything was out... I didn't want to make it work. I wanted you." As she said the words out loud she knew they were true. She smiled to herself, and Ben's eyes seemed to sparkle as she said the last words.

"No lies. Ever." He repeated back.

"Yep. It can be our 'thing'." Ciara said, raising her eyebrows. Ben laughed.

"So... I didn't scare you off with the whole assault via door thing?" She asked with a dazzling smile, that he returned. Ciara's knees went weak again.

"I don't scare that easily - I guess you'll have to work a little harder." He smiled, pulling her towards him. Ben took her hands in his, eyes melting into hers as he raised their hands together, interlocking their fingers. Ciara gazed back at him with a warmth that spread through her every cell.

"I love you." Ciara said quietly.

"I love you." Ben replied softly, leaning his forehead gently against hers. He squeezed her hands and it made her heart swell in her chest. Unable to take another moment she leaned in and kissed him. Quickly he reached for her neck, fingers going into her hair. She felt off balance, even though he held her. Within seconds it wasn't enough, as she pulled him closer she could feel his heartbeat. It was quickening, just like hers - the thought made her feel dizzy. The electricity that had always been between them was practically buzzing in her ears, driving her need to be closer to him. Pulling away suddenly, he looked at her, the heat in his gaze made her stomach knot. She could feel they were approaching a point they never had, and so did he. Answering the question before he could ask it, she seized his shirt pulling him into a kiss: there was no turning back now.

-••••-


	13. Hunger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a long time coming, and the song that ran through my head for most of it (and gave it its title) you can listen to here: https://youtu.be/L7QIYXGL8m8
> 
> I'll be honest friends - this is the chapter I have fretted over the most... we're about to get smutty. Are you ready? I hope you enjoy. ❤

Ciara clung on to him, and his tongue had found its way into her mouth, making her breath hitch in her throat. Ben slid his hands in opposite directions on her back, one to her hair and the other cupping her butt completely. Ciara's mind had gone all fuzzy, she was lost in his touch. Ben smiled against her lips as he felt it, then was unrelenting as he explored her mouth. He moved to her neck, kissing her clavicle, across one side to the other. Her hands found his hair again, and then back around his neck, pulling him closer. 

"Ciara," Ben said her name with a reverence that made her lower stomach tighten in a way she couldn't believe and barely understood. She managed to kiss his shoulder as he was ravaging her neck, his hands now just above the waist of her jeans, below her shirt. His fingers flexed against the small of her back, causing an involuntary moan to slip from her lips. His mouth didn't leave her neck as she arched back into his arms. She could feel him hardening against her waist, and the feeling nearly made her knees buckle. 

"Ben," she groaned, craving his mouth on hers. And in the next moment his lips crashed into hers, his tongue pushing into her mouth desperately. In between the cloudiness of her thoughts she marveled at how in tune he was to her without saying a word. His hands dove into her hair, and hers dropped down below his waist, gripping the erection above his jeans.

His eyes shot open and blazed like wildfire, as if he was coming alive just for her. She held him in her hands, flexing and squeezing slightly. A brazen confidence took her over and suddenly she was unbuttoning the top of his jeans and sliding her hand inside, he shuddered as she moved. Ben watched her in awe, his mouth slightly open but unable to speak, hands cupping her face. Ciara bit her lower lip slightly and smiled like the Cheshire Cat up at him, eyes blazing and dangerous. 

"God, you feel," she breathed as he leaned his forehead against hers. Ben gulped as she squeezed him, Ciara could feel his breath on her lips. Slowly she brought her hand out of his jeans, and he wasted no time sliding the jacket off her shoulders. Ciara slid her hands under his shirt onto his stomach, his muscles tensing at her touch. Without a word he lifted his hands upward, as simultaneously she lifted it above his head. Ciara leaned back slightly to drink him in: the smooth planes of his chest, his collarbones, all the way down to his feet. Ben didn't move as she shamelessly appraised him, and her mouth fell mouth open slightly - sexy didn't even begin to cover it. She swallowed heavily, her cheeks flushed pink, making him harder than ever. She went to reach for her shirt, but something flashed in his eyes and he grabbed her wrists, holding her hands in place. She looked back at him confused, as he took a deep breath. 

"Are you sure about this?" Ben asked softly. His breathing was heavy like hers, but Ciara stopped in her tracks for a moment, looking him in the eyes.

"If I said right now that I wanted to wait, and stop... it wouldn't matter to you, would it?" 

Ben shook his head. "Not for a second." He said, grabbing her face with one hand. Her heart swelled inside her chest. "Ciara, the most important thing to me is that you know how much I love you. So if you want us to wait, we will." He said, his fingers caressing her face. She smiled, having known the answer to her question almost immediately after asking it. She leaned into his hand and kissed his palm. He exhaled with relief at her touch. She grabbed the front of his jeans, pulling him toward her. Ciara knew she was ready, and she couldn't wait another moment. 

"I want you, Ben. More than anything. Right now." She whispered. His eyes took on that hot molten quality again, and a breath later he was kissing her. Relief surged through her body as he touched her, but simultaneously it felt like there was gasoline being added to the fire burning in her lower belly. His fingers grabbed the hem of her shirt, and she mirrored his actions from moments ago, lifting her hands above her head. Ciara's shirt hadn't hit the floor before she reached to unbutton the top of her jeans. Ben grabbed her wrists again, this time a playful smile on his face that made her knees go weak. 

"Please... Let me." His voice was so low and full of heat, it made her thighs ache. He walked toward the bed, his fingers tracing her stomach and waist to her back. She tried to take a deep breath, but it came out a shudder as his touch kept her both off balance and wanton. He grabbed the loops of her jeans and turned her around, so she was facing him as he sat on the edge of the bed. Her arms fell awkwardly to her sides at first, but then she placed one on his shoulder, and started running the other through his hair.

"Mmmm," Ben's head fell forward and he made a contented noise. Ciara smiled, making a mental note. He kissed her arm as he undid the zipper and pulled the jeans slowly down her legs, eyes taking her in hungrily. She shimmied a little to help him, and he smiled. She was down to just her bra and panties. 

"You are absolutely the most perfect thing I've ever seen." He said quietly. She stepped out of her jeans, kicking them aside. Ben's eyes went down her body, breathing heavier as he did. His hands found her waist, looking up and down at her in awe. She smirked, playing with the hair behind his ears. Slowly his hands traced their way up her stomach, then in between her breasts and stopping at her clavicle, causing a full body shudder and a loud gasp. Her arms locked around his neck as he pulled her in, burying his face into her chest. She nearly collapsed onto him when he sloppily kissed the skin between her breasts. She held his head as tightly as she could to remain balanced, as he unlatched her bra with one flick of his fingers. She paused, looking down at him. Ben didn't move, waiting for her to advise him that she was still comfortable. Ciara saw it, and smiled. She lowered her shoulders so that each strap fell forward. As she dropped her hands to her sides, the bra fell to the floor. 

Ben's eyes widened as he stared at her chest. She had never experienced this kind of open appraisal of her body, but she didn't feel ashamed like she might have with anyone else. She wanted him to see her, every part of her - It made her feel empowered. He slowly gripped her breasts with both hands, and as his thumbs circled around her nipples she let out a huff of breath. 

"Ahh," she crooned softly, a smirk filling Ben's features. She was climbing, higher and faster, there was no stopping it now. He continued to play with her, squeezing and tugging between his fingers. Suddenly he leaned his head forward and started nibbling her right breast. As a noise came out of her she had never heard, she looked down to see him smiling against her chest and looking right back at her. Her eyes shut immediately - watching him toy with her was too much, she wouldn't make it. She felt his mouth and tongue on her and there was nothing else. He then placed his attention to her left breast, staring at her as he did. Suddenly, he took her nipple between his teeth and pulled. 

"Ungh!" Ciara cried, again she felt the smile coming onto his features as he continued. His mouth went back to work, causing her breathing to become less and less steady. His hand went down her stomach, right to her panty line. Ben looked up at her, a wicked grin spreading across his face as his thumb slipped inside her panties and caressed her entrance. Their eyes never leaving each other's, his thumb entered and swirled around. 

"Ohhh," the word came out as another breathy huff.

"That's what I like to hear." Ben grinned, moving his finger slowly inside of her. Her hips moved with him, she gripped his shoulders to keep steady. He entered his index finger, causing her whole body to shudder again.  
"Mmmm, I love how wet you are... is all this for me?" He asked coyly, fingers moving inside her as he said it.

"Yes, yes," she stammered out. 

"That's right. All mine," He growled back, three fingers now inside her. Ciara groaned loudly. "You're so tight in there, so hot... Are you ready for me, baby?"

"Please," she whined.

"Oh don't worry, I will. I can't wait to be inside you, Ciara." He growled into her ear, then licked her earlobe. She felt heady and dazed, only able to focus on his fingers moving so exquisitely. He wouldn't relent, moving around her clit, then in and out. He tapped it just once and swirled around again and again. She thought she might go crazy, so close to falling to pieces right there just from his fingers. And then, abruptly, he pulled his hand out from her entirely. Her eyes shot up to his in aroused frustration.

Ben suddenly pulled her forward onto his lap, and she squealed as their position settled, her knees on either side of his thighs - straddling him completely. As their eyes locked into each others, Ben brought his already damp index finger to his mouth and sucked on it, then did the same with each finger. She couldn't look away, her fingertips digging into his shoulders. Finally, he brought his hand to her mouth, his index finger tracing her lower lip. 

"Open your mouth." he commanded. Ciara obliged immediately - It was salty and sweet, she couldn't get enough. He watched her every move, his breath also huskier by the second. Pulling out his finger, he traced her lips with it again, and she couldn't take any more, crashing her mouth into his and pushing against his chest with all of her might. Her enthusiasm caught Ben so off guard that he fell backward, her on top of him, still straddling his hips. Ciara could feel his erection, and she ground herself into it. He groaned, his hands gripping her hips tightly. He reached to pull off his pants, but she stopped him. 

"My turn." 

He immediately let go, biting his bottom lip. She placed her hand on his bulge, causing him to swear under his breath. Ciara scooted herself down off his hips and back to a standing position to pull his jeans all the way off, along with his tight fitting black boxer briefs. As they both hit the floor, she knelt over him, her hands on his knees. She rubbed his thighs back and forth, so strong and muscular, and he gave a throaty rasp of approval. His erection had sprung completely free, and the sight of him, all of him, took her breath away. He was now eyeing her up and down, that sexy smirk back on his face. She leaned forward and got on her knees, feeling the sudden urge to know what he tasted like. She licked up his thigh, and then grabbed him by the base of his cock, carefully taking the end into her mouth. Where he had been resting on his elbows to see her, the sight of her kneeling below him combined with her hot breath and tongue on him caused him to fall backward onto the bed. 

"Fuck, Ciara," Ben rasped. 

She smiled, all of him in her mouth. She had never wanted this with anyone, had never felt such a wanton desire in her whole life. As she let it radiate through her, she began to move up and down, squeezing his shaft ever so slightly. Though she had never done this, she could feel him groaning, the sound pulsating through his hips and pelvis. It gave her an idea of what to do next. She could feel him at the back of her throat, the perfect combination of salty, wet, and sweet. 

"Ciara, slow down or I'm gonna," he reached for her head but couldn't finish his thought. Her hands were sliding across his pelvic bone, onto his lower stomach, then back to his hips. Ciara knew she should slow down. She had been bringing them both to the edge and she knew it. But the wanton, passionate Ciara who had emerged tonight wouldn't be satisfied until she had made Ben fall apart in her hands. Something about knowing that he was entirely in her hands... he tasted so good, and she was so wet she could practically feel herself dripping onto him. 

"Ciara," he said, his tone sounded warning, though his hands dug in her scalp pulling her head closer. The breaths he sucked in through his teeth were in rhythm with her movements up and down his cock. As much as she wanted him to make come right there, the urge to feel him inside her wouldn't quiet. It raged hot between her thighs.

Quickly she sat up, stroking him once more and looking at him with her eyebrows raised - that particular fantasy would have to wait. In the same moment he sat up, grabbed her around the waist and flipped her onto her back so that she was beneath him. She was breathless as he did, feeling him hover over her. He wasted no time kissing her hard, forcing his tongue into her mouth. Any control she'd had of the situation was gone, and instead of it scaring her it aroused her even more. Ben finally sat up, looking down at the only thing separating them. 

"As much as I like these, they're in my way." He said wryly, dipping his head down below her pelvis so quickly she gasped. He kissed the wetness at her panties once, and Ciara shuddered as his nose grazed over her sex.  
"Don't move," Ben warned, as his fingers tugged on the sides of her g-string. He grabbed the top of her panties with his teeth, and pulled them down her thighs. As he came back up he groaned at the sight of her completely naked beneath him. Ben simply stared at her for a moment, his eyes looked worshipful. 

"God, I want you so much." Ben growled. Ciara watched as he licked his lips, and then pulled him down. She kissed him as hard and deep as she could, his tongue searching every inch of her mouth. Her hands dove into his hair, but he snatched one and held it above their heads, intertwining their fingers. Their hips aligned above each other's, her heart somewhere in her throat as he hovered over her. He broke the kiss, and grabbed her leg. He and pulled it up to his hip, entering her slowly, never taking his eyes off her. 

"Ahhh!" Ciara cried out, feeling him fill her up. He exhaled in what sounded like relief. Her hands reached for his waist, an idle vision of her tongue tracing the V of his abdomen came quickly to mind. Then he suddenly moved backward, pushing into her again, harder this time. All she could manage was a moan, to his delight.

"That's right, baby." Ben moved slowly at first, letting her catch her bearings. Without thinking, her hips rose up to meet his. He kept grinding into her, harder and deeper, his pace quickening. But soon she could tell he couldn't take much more, and she knew she couldn't either. "You are so fucking beautiful." He said, each word a thrust inside of her.

"Please, Ben," she cried out.

"Tell me. Let me hear you, baby,"

She could barely think, motivated only by the desire of feeling him inside her. Pulling at his neck, she brought her lips next to his ear.

"Harder," she commanded, emphasizing her point by biting down his his earlobe. He practically growled and then obliged, every stroke inside of her felt like he was alive in a way he never had been. "Yes, Ben, please," she cried. Finally, he knew he was past the point of no return and needed to see her. He grabbed her face. 

"Ciara, look at me." He pleaded.

She turned her head to face him, her eyes aflame, searing into his. Every synapse in her was fixed on him, only him. He pulled her leg just a little bit higher and thrust into her, finding her clit once more. At this she cried out his name, and it was his undoing. 

"Ciara!" He called out, with her panting beneath him. As he finished, he felt the exquisite things her lower muscles were doing to him, and knew she was close to climax. Ciara was gasping, digging her nails into his back. He had barely anything left, but he kept pushing and thrusting into her, determined. 

"Come on baby, give it to me." He purred in her ear. Her other leg wrapped around his waist, his hands held her head gently in place. Ciara's hands pulled on his back and he pounded into her only a few more times before finally she shattered beneath him, his name amidst her cries. He memorized her face, how she sounded and smelled. He slowed his pace slightly but kept moving inside of her afterward, prolonging her orgasm until she thought she might burst at the seams. 

Though he was out of breath too, he still held her tightly. His head had found the crook in between her neck and shoulder, kissing and nibbling on the spot. She let her hands slide down his back, gripping his bottom while kissing his shoulders. Dazed, she realized she wanted him to leave traces of them making love on her body, and vice versa. His head lifted from her neck, looking down at her. He smiled widely, and she couldn't help but return it. 

"Well, that was," he started, dazed. Ciara's hands came up to hold his face. "Wow." He simply stated. 

"Absolutely," she purred, her breaths loud as pulled him into a kiss. Amazingly, it became urgent almost as quickly as it had began. She pushed him to the side, and suddenly was on top of him. With a satisfied grin she looked down at him, his eyes wide and speechless. She felt him against her legs, and sure enough he was starting to harden again. His hands gripped her hips, thumbs just below her pelvis. Her hands found steadiness on his stomach, her nails pressing into his abs. He sucked a breath in through his teeth, and she smiled. 

"Hmmm. Kinda seems like you're getting ready for me again." She gasped, flipping her hair over her head to get it out of her way. His erection pressed against her leg, and he smiled. "I'm not the only one," Ben said dangerously. At his words her nipples hardened and hips tensed. His fingers dug into her hips and he pulled her forward. Her hair splayed over them both, a hot curtain engulfing them. 

"Actually, I wanted to finish what I started before..." She purred against his lips. He tried to kiss her again but she pulled back, shaking her head and pushing down on his chest. "Uh-uhhh, nope. I want to watch what I can make you do with just my mouth." She said, leaving Ben speechless. Even she was surprised at the words coming out of her. She smiled at his expression, a mixture of awe and arousal. It made her feel heady and powerful, something she had never felt before with a man. But it was more than that: She felt more wanton and desperate with every touch... it was a side of her she thought Chase destroyed before she'd ever had a chance to explore it, one she had never shown anyone. With Tripp she had pretended it didn't exist, and though it made her ashamed to say it, when they had slept together it was safe, almost mindless. But with Ben, she knew it would never be predictable. The way they felt about each other was too all-consuming, too passionate. It made her want things like never before. His fingers dug into her hips again bringing her back from her quick reverie.

"I could look at you on top of me all day long," Ben purred, pulling her mouth back down to his, kissing and then biting her lower lip. He then moved her up on his hips just slightly, burying his face in her chest. Ciara cried out when he took her breast completely into his mouth and began to suck on it.

"Fuck!" She yelped. He wouldn't stop, and she could feel herself building again. "Don't distract me," she panted. But it was no use, his hand hand gone down to her sex and had started playing with her.

"Oh no baby, I'm gonna do a lot more than that." He flipped her over again, his hands going down her stomach. "I'm going to put my mouth right here," he pressed two fingers into her, causing a whimper. "And my tongue right there." He tapped her clit.

"Ah! Ben!" 

"I'm gonna make you come so hard, you're gonna scream." He vowed. "I can't wait to feel that pussy gush all over my face." He whispered, as she panted. Just his words made her feel like she was teetering on the edge. His hand went up the center of her stomach between her breasts, then came back down gripping her hips. His nose went down her thigh, licking and sucking its way back upward. She was a shuddering mess below him.

"Mmmm, you smell so good, Ciara. You want it?"

"Yes, oh my god, yes,"

"What do you say?" Ben teased. She writhed beneath him.

"Please, please," she panted.

He immediately licked her lips and kissed the top of her entrance. Her legs practically vibrated, and he immediately grabbed them, bending her knees upward. She gasped at the quick change in position, but cried out even louder when his tongue went immediately to work inside of her. His hands wrapped around her thighs, he held her in place as he licked and sucked her clit seemingly without taking a breath. Ciara couldn't catch her breath, in disbelief that she could feel so completely wanton so quickly. Her previous agenda forgotten, her thighs tightened around his head, and he groaned in approval.

"Mmmm, you taste so damn good." Ben said after a few minutes, his hand replacing his tongue. "You like that, baby?" Ciara immediately moaned in approval, and his eyes hooded with pleasure. "Who's pussy is this?" He asked, fingers sliding out of her and down her lips. His voice was so low and gravelly, it made Ciara even wetter and more at his mercy.

"Yours, ah, yours," she cried. He slammed his fingers into her again, causing another outcry.

"That's right. All mine." Ben smiled, his own breathing hitching. He watched her, his eyes the darkest, most beautiful melted brown color. He smiled as she wiggled and moaned above him, fingers still working their magic. She plunged both hands into his hair, nails digging at his scalp.

"Fuck, Ciara," Ben whispered as his fingers went back in her clumsily, his other hand now pawing her at breasts. His mouth returned to her, his tongue swirling patterns deep inside, driving her to the edge and back, and he knew it. The feeling of his stubble against her thighs, his tongue in and out of her combined with his fingers was sending her over the edge yet again. Suddenly he pulled back, lightly blowing onto her clit and then slammed his fingers into her, causing her to cry out.

"Ben!" His name had become a throaty plea of desperation. He repeated the process, again. And again, and again. "Oh my god, right there," she was desperate, completely undone at his hands, which were gripping her thighs, his mouth more urgent than ever. She fisted the bedsheets around them, barely able to think as all she could hear was the sound of her own desperate moans. 

"That's it, come for me, Ciara. I want it all over me, baby," Ben commanded, his index and middle finger inside her as well as his tongue. Finally he sought to put her out of her misery, his tongue hitting her clit again and again. She bucked against his head, choking out his name. And finally she erupted yet again, her whole body writhing beneath him. He planted his head in between her legs, holding them in place as her orgasm brought the scream he'd promised. She could hear his own moans of pleasure against her as she came, his tongue and mouth moving to lap up her essence.

She came back down slowly in spasms, feeling him in every inch of her body. Finally she felt as though she was able to form a cohesive thought, she looked down to find his chin resting just above her pelvic bone, grinning devilishly at her.

"How you holding up there, rockstar?" He asked, kissing her stomach and licking his lips. Ciara smiled back at him, her breathing still shallow.

"Come back up here and I'll tell you." She breathed. In moments he was on top of her again, kissing her slowly. The taste of her combined with him was a new kind of erotic she had never experienced. She pulled his head toward her, and rotating their position slightly she grabbed his shoulders with both hands, kissing his neck. He held her with both arms, hands splayed across her bare back.

"I don't think I'll ever get tired of this." He mused.

"Mmmm," she said in between kisses against his neck. "Agreed. Can we just stay in bed? Like... forever?"

"Fine by me," Ben replied playfully, a grin spreading across his features as he held her. Ciara smiled, perfectly content to stay exactly as they were the rest of the night, the week... or the rest of their lives.

-••••-


	14. I Could Not Ask For More

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Of the chapters I have completed thus far, this one is far and away my favorite. When I pictured Cin afterglow, this song was all I could think about, so I couldn't help but name the chapter after it. Take a listen :)
> 
> https://youtu.be/4yGuy6mcxI0
> 
> As always, I appreciate and am humbled by your feedback and lovely words. I love the Cin fam. ❤ Enjoy friends!

_As Ciara looked around her, though the room seemed to be out of focus and there was no furniture, she immediately recognized it as the living room of the Horton house. Everything seemed dim, blurry... it was eerie._

_A man stood with his back to her, in front of where the fireplace should have been. He did not move. Fear gripped her throat, but she refused to feel powerless, never again._

_"...Who are you?" She said, bold and clear._

_He didn't respond, finally she recognized his profile - this was the man who'd broken into the DiMera mansion._

_"This is it, Ciara. We have to face it." Ben's voice spoke quietly, he appeared at her left. He reached his hand to her, and she took it quickly. "You have to remember."_

_"What do you mean? Why is he here?"_

_The faceless man finally spoke, turning to face her. "Remember, Ciara - pursue."_

\---

Ciara awoke with a start, a voice echoing in her head that seemed familiar but she could not place. Whatever her dream had been it must have been strange, but she couldn't remember a thing. She felt alert, adrenaline was running through her veins. Bad dreams weren't uncommon for her, at least since a few years ago. Rather than entertain those thoughts, or trying to remember her dream, she focused on the rising and falling of Ben's chest as her head laid against it; on the light pressure of his hands holding her to his body carefully.

The strong, steady sound of his heartbeat evaporated any fear in her, and she smiled. He had remained unmoved even though she was now wide awake. With the stress of the previous days behind them - the break in at the mansion, not to mention the run ins with her mother and Claire at the park and everything that came with it - she was glad to move forward. And they would do it together, united. Ciara felt the resolve and assuredness she had in her relationship rise up. Ben stirred slightly, wrapping his arms tighter around her. She carefully slid upwards, and he sleepily brought his hand up to her hair, kissing her forehead. Warmth radiated from the spot he'd kissed down to her feet. They were finally together with no secrets, lies, or other people trying to come between them. And of course, they way they'd made love... she flushed just replaying it in her head. She smiled to herself, confident in the man holding her.

But remnants of the dream she couldn't remember made her feel alert again. Unable to shake it, she got up, finding Ben's shirt. She put it on quickly with a shiver, an open window had made the room cold. Another sound began to fill the room as she realized he'd left the window cracked open - it had begun to rain. Standing in front of the sheer curtains, she was able to watch the rainfall in the moonlight. The grounds really were beautiful, she had to admit.

Something about rain had always fascinated Ciara. It was a calming agent to her always moving mind. She needed it now... What was it about the dream that she couldn't seem to shake? But even watching the calm, gentle drizzle, anxiety started to creep in. What was causing this fear she couldn't push away? Ben turned slightly in the bed. Holding his shirt to her nose she inhaled, his scent in the collar. Ciara felt a slight relief - his smell was one of her favorites, calming and securing. And his presence meant that she was safe, always.

\---

Ben awoke groggily, gently stretching out carefully in place so as not to wake Ciara. Based on the darkness of the room it was the middle of the night. But he was quickly unconcerned with the time as he realized she wasn't there.

"Ciara?" His hand searched groggily. The bed was warm, as if another figure had been there recently, but was empty.

"It started raining." Ciara said quietly.

He looked to see she was standing in front of the window, clad only in his shirt. Ben looked at her carefully, in disbelief at how beautiful she was even in a shirt alone. The moonlight gave only a slight illumination of her face, which seemed thoughtful. He got out of bed, pulling on his boxers and pajama pants from nearby. He tried to gauge what could be happening in her mind as he moved quietly.

Ciara didn't move as Ben came up behind her. Slowly he took a deep breath and leaned in, kissing her shoulder gently. She leaned into him, and he breathed in the scent of her hair. Ben wrapped his arms around her from behind, his head fitting perfectly between her neck and shoulder. Ciara made a contented noise as he kissed her neck, her hands holding his forearms to her.

"I didn't want to wake you," she started, but he shook his head.

"You didn't. As a matter of fact, I can already tell I sleep better with you." He said, she smiled and leaned her head up to him and he kissed her lightly. "I just didn't know where you were."

"I had a dream." Ciara said quietly, caressing his arm, feeling the hairs stand up as she did.

"What happened?"

"I'm not sure. When I woke up I couldn't remember. But I felt... anxious." She admitted. Ben nodded.

"I'm sorry, babe. It's over now." He whispered. kissing the side of her head. She smiled again, gripping his arms to her.

"Mmmm. I'm better now." She leaned her head against his, together they stood in comfortable silence, watching the rain.

"I'm prone to bad dreams, too." After a few moments he finally admitted. "Usually I wake up a few times a night, sometimes in a cold sweat." He said carefully. Ben didn't want to recall or share the entire truth of his dreams with Ciara... they were usually reenactments of the horrors he had committed when he was out of his mind. But he found that he couldn't help himself but to tell her.

"That's awful. I'm sorry." Ciara said soothingly, but he shook his head again.

"Don't be. Tonight was the first night since I can remember that my own screams didn't wake me up." Ben said quietly. Ciara tensed in his arms. Ben realized his error and immediately tried letting her go. But she grabbed him with both hands, holding his arms against her.

"No, Ben, don't. Stay here with me." Ciara said firmly. His arms relaxed, though only slightly - he wanted to hide. His every impulse was at war with itself. Simultaneously he wanted to bury himself in Ciara but also protect himself from anyone seeing him this vulnerable. His arms tensed again.

"Don't run from this. Don't run from me." She moved his hand to rest over her heart. "Feel that? That's me. That's my heartbeat. It's real. I'm right here. It's just you and me." She turned in his arms, facing him. His faced was pained, she could see his mind racing with fear. Ciara placed her hand over his heart. "Breathe, Ben. Look at me." She held his hand to her heart and left her hand over his. "You are not that man anymore. You are not a killer. I trust you completely, with every part of me. My body, my mind, and my heart." She squeezed his hands, and his eyes filled with tears.

"Ciara, I love you so much." He said, his hands moving from her heart to cup her face. He quickly pulled her to him, and she wrapped her arms around his neck simultaneously. He kissed her hungrily, his hands plunging down her back. His knees bent and suddenly lifted her off the ground. She was surprised, but it was pure instinct and need that caused her legs to wrap around his waist. His hands cupped her thighs with both hands, holding her tightly to him.

Ciara's tongue dove into his mouth hungrily, and he obliged with a small moan at the back of his throat. Ciara splayed kisses across his shoulders as Ben walked them back to the bed, holding her head as he laid her down.

There was a different kind of urgency to this time, she thought to herself. He needed her in a more visceral way than she had ever experienced with Tripp, and she needed him in the same way. As she kissed him, he undid the one button she'd faceted on his shirt so that her chest was bare between them. His mouth never leaving her body, he kissed her chin down to her clavicle, then to her navel. Instinctually she opened her legs further as his head dove below her pelvis. He wasted no time letting his tongue go to work. She cried out almost immediately; his pace so fast she couldn't think.

"Ahhh," she panted, hands fisting their way into his hair.

Ben seemingly didn't come up for air, he was relentless. Alternating between his fingers and tongue, it didn't take long for her to feel herself climbing. She moaned loudly, her thighs squeezing his head between her legs. Ben gripped her thighs tightly, his hand wrapping around her leg and resting on her navel. He lifted her knee so she was flexing, the angle of his mouth inside her changing so quickly she had no time to recover. She felt him groan, it vibrated against her thigh, sending her climbing even higher. He was trying to make her come apart at the seams, she thought. She reached for his shoulders, wanting him inside her but not knowing how to communicate it.

"Ben, please," was all she managed. He seemed to understand it though, and pulled her thighs toward him on the bed, sliding her completely beneath him. Never breaking eye contact he tore his pants and boxers off and kissed her desperately, tongue consuming her mouth. She grabbed for his hips, pulling him toward her. Simultaneously he grabbed one of her legs, pushing his way inside her.

"Ciara," he breathed. Hearing her name called to her most primal instincts, she dragged her nails down his lower back. He began to move, and she clung to him for dear life. He maintained eye contact with her, every move deliberate. She brought her hands to his face, drowning in his hungry gaze.

Ben kissed her again, that same desperate feel to it. All of a sudden it dawned on her - he was making love to her this way to express how much he needed her. Sex didn't have to just be transactional, not just because someone "wants" it. This was cathartic, a way of showing love, of expressing intimacy. The realization made Ciara's heart swell. His continued his steady thrusts above her - he was close. Their eyes never left one another's.

"Ben, I love you," she said between bated breaths.

Hearing her words he somehow pushed into her deeper, harder. Moments later she came yet again, this time with a loud cry in his ear. She bucked her hips against him and he cried out her name. Ciara knew he had been holding back with everything he could, so it was no surprise that moments after her, she felt him going over the edge himself. She wrapped her legs around him again, wanting to feel him to come inside her.

Ben shifted so that his weight was partially on top of her, his hands in her hair as he kissed her. She liked the pressure of him on top of her, just the right weight to keep her pinned but not restrictive. They laid like that for a while, kissing and holding each other. Eventually Ben broke their kiss and looked at her. She brought her hand to his face, tracing his forehead and nose with a contented smile. He grabbed it, kissed it, and intertwined their fingers.

"You are amazing, you know that?" He asked, moving her to the side so they faced each other. As he pulled out of her she winced slightly. He immediately smiled. "I kind of lost it there for a minute... sorry."

Ciara stretched, grinning. "I am definitely not complaining." He smiled sheepishly.

"I'm sorry if I was... well. I wasn't really thinking. I just - I needed to be with you." Ben admitted quietly. Ciara gulped as quietly as she could.

"I know, me too. I didn't... I didn't know it could feel like that. Like we were," Ciara searched for the words. "Like we were taking care of each other." She said almost skeptically. Ben immediately nodded, his eyes in agreement.

"I didn't either. I've never been with anyone like that. That close, that intimate... only you." He smiled, seemingly in awe of her. It made Ciara's heart skip a beat. He leaned his forehead to hers, one of her new favorite pastimes. Their noses touched and she smiled, her hand absentmindedly going to his neck.

"I don't know if I'll be able to fall asleep now unless you're holding me." Ciara said, leaning into his chest.

"Me neither," he said, kissing her lightly. She giggled, settling onto his chest as he laid on his back. He tightened his grip on her, again somehow knowing that's what she'd wanted.

"Now, I know that I'm irresistible, but we should probably try to get some sleep." She said softly. He chuckled a murmur in agreement, already halfway there.

"No more bad dreams, for either of us." Ben whispered, again kissing her forehead. She held him tightly.

"Nothing bad can happen as long as we're together." Ciara whispered back, kissing his chest as they both drifted off to sleep.

-••••-


	15. Wildest Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well friends, after life gave me a few swift kicks, I thought my inspiration was down for the count. But some encouraging words from fellow writers and good friends, as well as some amazing works posted out of our fandom has gotten me back in the saddle. Inspiration has struck yet again and I’m ready to dive back in! Onscreen, Ben and Ciara have definitely been getting more physical, so I thought it only right that they should continue to follow suit here... enjoy, friends. Thank you, for all the kind words, and as always for putting up with me 😂

Soft light was slowly filling the bedroom, even though her eyes were closed, Ciara could feel it. Try as she might, she grudgingly accepted she was awake. Stretching out in place she felt a pleasant kind of soreness, and a corresponding flushed smile when she remembered how it came to be. Ben's firm figure to the side stirred, his arm tightening around her waist, pulling her into his chest.

Careful not to move in a way that would wake him, she leaned her head up slightly, her head just below his. Ciara couldn’t help but marvel at the man beneath her - sleep had softened the deeply serious look he normally wore. He looked younger, the most at peace she'd seen his face since she'd known him. The stubble accumulating on his face made it look more angular, especially on his strong jaw. His thick eyelashes rested against the olive tone of his skin in a way that fascinated her so much she wanted to brush her fingertips over his cheeks. Ciara shook her head slightly - he was beautiful. And somehow, some way, he wanted _her_. It was her that he was wrapped around this morning, her name that he'd called out the night before, her that he loved. She smiled, wrapping both arms around him, her head burrowing into his chest comfortably as he stirred.

"Good morning." He whispered groggily. She grinned, he pulled her toward him and kissed the top of her head. Ciara propped her chin on his chest, looking up at him.

"Good morning." She whispered back, unable to contain the smile on her face. "How did you sleep?" Ciara asked, stroking his face.

At this his eyes opened fully, looking at her like a blind man seeing for the first time. An effortless grin spread across his features, Ciara's heart skipped multiple beats as he brought his hand to caress her face. "Better than I have in my whole life. I guess falling asleep holding you was the secret all along."

Ciara beamed back at him, warmth extending through her whole body. She leaned down and kissed his chest lightly. "Me too." Settling her head back against him, absentmindedly tracing the small valleys of his abdomen with her index finger. He hummed slightly in approval, bringing his hand to hers and interlocking their fingers. Ciara's eyes closed, a smile plastered onto her face as she heard the steady, strong sound of his heartbeat below her.

"I think I could stay in this bed with you for the rest of my life and be just fine." Ciara said, her other arm wrapping around his back. He looked down at her, pulling her in close, his face nuzzling into her hair.

"I can get on board with that." Ben whispered, kissing the top of her head. His arm tightened around her, pulling her into him as he kissed down her temple. A slight gasp popped out of her mouth when he moved her hair away from her ear and began to nibble on the lobe. As his mouth moved down her neck their position changed, with him nearly on top of her.

"Mmm, you taste even better this morning." He whispered into her ear. Ciara giggled, wrapping an arm around his shoulders as his weight pressed her into the bed gently. His mouth and tongue moved down her chest, planting itself in between her breasts. She gasped, feeling her nipples harden immediately, her nails pressing into his shoulders. He squeezed and and molded her breast in his hand slowly, his index finger and thumb taunting her nipple. Ciara was couldn't think with any semblance of clarity - especially when he replaced his fingers with his mouth, sucking on the top of her breast, then moving to the other. Simultaneously his other hand slid down her stomach, reaching down between her inner thigh and her lips. Her back arched automatically when his fingers stopped teasing and stretched in to immediately find her clit.

"Ahhh," Ciara moaned. Ben smiled, releasing her breast. She looked down at him, the heat behind his gaze took her breath away.

"Take a breath baby, we've got a long day ahead of us. I want you every way I can think of... I think I'll start with my tongue." Ben vowed. Immediately he kissed her lower stomach, his fingers continuing to tease her.

"Yes, please," She gasped. He smiled as kissed her stomach, down to her upper thigh.

"Mmm... You're so wet already, just from me sucking on those perfect tits." He whispered against her. Ciara could only shut her eyes and try to breathe, just his words made her climb higher and higher. His hand went down again between her legs, she gasped when his index finger went inside her. "You like when I tease you like this?" He swirled around his finger, pressing into her.

"Ah, yes," Ciara whimpered.

"Tell me what you want." Ben said, pulling her beneath him completely. Their eyes met and she could barely focus, her mouth reaching for his - he pulled back before she could reach it. "Tell me what to do, Ciara."

"Your mouth, I want your mouth." She gasped.

"Where, baby?"

"Everywhere, please," she begged. He immediately crashed his mouth into hers, his tongue unrelenting. All too soon he pulled away, leaving her practically panting. She felt him hardening beneath her, his mouth and tongue working their way down her chest to her stomach. There was something persistent in her that was relishing every moment, but still wanted more. It was when his hands came up again to cup her breasts she realized what it was - grabbing his wrists and using the only moment of surprise she may have, she pushed with all her might to get him on his side. His face took on the mixture of awe and worship that aroused her almost as much as the rest of him. Quickly wrapping her leg over his hips, she planted her hands on his stomach. His length pressed against her leg and she looked down at him, feeling nervous. He smiled.

"My god, you are perfect." Ben said quietly, his hands sliding up her legs to hold her hips in place. She felt herself flush at his words, which was ridiculous considering their position. But this feeling was completely new to her - the way she wanted to be completely his, but also the desire to take control... To let the passion and sheer want he brought out of her overtake them both.

Ciara ground against his hips slightly, feeling the desperation rising inside her. Ben flashed a wicked smirk, then keeping one hand on her hip used the other to guide himself inside her inch by inch. As soon as she felt it she sighed, feeling him fill her up was the most incredible thing she'd ever experienced. And from this angle she could move with him the way she'd envisioned. He guided her hips against him slowly, relishing the languid pace the morning brought. There was no rush, no one to interrupt them, nothing to keep them apart. Ciara smiled, feeling every hard inch of him push deeper into her. Her eyes didn't leave his as she started to move against him, and he nodded slightly in approval. She felt her heart squeeze, again in awe at how he seemed to understand her silent questions and ease her fears at the same time.

Ben slid his long fingers slid up her stomach, between her breasts, all the way up to grip where her neck and shoulder met. Ciara wrapped a hand around his arm to balance better as she rocked her hips back and forth. Gaining her confidence, she bucked harder against him once, and immediately his eyes shut as his breathing got harder.

"That's right - keep moving, baby." Ben purred, the sound of his lust ridden voice went straight to the heat rising between her thighs. The tight way he held her hips combined with his throaty moans made Ciara feel drunk with power. She wanted to feel him to come apart at her movements, her hands, her body. He moved his hands up to squeeze her breasts, and she couldn't keep from crying out. Deeper and deeper she sank into him, feeling herself close to her peak as she flipped her head backward, arching her back. His hands quickly went to her thighs, holding her in place.

"Ah, Ciara," He choked out, fingers gripping her thighs just above the back of her knees. His deep moans were fanning the flames burning in her lower belly. He watched her closely, but he was so close to his peak that his eyes closed and he began to thrust against Ciara's hips at a pace so fast she cried out, unable to contain her orgasm any longer.

"Ah, oh god! Ben!" She cried out above him, grinding hard against him until finally she felt herself exploding around him. Coming down loudly from her climax, she placed her hands on top of his around her waist, squeezing them to urge him forward. She never wanted to stop feeling him. He continued to move deep inside her, and moments later the feel of his orgasm filling her nearly made her come again. He choked out her name yet again, holding her so tight she was sure he'd left a mark. The thought made her feel connected to him in a visceral, sexy way that she'd never knew was possible - especially for her. Who knew this passionate, shameless Ciara existed? As she looked down at him, his eyes were full of utter contentment and wonder.

"I love you." She breathed.

"I love you." He heaved, his own breathing still settling into a normal rhythm. She leaned down, placing her hands on his shoulders, still straddling him, and he pulled her into a deep kiss. Moving her hair from her face with one hand, the other hand stretched across her lower back. Slowly his tongue found its way into her mouth, and she wrapped her arms around his head carefully, letting her full weight rest on top of him.

After a few minutes of their mouths trying to outdo one another, though Ciara's lips felt swollen and her limbs felt like molten lava... she knew she'd never felt safer, happier or more cherished than she did right then. Holding him carefully, her tongue continued its dance with his slowly and deliberately. She finally broke the kiss only to move to his neck, he automatically turned his head to the side. Remembering the previous night, her hand reached to his head, running her fingers through his thick hair.

"Mmmm," Ben immediately purred, his hands flexing against her back. Settling on a spot just below his earlobe, Ciara sucked and kissed gently. His hand found the back of her head, fingers in her hair holding her in place. Never lifting her mouth from his body, she worked her way to his clavicle, then to the center of his chest. Her arms sliding up his shoulders, she could feel him shudder beneath her. She smiled against his chest and gulped slightly - his body was incredible. Lifting her head slightly she looked down at the perfect planes and sections of his chest and started licking them one by one.

"Ciara," he rasped. Hearing her name only drove her further.

"Do me a favor," she gasped between open mouthed kisses. "And never bother with a shirt. You taste so amazing," she said in a daze, biting down on his nipple. Ben moaned, his fingers diving into her hair to pull her closer. Running her nose down his chest, her tongue moved to his hips, finding the start of the deep V of his abdomen. She licked and kissed sloppily, able to taste the slight amount of sweat that had pooled on his skin. Ciara moaned against him, the taste of him so delicious she squirmed. His hips rocked against her head slightly as she continued sucking just above his pelvic bone.

"Right there," he whispered, clearly entranced. She was more than happy to continue, the sound of his soft groans of pleasure were addicting. Her hands slid up his chest, gripping his pecs. He pulled her arms up, sliding her back on top of him into a deep kiss. After a few moments she lifted her head, and he moved her hair from her face.

"Do you know how beautiful you are? I could make love to you all day," Ben said, his voice gravelly.

"You promise?" Ciara replied with a smile. Ben grinned, pulling her mouth back to his, rotating so they were on each other's sides facing one another. Never lifting his mouth from hers, his arms wrapped around her shoulders and back, pulling him to her. It felt like the easiest, most natural thing to do the same. She pulled the bed sheet around them both, his leg wrapped around hers as they kissed. Ciara smiled against his lips - this kind of closeness and intimacy was something she'd always wanted, though it felt impossible after what had happened to her. Even the thought of being any other person always brought questions she could never answer - Would she ever trust anyone enough to give herself to them so completely? Could anyone understand her needs and boundaries enough to wait? Would she ever want someone that much?

It was clear to her now that Ben was what she had been waiting for, and vice versa. It was him who made her feel alive and safe and protected and passionate, the person she'd always wanted to be versus the person her trauma had forced her to be. She felt a tie to him that she'd never felt to anyone, stronger and more consuming than anything before, and she knew he did too. She knew what it meant - They belonged to each other.


	16. Learning Curves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello again friends! Though this update took me the longest, I hope you find it to be worth the wait. Since this is my story, I realized Cin’s afterglow goes on as long as I want it to, so I figured I could stretch it out for at least 1 more chapter... 😜
> 
> Enjoy. As always I love constructive feedback. Thank you for your kind comments and words, and just in general for being the best fandom I’ve ever been a part of. ❤️

Waking again, Ciara felt the sunlight now filling the room completely. She smiled to herself, reaching next to her only to find the bed empty. She immediately sat up, looking around while holding the bed sheet to her. A sweet but savory smell caught her attention. As it became more pronounced, recognition clicked internally and she smiled. Sitting up, she could hear the sizzle of a cast iron pan in the kitchen toward the front of the guesthouse. Ben's head peeked around the corner. "Good morning, beautiful. Again." He smiled like a little boy at her, wide and bright. She couldn't help but laugh at his expression.

"Mind telling me what you're doing over there that's so important it took you from this bed?"

"It's a surprise. Come see," He teased. Ciara could hear the grin in his voice as she got up, grabbing his shirt and fastening a few buttons hastily. Reaching the kitchen she leaned against the wall quietly, watching him from the side. His hair was disheveled – she could only imagine what hers looked like – and he wore his pajama pants only, not bothering with a shirt, his perfectly sculpted chest exposed... Ciara approved.

Just the sight of him made her stomach flutter and her heart rate quicken. But it was his expression that made her heart swell: his eyes were bright but focused as he flipped a pancake from the skillet up in the air and back down. He bit his lip in excitement upon catching it perfectly, and Ciara grinned. She quietly watched him repeat the process a few more times, so focused he didn't see her. He went over to another part of the stove to finish a plate clearly meant for her: it rested on a tray with what looked to be fruit and yogurt, and a single dahlia resting to the side. A smile spread across her face involuntarily and warmth spread from her chest to every part of her - he had done all of that just for her? Ciara shook her head slightly in disbelief, allowing herself to float in the feeling she never thought she would experience for a few moments. Finally, he flipped another pancake, and she then clapped a few times making her presence known.

"Very impressive." She said with a smile.

"Why, thank you." Ben said with a small bow and grin.

She giggled slightly stepping toward him, biting her lip. His eyes went down her figure, his smile changing from innocent to dangerous almost immediately. He licked his lips right as Ciara's arms reached up around his neck, his hands settled around her waist point pulling her close to him.

"You know, most girls think guys who can cook are pretty sexy." She said, her lips just inches from his. Ben smiled.

"Oh yeah?" Ben said, squeezing her back once, sending a shiver through her. "I feel like I've heard that before. But, you know... I'm not really interested in most what girls think."

"Is that right?" Ciara asked, raising her eyebrows. His hands lowered, resting on her bottom.

"Yep - Just one. And she's definitely not a girl - she's one hell of a woman." Ben whispered into her ear. Ciara smiled as he moved her hair, kissed her temple, and then finding the spot where her shoulder and neck met began to nibble softly. Her eyes automatically shut when his tongue made contact with her skin, a needy sigh escaping before she could stop it. His hands held her tight as a vice, his scent overtaking any coherent thought. "She's sexy as hell. She drives me crazy, I want her every second." He growled as his mouth reattached to her neck. Ciara leaned back in Ben's arms, her head falling backward as he kissed more of her neck and worked down to her clavicle.

"Ah," she panted, suddenly not concerned with breakfast but instead how much she wanted him to take her right then, against the wall, on the floor, or maybe even on the counter...

"And she tastes... unbelievable." He whispered against her lips, interrupting the daydreams she was having. Pulling her into a rough kiss, his tongue immediately took over her mouth, and her legs went to liquid beneath her. He must have felt it because yet again he picked her up under her thighs, and she wrapped her legs around him. But soon he'd seated her on the hard marble of the countertop and stepped back, she opened her eyes and found they were eye level to each other.

"Suddenly I'm starving," she teased, his eyes hungrily taking her in.

"I know the feeling." He growled, his hands going under the shirt to grip her hips.

"Ben," Ciara breathed, his thumbs stretching across her thighs, gently squeezing just once. She leaned forward to kiss him but he stepped backward to turn off the burner, never taking his eyes off her.

"Do you know how hard it makes me every time you say my name?" He growled, placing his hands under her knees, pulling her toward him so she was up against chest. Ciara sighed, again amazed at how easily he could reduce her to breathy moans, how quickly he could make her so wet. She looked down at his pants, swallowing at the size of his very evident hard on.

"No... you should show me." She dared.

His eyes on her lips, both of his hands cupped her face, pulling her into a needy kiss. Her legs wrapped around his torso, and her hands went to his back, reaching down the back of his sweats to cup his buttocks. He released her mouth slightly when she squeezed one of his muscular cheeks, letting out a huff of breath. Ben moved his hands to the buttons on her shirt, making quick work of them and flinging it open. Keeping one arm around his shoulders, she used the other to pull down one side of his joggers.

"Get these off - I want you inside me. Right now." Ciara ordered. His eyes practically caught fire as he looked at her, helping her pull his pants down as fast as she'd ever seen him move.

"Yes ma'am." Ben whispered roughly as she grabbed his hips and he slammed into her.

"Ah!" Ciara cried out, gripping his shoulders. He held her steady for a few seconds, then shoved his way into her again, so hard her head flung backward. She wrapped both of her arms around him, as his hand went up to grip her hair at the nape of her neck. He tugged down gently, her chest automatically rising in response. Ben's tongue laved from chin to clavicle, Ciara's hands moved to his arms, pulling him toward her. He pulled her hair harder and she almost screamed, she knew they'd have to explore it further as it practically made her come right there.

"Oh... naughty girl, you like it when I pull your hair?" Ben rasped.

"Mhmm," Ciara nodded in response, unable to use any further words. He was holding back. She was at his mercy, and he knew it.

"Mmm, I'll remember that. I love your hair... And those breasts... But your pussy is my current favorite part of you. It's so wet and tight right now," he purred, slowing down. He surged into her once more, painfully slowly.

"Ben, don't stop," she begged.

"Don’t worry, baby, I think it's gonna be a long day." Ben said with a smirk, his fingers replacing his cock. A few moments after he pulled his hand out and brought it to his mouth.

"You taste so fucking sweet." He said, licking his lips. Ciara panted, her hands reaching for his stomach to pull his hips to her. She could feel his erection hovering just below her entrance... it was driving her absolutely crazy.

"Ben," she begged for him again, and he smiled.

"I know, I know." He said, Ciara looked down to see him gripping his erection. She immediately reached her hand to grip him. He hissed out a breath through his teeth as she grabbed hold, moving her hand back and forth slightly. Though they were again in territory she wasn’t certain of, clearly she was doing something right.

"Ahh," Ben sighed. Ciara didn't take her eyes off his as she stroked him up and down, the sudden image her her mouth replacing her hand flashed in her brain. She smiled as she continued to stroke him, feeling him lean into her.

“Trying to finish me off right here?" He panted, gripping the counter with one hand, clearly trying to keep his composure.

Ciara nodded. "I want you to."

"Ah, Ciara, fuck!" Ben groaned as she stroked him up and down. She grinned back at him.

“You know, I love it when you say my name too. When you say it when you come... it makes me so wet." She whispered, one hand stroking him and the other gripping his shoulder. His eyes were closed, he moaned in rhythm with her hand movements. Finally, she squeezed his shaft slightly as she stroked and it was his undoing. She held him close against her as he thrust slightly, panting as he came in her hand and on her stomach.

Ciara felt triumphant as she felt his heavy breaths, and even the cum on her stomach - it was as satisfying as she’d imagined and then some. Ben leaned against her, his hand swept her hair behind her head, holding her face closer to his, and she leaned forward to kiss his shoulder. Leaning backward slightly, he grabbed the head of his cock and cleaned it off, pushing it back into his sweats. Suddenly his face changed, awkwardness filling his features as he looked around him. Grabbing a dishtowel he handed it to her, flushing slightly.

“Here. I didn’t mean to... well, that’s just not exactly how I thought that would go.” Ben said, looking to the side. Ciara’s eyes hadn’t moved from him, she wiped her stomach once and grabbed his chin. Looking him in the eyes, she took her still sticky hand and brought her index finger to her mouth, sucking it carefully. He gulped, staring as she sucked her other fingers clean of his cum. 

“Funny... that’s pretty much exactly how I wanted it to go.” She crooned, though his eyes remained uncertain.

“Ciara, I don’t want to push you. Or make you feel like you have to do something you’re not ready for. I mean, I’ve wanted you for months and making love to you is,” he stopped mid-sentence, unsure how to deliver what he meant. “I know that a lot of this is new for you. I want it to be special for you, always. I never want you to feel like-“ Ciara cocked her head to the side, trying to figure out his meaning.

“Ben, what are you trying to say exactly?”

“It’s just - look, me coming all over you in the kitchen isn’t exactly romantic.” Ben shook his head, looking down. Ciara nodded once, smiling at him.

“Maybe that depends on who you ask?” She said playfully, sucking on another finger. He rolled his eyes slightly. “Because I can’t think of anything more romantic than you making me breakfast and then totally tossing it aside because you want me as badly as I want you.” He smiled shyly, looking to the side. She grabbed his chin again, forcing him to look her in the eyes. Suddenly she could feel both of their vulnerabilities, and especially how exposed he felt. She took a quick breath.

“Look - not everything is going to be like The Princess Bride. We aren’t going to do everything perfectly with each other. That’s not reality.” Ben shook his head, looking at her quizzically.

“I loved that movie as a kid... but what does that have to do with this?”

Ciara grinned. “So did I. I loved the story, because even though it wasn’t perfect, that’s what made it romantic. Like us. You make me feel things I never even thought I could. You make me want things I never even knew were possible. I need to make love to you. I don’t want to wake up without you, even if it’s because you want to make me breakfast. Face it Ben Weston, I am crazy about you. I need you.” She said, with a smirk, wrapping her arms around his neck. Finally his face relaxed.

“So what you’re saying is, you’re not freaked out by what just happened?”

She shook her head carefully, a smile spreading across her face. “No. Now, was it unexpected... Yeah, okay, maybe. But we’re going to be doing a lot of that, I think. And I am looking forward to doing a lot more with you that I’ve never done before.” She purred, leaning into him. Ben smiled, arms around her waist.

“Yeah, me too.” Ben’s hands moved up her bare back, then forward to cup her breasts. She kept her eyes on him as he did, and when she saw the silent question flash in his eyes, she placed her hands over his. 

“Mmm, harder, baby.” Ciara moaned. Ben sighed, squeezing her breasts and molding them in his skilled hands. Her head immediately fell back as he leaned forward to kiss her neck. Getting him off minutes before had left her plenty wet, so much so that just him touching and kissing her chest might make her come right then on the counter. His hands slid up to her shoulders, pulling his shirt completely off her. It fell down her shoulders and she pushed it behind her, his eyes took her in hungrily. She flushed slightly, tucking her hair behind her ears. Ben traced his finger across her shoulder blade, resting it on her bottom lip. Ciara opened her mouth slightly, and he swept the inside of her lip. Smiling slightly she bit his fingertip. He immediately sucked in a breath through his teeth, then licked his lips.

“Do you know how sexy you are?” He said in a low growl. “I am a lucky guy. And, speaking of things we haven’t tried... I think I went way too fast last night.” He kissed the space in between her breasts, then just above her navel. Ciara reached forward to kiss him, but he pulled back with a dangerous smirk.

“I’ve wanted you for so long, part of me just couldn’t hold back. But now, I’m going to take my time. And I want to see how many times I can make you come on my tongue. Breakfast can wait," Ben winked at her, his hand resting on top of her sex, then sliding up her stomach. He pushed slightly, his intent clear. Ciara leaned backward, her back against the countertop, he quickly reached for the shirt for her head to rest on. She watched his movements, careful and deliberate as his fingers went inside her. Her back arched automatically as his head dipped down, and he lifted her leg with one hand. As soon as she felt his tongue, her hands went for his hair. He was sucking her clit so hard she couldn't breathe. A few moments of this was all she could take before she was a moment away from climaxing - and then he pulled back, wiping his chin. She started panting almost on queue.

"Mmmm, you are the most delicious thing I've ever tasted." He said, raising his head from her. Ciara groaned beneath him, breathing so hard she couldn’t form a word. His lips gleamed, and he smiled at her like a kid with his hand in the cookie jar. "You took me by surprise this morning, riding me like that... I don't think I've ever come so hard,” His voice was laced with heat and completely filthy, Ciara moaned in response. Would she ever get used to the way he talked to her? "So I'm taking it slow. I'm tasting every inch of your sweet pussy until you're screaming for me." He vowed. Ciara's back arched as he dove back down, lightly dragging his teeth up her inner thigh and sucking to the side of her entrance.

"Right there, OH!” Ciara cried out. He was sucking hard again; this time adding his fingers simultaneously - two, then three... again she could barely breathe. Suddenly he grabbed her calves, draping her legs over his shoulders, her feet touching the middle of his back. The change of angle would do her in, she squeezed his head as tightly as she could with her thighs.

“Yes! Ben!” Ciara shouted. He moaned, and with his tongue so deep inside her flicking her clit perfectly again and again she felt herself shatter into a thousand pieces. As she came he sucked her clit even harder, and she couldn't hold back the scream that felt like it came from every part of her body. She writhed in place, her hips bucking against his head. It was the most intense orgasm yet. Breathing heavily, he lifted his head and wiped his lips, gazing at her.

"God, Ciara. Every time just makes me want you more than before." Ben gasped, kissing the top of her sex. Trying to catch her breath, Ciara brought a hand to his face, caressing his cheek. He leaned in and kissed her palm, grinning. Grabbing her hand and pulling her back to a sitting position, she grabbed his face with both hands and kissed him hard, the taste of herself mixed with him clouding her mind. Quickly grabbing her waist, he pulled her to him and swung his arm under her legs, carrying her bridal style. He was about to set her back down on the floor when she pressed her nails into his shoulders, stopping him.

"Take me back to bed, Ben." Ciara whispered. His eyes widened.

"Really? What about break-" she silenced him with a kiss, and he moaned against her lips. She pulled back, leaning her nose against his.

"It can wait." Ciara smirked. Ben returned her wide smile, kissing her so hard it made her dizzy.

“As you wish,” he murmured. Ciara giggled as he walked them quickly back to the bed.

-••••-


	17. The New Normal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello again friends! As I’ve forced you to wait this long for it, it only seems fair that it’s the longest update yet. It took me longer than I care to admit to find inspiration to continue with this mini draught we’ve got going! But there is a whole lot of other great stories happening that have kept me going! Special shout out to the lovely Katie Marie on twitter - go read her story, will ya? She’s been an amazing motivator for me ❤️ https://m.fanfiction.net/s/13314717/1/
> 
> Enjoy, my Cin fam. I love y’all to bits. 
> 
> And depending on the interest level... I could be so inclined to post a... let’s call it an extended version of this chapter. ;)

Ciara let the water wash over her, running her fingers through her hair. The shower head - like everything in the gatehouse - was older, but brought enough pressure that it loosened the knots starting to form in her back. She took a deep breath as the steam began to rise, grabbing her shampoo. More than a few of her things had made their way from the loft to the gatehouse in the weeks since the blow up in the park. Claire's distaste at Ciara allowing Tripp to move out had evolved from glares to full blown silent treatment. But after finding out about her plot to split up her and Tripp - and how she'd pulled Ben into it - the feeling was quite mutual.

They'd grown so far apart, maybe coming back from this was impossible. But somehow, the thought of losing Claire for good made her heart sink. Even though the idea of trying to forgive her made her nauseous and moving on seemed light years away, Ciara wanted to find a way work it through. They were family, after all.

"Ugh!" She spat in frustration. Quickly she covered her mouth. Ben was fast asleep, after another long night patrolling the grounds keeping security as tight as possible. The last thing she wanted was him to wake to her arguing with herself in the shower. All because of her and her niece's disaster of a relationship… Why couldn't she just be like Claire and only focus on what she needed? Or be someone who could just cut people off? Why did she have to care so much? Almost instantly her grandma Caroline and her great grandmother Alice, her middle namesake, came to mind. The kindest, toughest, smartest, and most forgiving women she'd ever known. Of course she couldn't just cut a member of her own family out – that wasn't their way.

"Stupid Brady genes." She thought out loud, grabbing her shampoo bottle.

"I happen to like them, actually." A voice mused from behind, the curtain opening. Ciara smiled as Ben stepped into the shower behind her, moving her hair aside to kiss her neck and temple.

"I didn't want to wake you... I'm sorry. You've been up so late trying to figure out these weird things happening on the proper—" Ben silenced her with a kiss. Ciara hummed against his lips in approval. After a few moments he pulled back with a smile.

"You know I can't sleep past 7 anyway. That has nothing to do with... well, whatever's going on on the grounds. Besides, I would much rather be in here with you." He smiled wickedly, eyes darting down her body. One hand grabbed the bottle from her and the other pulled her into a kiss, this one deeper and more lingering. Ciara felt her arms wrap around his neck immediately, the heat of the shower amplifying with how much she already wanted him. With a smile he pulled back, causing a small pout from Ciara. He couldn't help but laugh. "Hang on, what kind of internal monologue did I interrupt?"

"I was just thinking about my living situation." Ciara replied with a sigh. Color drained from Ben's face as he opened his mouth to speak, though no sound escaped. She giggled slightly. "I meant Claire, and how the loft has become a bit of a warzone." She clarified with a smile, relief filling his features.

"She's still on the rampage, huh?" Ben asked, trying to shake off his awkwardness while squeezing shampoo into his hands.

"At this moment? I'm just wishing I was one of those laid back, easy going girls who can just cut off other people when it suits them."

"Hmmm... Doesn't sound like you." Ben smirked, his head cocking to one side. She smiled back at him.

"Exactly – that's the problem." Ciara said bitterly. At this he raised his eyebrows.

"No, problems are what Claire has, thinking it was okay to do that to you because of some weird fixation on Tripp. Problems are wanting to hurt other people, and thinking she can justify it. Your instinct to want to forgive her and move forward? That's not weakness, it's strength."

She stood still, trying to take in his perspective. "Now, how did you know that's where my mind went? Am I that predictable?"

"Ciara, she's your family. Of course you want to rectify things. And besides... I know you." Ben said simply. Ciara sighed, amazed at how well he understood her without her needing to say a word.

"Yeah, well... I? Am an idiot."

Ben chuckled slightly. "Hardly. But, I do think you need something else to focus on for a minute."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah. Turn around."

"What? Why?" Ciara questioned. Her stomach plummeted, making her voice far more high pitched than necessary.

"Do you trust me?" Ben asked with a smile.

"With my life."

"Turn around, and close your eyes." Ben repeated, his voice taking on the husky quality that made her thighs ache. She did as he told her, feeling him turn her back to him, the shower water hitting her stomach. "Close your eyes." He whispered, somehow knowing she hadn't yet. As her eyes shut, his hands immediately went to work, fingers lightly massaging all over her scalp - he was washing her hair. Her eyes shut now involuntarily - every single one of her nerve endings felt like it was on high alert. It felt so incredibly good, the grin spread over her face before she could stop it.

"Ohhh... wow." Ciara whispered, his fingers working their magic through her scalp, every movement dissolving the tension the thoughts of Claire had brought. Her head fell back involuntarily, as if he was putting her in a trance. Ben worked through what felt like every last hair on her head, then rotated her carefully to face him. She opened her eyes to find him smiling back at her. He leaned in to kiss her forehead.

"So, how are we feeling now?" Ben asked, leaning her head back so the water could rinse through her hair, his hands so careful yet strong. It was absolutely perfect, sending surges of warmth through her entire body.

"I am at your mercy, Ben Weston." She purred, knowing full well she meant every word.

"Hmmm... better not say things like that. I might get ideas." Ben said dangerously, his thumb tracing her collarbone.

"Maybe that's exactly why I said it - I like your ideas." Ciara said defiantly.

"I meant about you wanting things to be okay with Claire." Ben said carefully, though his eyes were still blazing back at her. Ciara sighed.

"See when you say it, it doesn't sound so ridiculous and naive."

"That's because it isn't."

"So, I'm not a total idiot for wanting to eventually be okay with Claire? Me being a big, family hearted sap isn't totally off base?"

"Not at all. You're kind, and forgiving. You're… you're good, Ciara. You can't just shut that off, and you don't want to. You're the best person with the best heart I've ever known. It's what made me fall in love with you, when I didn't think it was even possible." Ben said lovingly. Ciara couldn't help but smile, warmth flowing through her. She placed her hand on his chest. He quickly covered it with his.

"Funny, your heart did the same thing to me." Ciara leaned in, kissing the center of his chest. He wrapped his hands around her shoulders, she could feel him breathe in and out as she leaned back to look into his eyes. "You're good, too. All the way back in the cabin I saw it… how careful and good you were to me. And before I knew what was happening, I was falling in love with you." Ciara said, his hands massaged her shoulders but he said nothing.

"We're not talking about me," Ben replied, clearly uncomfortable with her words. Ciara shook her head, grabbing his face with her hands to force him to meet her gaze. His eyes were full of uncertainty.

"Ben,"

"No, Ciara - you didn't know me before. I wasn't like you. I wasn't the things you're saying. I — I'm one missed med away from —" Ciara placed her hand over his lips, forcing him to stop the utter lies coming from his mouth. Ciara traced her fingers over his cheek and up into his hair, he leaned into her touch.

"No. No, you're not. I see you for who you really are. Not for the things you've done or did, or the awful things that happened to you. I love you, Ben. For who you are, right now - in this moment." Ciara said, running her hand through his hair. Ben's eyes were latched onto hers, listening to every word. Moments like this didn't come often, where she knew he was in his least favorite position - truly vulnerable. She brought her other hand to the side of his face, and his arms wrapped around her as he leaned his forehead against hers.

"You're the man who rescued me off the side of the road, who talks me down from my dramatic impulses in the shower. Who washes my hair. Who takes my breath because he knows me and loves me so perfectly." Ciara finished. Ben took a deep breath.

"You're my best friend." He whispered against her forehead, kissing her hair as he pulled her into him. She reached for his jaw, craving his lips on hers. Again somehow reading her thoughts he kissed her lightly, pulling back slightly to cup her face in his hands. "God, I am so in love with you." As he leaned in to kiss her again, she felt her need for him rise up almost immediately. His long fingers held her chin and her jaw. Quickly her hands found his broad shoulders.

"I think it's my turn." Ciara whispered, pulling back from his passionate kiss while she still could.

"For what exactly?" His voice was gravelly as he laved kisses down her neck.

"To return the favor. We do should try to get clean at some point during this shower." Ciara managed to stammer out, reaching for his body wash. He released her neck as she did, biting his lip slightly, sending shivers all the way from her toes to the top of her spine. Squeezing the gel into her hands, it made a quick lather that she spread over his pecs, rubbing his shoulders, lightly massaging it down his arms. He stood as still as a statue, but let her move his arms freely. Idly she wondered the last time he had trusted anyone this much - the thought made a lump in her throat.

"Mmmm." His contented sigh made her heart skip a few beats. "I don't think I should be taking showers alone anymore - It's just so much easier with an extra set of hands." Ben murmured. Ciara smiled as she got more of his body wash.

"Oh, you haven't seen anything yet." Ciara whispered, leaning her forehead against his as she rubbed soap all over his stomach. He reached to kiss her, but she pulled back.

"Ah, ah... I am focused on the task at hand. Don't try to distract me." Ciara warned, causing a smile from him that made her knees go weak. "Now it's your turn."

"To what?"

"Turn around." She smirked. Quickly he did as she asked. Ciara bit her lip slightly... his back was admittedly a weakness of hers. Starting from the tops of his shoulders, she slid her hands down carefully, massaging as she went. The strong aroma of his body wash combined with the steam of the shower, and his hands all over her moments before had made her more than a little wanton. So much so that without thinking her hands were wrapping around his waist, and downward... his hands found hers as she traced the outline of his V and lower stomach.

"Ciara." Ben groaned. He spoke her name with the kind of reverence heard in prayer. She smiled to herself, kissing his back and shoulders. Her hands were acting of their own accord now, there was nothing she could do...

"Ciara!" Roman Brady's annoyed shout snapped her out of the very pleasant memory she was lost in. Looking around her, she was brought back to the present – the middle of her shift at the Pub, frozen in place in front of the coffee dispensers.

"Sorry! Sorry, Uncle Roman." Ciara replied, flustered. She was slightly flushed as the memory replayed in her mind, but tried to regain her composure.

"A little distracted today, are we?" Roman muttered, and she could hear the teasing in his voice. She hoped the flush in her cheeks was going down, her heart rate sure hadn't. "What's on your mind?" He asked.

"Well, the semester is about to start and I have classes to pick, a major to declare and no clue what that is. Also, my mother tried to pull a gun on my boyfriend for no reason, and I haven't been able to go to the loft in weeks because of Cla—" Ciara stopped herself, not wanting to put her uncle in between her and Claire's drama. "I just have a lot on my mind." Ciara reasoned. It was official - the memory of that morning with Ben in the shower was long gone, replaced with a small sense of dread. Listing off the very real checklist reminded her how many decisions she really did have to make. "I'm not even sure where to start, if I'm being honest."

"Sounds like it's decision time. In more ways than one." He said, going to lock the front door. "Have you talked to Theo recently? Maybe he can help you work through some of this."

"Theo and I Skype once every few months and we send random things to each other on social media sometimes... but I don't want to bother him with all this." Theo was yet another person who definitely didn't need to be clued into her and Claire's issues, there'd been enough of that for a lifetime.

"Maybe you should think about it - he's a smart young man. Capable. You were pretty close once if I remember right. And you've known him practically your whole life." Roman prompted, walking back behind the bar. An internal click happened as Ciara understood why the conversation had taken this turn.

"Uncle Roman, you do know that me and Theo are history, right? Practically ancient history at this point."

"History has a way of repeating itself, Ciara."

"I can't believe this. You're actually here trying to shove me in Theo's direction, knowing full well that I'm with Ben." She scoffed slightly.

"Ciara," Roman raised his hands, placating. "I know Weston helped you at that cabin. Hell, I'm even grateful he was there to help. But you seem to think he's this misunderstood hero. It doesn't change the fact that he murdered three people. You can't pretend like—"

"No... no! I already know what you're going to say. And I - look, I get it. I know what he's done. I've never excused it, and I certainly haven't ignored it. But he's changed. You don't have to like Ben... Maybe you never will. Maybe no one will ever understand him the way I do. But not you, or my mom, or Rafe or anyone in this town has given him the chance to show them who he is NOW because they're too busy punishing him for what he did. You could never see what I've seen because you're too busy reminding him of horrible mistakes he made when he was sick - things he already carries with him every moment."

"I'm not going to let you be manipulated by this guy, Ciara." Roman said clearly. Ciara folded her arms, just as resolute. She wouldn't back down.

"For what I'm hoping is the last time, let me just say for the record - I am not being manipulated."

"You need to —"

"Uncle Roman - We are Bradys. We give people chances to redeem themselves, to do and be better. My Mom did it for my Dad, grandpa Shawn did for grandma Caroline, and she did it for me and... it's who we are." Roman looked away, clearly bringing up her grandparents had sobered him. She took a deep breath, calming herself.

"Whatever you believe about him... Ben saved my life. He literally picked me up off the side of the road and nursed me back to health. And it's more than that... He was so good to me... he was one of the first people who didn't make me feel like I was just the 'girl who got raped by her stepbrother'." Ciara said quietly, her voice breaking slightly. Roman looked down, away from her - this wasn't something he or anyone else could understand.

"Uncle Roman - He knows me. He respects

me. He understands me. And he loves me, more than I thought anyone ever could. So you don't have to like it. But I'm asking you - please try to respect it. For me. Respect it enough not to throw Theo around like some superior option. I love Ben. We're together, and that's not changing."

He didn't speak for a long time, long enough that Ciara thought maybe she'd lost another family member because of their inability to accept her relationship with Ben.

"You know, you really are just like my brother. Spitting image. Stubborn as all hell." Roman stood still, but raised his arms in surrender. "I don't like it. But, I do love you. And I will always be here for you, no matter what. So yes, I can respect it - for now." That was probably as good as it was going to get. Ciara smiled slightly.

"I love you too, uncle Roman."

"Now at the risk of you going on another little tirade... Your mother, Ciara... you need to talk to her." He said carefully. She sighed heavily, wiping down the bar with a little too much force. It had been weeks since the incident in the park, and she'd only responded to one of her dozens of texts and calls.

"I know. Ben just said the same thing the other day." Ciara retorted quickly. His eyebrows raised.

"Is that right?" Roman asked skeptically.

"What, you're surprised that he'd want me to fix things with my mom, who went completely ballistic on him for no reason?" Ciara folded her arms. "I know that you and my mom mean well, but you don't know Ben. She needs to accept that I am an adult, capable of making my own decisions. Who I love is one of them." Ciara was mostly thinking out loud at this point, looking over at her uncle he simply nodded.

"Your mother is one of the most loving, loyal and strong women I've ever known. You're like her, too." He said with a smirk. Ciara couldn't help but smile too - she'd always known she was like her father - a little wild, rebellious and opinionated. But to think that she was like both her parents, who's love defied all odds and was so strong and resilient through so much... it made her heart swell. Maybe the decisions she had to make wouldn't be so impossible after all.

"Every night you've been here she's asked me about how you're doing."

"Of course she's checking up on me,"

"She loves you, Ciara. Just give her a call. Can you do that for me?" Her uncle may be tenacious and stubborn - like her - and he may never see Ben the way she did, but she could tell he was making an effort.

"I'd do just about anything for you, uncle Roman." She smiled. "So yes. I will. Actually - do you mind if I get outta here just a little early? I just... I really do need to go pick some classes and this is the first time I've actually felt like I have any sort of want to get it done. Plus, with that off my mind... maybe I can try to make some peace with my mom."

Roman smiled. "Sure, I can finish up here. Go on." Ciara immediately come up to him and grabbed him into a hug.

"I love you, uncle Roman." She said quietly, his arms wrapping around her shoulders.

"I love you too, sweetheart."

She grabbed her bag from the back of the bar and untied her apron, walking to the door when there were two soft knocks. Roman's head shot up. Ciara grimaced slightly, knowing precisely who it was. "It's okay, Uncle Roman - it's for me." She said simply, hearing his sigh of irritation as she walked to the door.

"Ciara,"

"He offered to meet me because he wants to make sure I'm safe getting to my car from the square."

"Why wouldn't you be safe? The square isn't dangerous."

"I had to park further than usual today, with people Christmas shopping it was packed this afternoon. Besides, you know there's been more and more panhandlers recently. Ben just wants to make sure nothing happens to me. He makes me feel... safe." Ciara said softly, unable to hide her smile.

Roman nodded. "Well at least we are in agreement about one thing - I want you safe, too."

"I never feel safer or more protected than when I'm with him." She said matter of fact my. Her hand rested on the doorknob as she waited for a signal that he wouldn't tear Ben apart upon opening the door.

"Go on." He said gruffly, and she smiled. He had listened to her, actually heard her out... Ciara was calling it a win. Ben's back was to her as she opened the door, his overcoat and scarf coming up to his ears. She shivered as she put on the measly sweatshirt against the cold breeze. He turned to face her as he heard the door open, immediately taking off his topcoat to put over her shoulders with a smile. Looking up at him as she took it, suddenly the frigid mid-December air didn't bother her one bit. His presence was an immediate calming and warming agent to her, her heart pounded slightly as he fastened the coat around her.

"It's nearly Christmas, it's been snowing off and on for days, and you take a hoodie to work." Ben teased, but his face quickly changed as he looked into the pub at Roman. His face dropped, and as Ciara looked behind her to see her uncle coming to the door.

"Come on, let's go," Ciara said quickly, pulling him away.

"Weston!" Roman called. Ciara rolled her eyes, hoping the tirade wouldn't take long.

"Uncle Roman, seriously—" Ciara started, trying to push Ben behind her. Instead he put his hand up to stop her.

"It's okay, Ciara." Ben said quietly. "I can handle it.

"Well you're not doing it alone. I'm not going anywhere." She declared, standing at his side she took his hand and lacing his fingers through hers. Roman closed the door and faced them, his expression unreadable.

"Was there something you wanted to say?" Ben said, his voice flat. He was going to take whatever Roman would throw at him in stride. Ciara squeezed his hand reassuringly.

"Yeah. I wanted to say... I will never forget what you did to my family. To my grandson. Never. And the moment you step one hair out of line, or do anything close to hurting anyone, especially my niece - it'll be the last thing you do. Mark my words." He warned, his voice deadly. Ciara leaned against Ben slightly, reminding him she wouldn't leave.

"Look, I don't blame you for th—"

Roman held up his hand, and Ben fell silent, looking to the side. "I also wanted to say that Ciara is important to me. And so, for her sake, I won't interfere in your... well, with you two. And as long as you keep looking out for her, I can keep my opinions to myself."

Ciara's eyes practically popped out of her head. Ben froze, unable to move.

"So you're saying,"

"I'm saying that if I catch even a breath of anything dangerous from you, I'll handle it myself. But until then... Ciara seems to think you've changed. So as much as I don't like it... I love her, more."

"I love her too, Mr. Brady. More than anything in this world."

"Prove it. Prove her right."

Ben smirked slightly. "I look forward to it, sir."

Ciara thought she caught the ghost of a smile on Roman's face - she couldn't believe what she was seeing. Careful not to push it, she tugged Ben slightly.

"Well... now that we've got that straight. Good night, uncle Roman." Ciara said, bewildered. His eyes didn't leave Ben's as he nodded once, turning to go back into the pub. Her eyes were huge as she turned to Ben, he had hardly moved.

"Can you believe that?! I mean, did I imagine that or did he basically just tell us that he accepts us together?!"

Ben scoffed slightly. "Before or after he threatened to kill me if I ever hurt you?"

"Ben - this is huge. You have to see that! My uncle Roman being okay with our relationship... it... it's amazing." Ciara said, feeling like she could float on air. "Don't you see? If he can get there, maybe my mom the rest of my family can too!"

His eyes softened slightly - she was genuinely hopeful. His had been broken for so long, Ben had forgotten how it felt to be supported by family. He smiled at her, her goodness and hope for the future reminding him why he fell in love with her in the first place. She was unlike anyone he had ever known.

"Maybe, it's definitely a step in the right direction. God knows I've done enough to cause issues between you and your mom, and the rest of your family. Especially with that damn fire still unresolved."

Ciara's eyes filled slightly. "Listen to me - I know that you didn't start that fire. You don't even have to go there."

"Yeah, but I didn't know at first. Even I wasn't sure because I hadn't taken my meds. Ever since, I haven't missed a single dose. And I always have my extras in my wallet so I never will again."

Ciara sighed, resting her hands on his chest. She went to open her mouth to say something, but he put his fingers to her lips, then stroked her cheek. "The last time I missed a dose, that fire at the cabin happened. The last time I missed my meds, you almost died." Ben said, palpable fear in his voice at the thought.

"I told you, Ben. I know you didn't do it."

"Yes, but thinking for even a minute that I could have? Ciara, it terrified me. So now these are always on me." He patted his jacket pocket, feeling the bulkiness of his wallet. "So that not you, me, or anyone else never has to consider if you're in danger because of me ever again. You're the one thing that matters to me in this world - I will never put you in danger, ever again."

"I know. I trust you." She whispered, leaning into him as he kissed her forehead. As they stood holding each other, suddenly a passerby tripped into them.

"Oh, sor-sorry," he slurred, wreaking of cheap alcohol. Ben pulled Ciara directly to the side and behind him as the homeless man stumbled away. He was on high alert, still shielding her with his arm when she started laughing. After a moment he couldn't help but join in.

"Ugh, smell's like Skip's been at it all day." She chuckled. He smirked, looking behind them for the man, but he was long gone, into the square. Suddenly an overwhelming feeling of deja vu struck him - almost like the man seemed familiar.

"Skip?" Ben asked, shaking it off. These long nights were keeping him on edge.

"Yeah, you've never seen him? He's one of the three panhandlers who work the square. He's been coming around the Pub for the last few weeks. Harmless, but he drinks like a fish. He always wreaks of the same malt liquor, I swear it's like he bathes in it." Ciara said, sticking out her tongue in displeasure. Ben laughed quietly.

"So, I'm starving. Let's go home? I want to take the positivity we've got going on and put it to good use by making us some dinner, and picking out some classes for next term." Ciara grinned at him. Ben's eyes got big and his heart started pounding.

"Home?" He asked quietly. She nodded, watching him carefully. "With me?"

"Yeah... I mean, okay. I guess technically i shouldn't just invite myself to live with you - it's a big step. I know that. But I just..." Ciara stammered slightly, her cheeks flushing slightly. "I don't want to be anywhere else. And if you want some time to think we, we can talk about it —" He silenced her with a kiss, wrapping his arms around her waist and picking her up. He spun her on the spot and she giggled against his lips, returning his fervor by wrapping both hands around his neck.

"You've been my home since the moment I saw you. I don't want you to go anywhere else, either. Move in with me?" Ben asked breathlessly, his eyes sparkling back at her.

She smiled back at him, caressing his face. "Yes. Yes!" Ciara laughed, and he kissed her so hard she felt lightheaded. He still held her up off the ground, leaning his forehead against hers.

"Take me home." She whispered, hoping her voice made it clear that how much she wanted him. His eyes seared back into hers and he flashed a dangerous smile, carrying her out of the square back to the gatehouse... their home.

-••••-


	18. The New Normal - Extended Version

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So just what WAS that memory of Ciara’s that was so rudely interrupted?
> 
> Let’s just say - showers take a long time in the Brady-Weston household. 
> 
> Enjoy. 😉

“You know, I think you make a good point about showering together. It does conserve water, after all.” Ciara spoke softly into his ear, nibbling on the lobe. Ben leaned his head back with a small groan, turning to look at her. She quickly caught his mouth with a hard kiss as she finally she took hold of his dick, pleased to find his erection rising to meet her. He moaned against her mouth as she stroked him from behind. Ben suddenly turned to face her, drastically changing their angle. She continued stroking him when suddenly she was against the shower wall, his hands cupping her breasts. Her back against the wall, he kissed her hard, his tongue shoving its way into her mouth in such a way her legs went numb. She felt a new urgency rising in him, gasping as he hooked her leg over his hip and feeling his hard dick pressing against her belly. Ben was absolutely ravaging her neck now, one hand squeezing her hips and the other sliding down her stomach.

“Ahhh!” Ciara cried in both surprise and pleasure as he slid his index finger slid inside her, his thumb quickly finding her clit. 

“Apparently, I should wash your hair more often.” He mused, thrusting his fingers in and out of her at an increasingly unforgiving pace, she clenched every time. 

“Yes, please.” She moaned, digging her nails into his shoulder, trying to remind herself of her plan. Ben groaned against her neck as her hands travelled downward, gripping him fully. She started to stroke his dick back and forth, slowly and deliberately. He breathed heavily, leaning his forehead against her shoulder. “You’re so hard. You want me this much?” 

“Yes... Fuck...” He moaned, the sound of his pleasure reverberating through her whole body. Suddenly she switched their positions, Ben’s eyes widened as she used both hands to push him against the wall.

“Ciara,” 

“Shhh… let me.” She kept her eyes locked on his as she kneeled down in front of him. Lightly squeezing the base of his dick, she took the head into her mouth and relaxed as best she could. Ben’s hands dove into her hair tugging and pulling, she used hers to massage his shaft and play with his balls. Her mouth and hands worked in tandem as she found a rhythm. 

“Ah— Ciara, you’re gonna make me… ahhh.” He panted, his eyes rolling back into his head. She smiled as her mouth continued up and down his most sensitive area, reveling in the power she had over him. She felt him climbing, and at the same moment he tried to pull out of her mouth. Ciara gripped his hips, pushing him backward. 

“Shit - if you don’t stop I’m gonna come in your mouth.” 

“I want you to.” She immediately purred back, stroking him as she did. His mouth formed an O shape as her hand continued to squeeze his shaft. Their eyes were locked onto each other’s, the heat from his gaze made it feel like her entire body was on fire. 

“Are you – ah, shit – are you sure?” He panted. She nodded, kissing his lower stomach just above his dick, her tongue laving into the v of his abdomen. 

“I’m sure - I want you to come in my mouth. I want to taste it.” Ciara added shamelessly, pulling her head back down to take him in again. He groaned at her words, ones she could hardly even believe she’d spoken. Relenting, he slid his hands back into her hair, leaning back against the shower wall. She took him as deep as she could, feeling him thrust slightly against her. It was intoxicating, having him at her mercy like this. 

“Ciara, I — I’m gonna come — soon,” He warned, as she pulled him deeper, toward the back of her throat. She looked up at him and nodded slightly, but was possessed by the task in front of her. Making him come apart at the seams, having the most intimate part of him in her hands and in her mouth... it was all that mattered. It was her way of showing him how much she needed him, that it wasn’t one sided. His hands gripped her hair tighter, his breath coming out in huffs - she knew he was close.

“Ah, just like that, fuck—“ He growled, and it made her feel drunk with power. She pulled back, one hand going back to his balls and the other gripping him. She licked all the way from the base to the head of his dick. The sexy guttural noises coming from him went straight to her own arousal - she was feeling herself climb, too. To be able to make him feel like this, with just her mouth... She could barely stay focused. She reached for her pussy, her fingers touching her coated lips and immediately after massaging his balls with it. His head hit back against the wall as he bucked against her - she was driving him crazy, and she knew it. She smiled as he groaned. 

Ciara pulled back to increase the speed of her hand, and then sucking his head as hard as she could, she swirled around with her tongue. “God, you taste so fucking good,” She declared. His eyes burned into hers at the sight of her on her knees, all of him in her mouth. 

“Ahhh,” Ben moaned loudly. “Don’t stop, please.” He begged. She never understood how hot it could be to hear someone beg during sex until right this moment. 

“Say my name.” Ciara commanded as she held him in her her hands, stroking him faster now. 

“Ciara,” He said, his hips desperately pushing against her mouth. 

“Say it again,” She said, her own arousal now clear in her voice, barely able to to get the words out she wanted him so much. 

“Fuck!” He groaned again. 

“Close enough.” Ciara smiled wickedly, wrapping her mouth around the head of his cock and deepthroating him hard and fast - it was his undoing. 

“Ciara!” He cried out. She held him in place, her mouth wrapped around him as he came. Instinctively she grabbed his hips to hold him closer to her. He tasted so good spilling in her mouth - warmer and sweeter than she’d expected. She moaned against him as she swallowed, the vibration helping him find his release. Finally finishing, his back slumped slightly against the wall as he caught his breath. She wiped her mouth with a huge grin, he gave a bashful smile that somehow made her want him even more. 

“Did I mention how amazing you taste?” She groaned slightly, sliding her hands up his chest, then around his strong shoulders. His hands held either side of her face, pushing her hair behind her ears. “I’ve wanted to do that for months. If it’s even possible, you taste even better when you come in my mouth.” She whispered against his lips. His hands dove into her hair again and he pulled her into a rough kiss, pulling her hair hard to expose her neck. She cried out as he did - god did she love it when he was rough with her. Knowing she was completely safe with him made her confident, made her want to explore her sexual fantasies. The strength of her passion for him again surprised her - she had no idea sex could feel like this. 

“Do you know how sexy you are?” He asked as his mouth found her breasts. “Do you have any idea how much I want to fuck you senseless right now?” His teeth and tongue messily grazed down her throat. Between his hands in her hair, all over her body, and getting him off she was beyond ready for him. She moaned in response, ready for him to keep his word. 

“So do it.” She panted, pulling away from their kiss. “I want you so much Ben, please,” She kissed his shoulder, down to his collarbone. The deep groan that formed in the back of his throat as her hands slid from his chest to his stomach practically made her come right then. She smirked, feeling him already getting hard for her again.

“Damn, you’re so wet for me, baby. And so tight...” His index and middle fingers had found their way inside her pussy again, he positioned her back to the wall and draped her leg around his hips. 

“Ben... Fuck me, please... I need you—“ Ciara babbled out, his fingers thrusting in and out of her making her practically incoherent. 

“Yeah?” He growled. 

“I need you inside me... please—“ Apparently it was her turn to beg now, as his fingers continued their assault on her clit. 

“Almost, baby. I love watching you,” Ben said against her lips, eyes hungrily taking in her arousal. She was so wet she could practically feel herself dripping on him when he slid his hand out abruptly, and she whimpered. Immediately he wrapped her leg around his waist, grabbing himself with one hand and slammed himself into her. Ciara cried out, gripping his ass and digging her nails in as he thrust against her again and again. He sucked a breath through his teeth, and at this angle Ciara knew she wouldn’t make it much longer. 

“God, you are perfect. Fuck,” Ben growled in her ear, grinding into her clit over and over again. “I want you to scream for me, Ciara.” He instructed. 

She ground against him as hard as she could, meeting him thrust for thrust, panting and morning so loudly she was certain the groundsmen patrolling could hear - and she couldn’t care less. He was clearly repaying her for a few minutes prior, showing no mercy as he pushed into her harder and deeper. 

“Come inside me, I want you to come inside me, ah! Ben!” Ciara cried out as her orgasm finally hit her, reverberating through every nerve ending she had with a scream only he could command from her. It rippled through her in waves as he continued to slam into her, prolonging her climax so much she thought she’d pass out. She was still coming down when he finally came too, his head in the crook of her neck as she felt cum dripping down her legs. He had latched onto her neck, focused on a spot just below her ear that had become his haven. 

“Mmmm, I like it when you’re loud,” Ben winked, his tongue sliding down to her breasts. She gasped as he held them, molding them in his hands. 

“I was just doing what I was told...” She said innocently, still breathing heavy. “Besides - it’s kind of hot to think other people on the grounds can hear us. Don’t you think?” His head shot up. 

“I don’t want them hearing anything - you’re mine.” Ben purred, his eyes blazing. “Every sound, you make, every kiss, every time we make love - it’s just for us. It’s like there’s no one else in the world.” He clarified. 

“I’m yours. All of me.” She said quietly, running a hand through his hair. He kissed her stomach, looking up at her lovingly as his hands held each side of her waist. Ciara smiled at the thought that the passion between them was so all consuming that no one else would ever make her feel the way he did. And vice versa. 

“Showers are going to be lackluster after this. All I’m gonna be able to think about is how much I want you to fuck me in the bathtub.” Ciara teased. 

“Waiting to hear the downside here?” Ben laughed, grabbing a towel as he stepped out of the shower. “I guess we’ll just have to get creative.” He smiled, his eyes gleaming at her. Ciara watched him as she turned off the water - he ran the towel through his hair a few times, making it stuck up in the sexiest way possible. He went to wrap the towel around himself when she stopped him. 

“Don’t move.” She instructed. He froze, looking back at her questioningly. 

“What is it?” 

Ciara turned her head slightly to one side, appraising him from head to toe. His broad shoulders, hard chiseled stomach - that V - and of course his cock... 

“Nothing. It’s just... wow. My boyfriend is hot.” Ciara smiled, she could feel her cheeks flushing. He flashed that bashful grin again, looking away and suddenly she was biting her lip. How could he make her so aroused again already? 

“Come on, rockstar. Let’s go make breakfast.” Ben smiled. He reached a hand over to her, helping her out of the shower. 

“I’m starving,” She purred, knowing full well food was the furthest thing from her mind. She used the towel to squeeze some of the excess water out of her mane of hair, and before she knew it he was scooping her up into his arms. 

“Ben! Wha—“

“Actually, I think I’d prefer breakfast in bed.” Ben whispered, his eyes suddenly hooded with passion. Her fingers went to his jaw and then brushed over his lips. He kissed her hand and caught her index finger in his mouth. He bit down ever so slightly, and immediately her breath caught in her throat as she gripped his neck and shoulders. 

“You read my mind.” She breathed, both of them grinning as he carried her to the bed. 

-••••-


End file.
